am I obsessed or what?

Earlier last week, I had two pints in my freezer:
Haagen Dazs' pineapple & coconut and Toscanini's mix of lemon vanilla and CBC wort (the kecap manis flavored ice cream that claims itself as a beer-from-the-yeast flavored one).

Sorry to say, the Haagen Dazs was pale in comparison.

Then, I just finished my Toscanini's pint of Khulfi.

Last week, I met my friend to discuss about our thesis at... Toscanini, where else. We finished (on the spot) one pint, a mix of blueberry lemon and French Vanilla (a very nice blend).

The following day, I had a farewell lunch with a friend. After a hefty American burger in Miracle of Sciene Bar & Grill (see picture), we went to have dessert in... Toscanini, where else. A note about the Miracle of Science: apart from the menu that's displayed in a periodic table kind of way, I didn't find anything scientific about the place. May be the people, what with being sandwiched by MIT and Harvard. May be the drink list can explain more about the name.

In Toscanini, we had Kahlua and Mint Chocolate Chips (the latter was divine divine DIVINE -- the mint was so strong), not a pint this time. Hefty burger, remember?

Few days ago, when I've almost reached my breakdown limit, I went to... Toscanini, where else. Hoping to get the Mint Chocolate Chips again. But they did not have it, so I bought another pint of a mix of Grapefruit & Apricot and French Vanilla (the French vanilla really complements the fruity soury flavor of the former). At Toscanini, you have freedom to taste everything before making your important decision... I tried the Burnt Caramel Lemon, but it tasted like... plastic. The burnt caramel is OK though.

Today, since I went to that area (Pad Thai lunch, alone, only with my The Oprah Magazine, in Pepper Sky), groceries trip to Shaw's Star Market, I decided to drop by... Toscanini, where else, again. Still no Mint Chocolate Chips =(. So I got a pint of a mix of Grapefruit Raisin and Blueberry Lemon.

I believe Toscanini people wish everybody in Cambridge and surrounding is like me. I can see they start recognizing me already.

God still loves me

I went out to buy ice cream (what else).
It started raining right after I entered my dorm.
From the window I can see people drenching.
So I guess,
God still cares for me, He remembers me so He protected me from rain.
Hope the coolness of rain can refresh me.
So I can start to work afresh again.

ps: I guess my IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) revisits after more than 1 year. Due to stress?

still

I finally feel tired,
and it seems that my body will disintegrate any time soon...

But I still cannot sleep.
Lying there, feel my whole body pulsating from tiredness, surpassed by the pulsating of my brain: thinking at the wrong time and place.
I know I still have lots to do.
But I can't really think properly to do them.

What should I do?

If I am...

If I am a drinker, I'd have drunk.
If I am a smoker, I'd have smoked.
If I am a drug addict, I'd consumed drugs.

But I am not a drinker, nor a smoker, nor a drug addict.
And I don't usually cry.

So I guess I can only pray.

God helps me...

miss

It's been three days that I forget how to feel hungry, sleepy, or tired.
It's been three days that I've been blind and deaf of the existence that is revolving around me.
But the stress and gastric pain: they are still too clear.

Oh, I miss the feeling of feeling. A little bit of emotion.
A pinch of salt on these tasteless days.
A glimpse of oasis in this barren emotional desert.

Is workaholic the right word? Or obsessed? Or simply incapable.

I went to the beach!!

I went to Cape Cod today -- unplanned.

Yesterday my friend called and asked me whether I'd like to join them to our friend's place in Marshfield and then to the beach.

Beach? Of course!! So I said yes.

So my plan to do my thesis today went to thin air.

I feel happy, tired, sleepy with all the beachy goodness. The sand, the cold water, the sandcastles, the kids, the balls, the seagulls, the pebbles, the tiny shrimps, the sun, the breeze, the tan, the people!!

I spoke Indonesian almost the whole day today. I felt like I was in a nursery, too. Six kids!! But I am still beachily happy!!

**I am very stressed out with my thesis actually, wish me luck!! I thought I need a break so I agreed to go but despite all the goodness I kept on thinking about it, haiz**

have you ever...

Have you ever felt like this:

At one time, you feel happy, spirited. You feel that your world is yours. That your work is reaping. You're hyper. High. Adrenaline's pumping. You work. You rest a bit. You work. You think everything is alright. Work is your middle name. You have this wonderful picture of how your work will turn out to be in the end.

But then, suddenly the adrenaline stops pumping. You are not hyper any more. You are high no more. A sudden surge of tiredness overcome you. Your eyelids are dropping. Your mind refuses to concentrate. You are nauseating. You put efforts to keep your eyes opened. You simply know that: you cannot work anymore. Not tonight, not today.

This attack came to me today, at 7-ish. I knew I'd feel very tired from lack of rest and sleep. I tried to take a nap today but to no avail. Then it all came. So unfair.

(3rd) how if...

Kali ini serius nih.

How if I write a book?

Entah kenapa, surprisingly enough, udah beberapa orang yang nanya ke gua "kenapa lu gak tulis buku?" Gua pun bertanya "buku apa?" dan jawaban mereka selalu sama "autobiografi." Jawab gua "buseeeeeeeeeett, yang bener aja lu. siapa yang baca? anak cucu gua?"

Untuk kalian-kalian yang tidak belum mengenal saya dengan baik, harap jangan salah sangka. Saya TIDAK jago menulis. Tadinya saya pikir temen-temen yang ngusulin nulis otobiografi itu basa-basi, mungkin mereka tiba-tiba keilangan topik pembicaraan. Atau mungkin cara bercerita gua yang kadang terlalu nepsong (napsu - red.). Lucunya, pas gua ke sini, bahkan orang-orang yang baru kenal sama gua juga bilang begitu. Bahkan ada orang yang dengan seriusnya ngasi tau setiap ada orang yang berhasil nulis otobiografinya secara indie, alias gak pake publisher besar untuk memulai.

Apa yang bisa di-expect dari otobiografi gua coba? Gua belum menemukan hal-hal mutakhir, tidak menghasilkan karya-karya yang mengagumkan, tidak juga membuat ramuan-ramuan yang mujarab. Gua juga gak menemukan tambang emas di halaman rumah gua, tidak menemukan tambang minyak di garasi, dan masih banyak tidak-tidak yang lainnya.

Tak dinyana, teuteup banyak orang bilang cerita-cerita gua inspiring. Menurut gua pribadi, mungkin bukan inspiring tapi inspiring (instantly mecahin piring -- red.).

Hmm, heran kan? Gua sih heran. Apanya yang inspiring? Perasaan hidup gua penuh perjuangan, sukses dan banyak kegagalan SAMA seperti orang-orang lain. Gua juga bukan orang yang daring-daring amat (daring kagak darling iya). Contohnya, gua belum pernah skydiving atau bungee jumping ataupun reverse bungee.

Ada beberapa temen gua yang berbaik hati memberi tau alasan kenapa dia pikir cerita gua cukup layak untuk di-otobiografi-kan. Katanya, gua punya cara pikir yang berbeda dari masyarakat kebanyakan *tsaaaahhhh..* dan gua selalu cuek beibeh untuk berpendirian sama cara pandang gua, walau seluruh dunia berkonspirasi untuk bilang kalo gua yang salah -- dan ini terlihat dari perjalanan hidup gua *ta'elah*. Dan secara kebetulan yang menakjubkan dan tidak direncanakan sama sekali, menurut mereka juga, cara pandang gua yang "baru dan beda" (menurut mereka) itu, telah banyak meluruskan masalah-masalah ataupun kegalauan-kegalauan hati yang mereka pernah hadapi.

Tapi... nulis buku? Buset. Gua nulis thesis aja sampe nungging-nungging. Ngedit first draft (jadi second draft) sampe jam 5 pagi (cuma 1 chapter padahal), ngimpi-in third draft sampe jam 8 pagi, bangun-bangun ngedit chapter yang lain. Teori gua, the next draft of the same writing cuma boleh dibikin setelah jangka waktu minimum 24 jam untuk mengoptimalkan hasilnya. Bayangin kalo sebuku... bisa kurus kering. Parahnya, belum tentu ada yang mau baca apalagi beli wuakakakkakakakka =D

Udah ah, ada farewell lunch lagi bentar lagi...

****s*t*u*c*k*e*d****

I am stucked. This is one little chapter that has really made me going nowhere.
I really don't know how to best present this part. What I've done was typing the formula, pull in some graphs and thinking, thinking, thinking.
I want to rewrite everything that I've written yesterday (for this small little chapter).
Bleeeehhhhhh
I am already sugar-overload (from ice cream and chocolates) -- it doesn't work.

Heaven helps!

speedball-speedball-an

Jikalau anda terlalu napsu menggunakan laptop anda, apa yang terjadi? Laptop anda akan menjadi panas. Kalo udah puanas buanget, apa yang terjadi? Well, yang beberapa kali terjadi di laptop gua ketika MATLAB simulation gua lagi hyper-hyper nya adalah, ia mati mendadak tanpa pesan-pesan terakhir. Dan karena beli cooler rada males, beli speedball (google kalo bingung, ini bukan speedball yang olahraga) kemahalan cuma buat gituan doank, akhirnya yang ada kadang-kadang (kalo inget) gua kipasin dengan amplop atawa majalah. Capek juga. Ternyata selama ini aku cukup bodoh dan kurang kreatif. Solusinya gampang banget dan ada di depan mata. Liat foto di bawah? Yak itu adalah gambar pant*t (maap) laptop saya yang lagi njentit alias nungging sedikit ke atas. Kenapa mesti pake speedball yang harganya bisa mencapai USD 24 ketika yang kita perlukan adalah titik tumpu? Dari pengalaman ikke ber-product design ria, structure paling stabil (sesuai dengan DoF alias Degree of Freedom-nya) adalah structure yang mempunyai 3 titik tumpu. Dua titik tumpu tersebut sudah tersedia di laptop anda. Jadi cuma butuh satu lagi....



Akhirnya, inilah yang gua pake. Tempat earphone yang bentuknya semi-dome. Cukup lah kalo cuma untuk sumbang satu titik tumpu. Posisi mengetik pun cukup enak. Dan orang-orang bisa menyangka saya cukup kaya raya untuk membeli sepasang speedball. Padahal hidup masih bertumpu pada belas kasihan para tokoh-tokoh akademia terkemuka.

highlight of the month

look at my calendar...

and check out what's highlighted:

I C.A.N.N.O.T W.A.I.T!!!

And since the camera was within reach.... (nothing interesting, really)

my drama queen sistah

On the first of July, I received an SMS from my younger sistah. It reads:

"Eh, gua udah nyelametin ulang taon lu kan?"
"I have greeted you happy birthday, haven't I?"
-- my birthday is on 27th of May

I was like:

"Lu gila apa sedeng? Basi banget tauk!!"
"Are you crazy or nuts? That's oh-so-yesterday!!"
And of course, she has greeted me *on time*.

Then few days after, I sent her an SMS:

"Eh, Rin... gua udah kasi tau belum yah, g nonton Les Miserables di Broadway minggu lalu. Eh lu tau Les Miz gak?"
"Rin, have I told you that I watch Les Miserables in Broadway last week? BTW do you know Les Miz?"

And here's her reply that made my day:
"Anjrot! Tau lah... Broadway! GILA! Udah dech jgn diomongin yg itu... Skrg gw ama evelyn lg nyusun jadwal mugging.. Ow no sudah malam.. Goodnite :D"
(lazy to translate, it will lose the zest anyway)

Isn't she dramatic? =D I think she is, but may be because I can imagine her reaction when saying that. May be you can't. It amazes me how the four of us are so different in personality, talents, hobbies, and characters. May be it's a good idea if one day, all four of us join together to build a company/establish a business; each contributes his/her distinct talents... We'll rock!! Honestly, I can't imagine what kind of business that will be... since we're too different from each other.

This drama queen sister of mine is really a drama queen, in its literal meaning. She always gets the biggest attention when she is on stage. On the contrary, I am one of the most undramatic and plain living creature that the world has ever witness throughout its entire existence *tsaaaahhhh*. I do have a stage-freight, really. Luckily I am much better in presenting than performing.

But, woohooooo I miss her companion sometimes. We often found out that she/I just did something that I/she has considered on doing it. For example, painting your own shoes. I did consider for some times, planned to buy plain white sneakers and paint them. Then *tadaaaa* she came with her painted shoes. She always wanted to do scrap-booking then "tadaaaa" I already have all the tools, plus glitters, plus sands (of which I asked my other sister during her beach outing hahahaha), plus trinkets, plus rubbish, etc. Once I wanted to become a wedding fashion designer, then I found her collections of pencil drawing of... contemporary wedding gowns. It also amazed me how she was amazed with my paintings and she took pictures of them (with her camera phone) in such a way that they look better.

Please don't think that I don't do justice here. Of course I miss my other siblings, but for different things hahaha =D

Anyway, my drama queen sistah, good luck for your A Level. Don't sleep and draw too much!!

A funny thing happened at the museum

How can I miss out Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) when I was visiting New York City? I absolutely can't. So my friends and I went there 15 minutes before it was opened and yes, we had to stand in line.

Only two of us were in line. Our other friend waited while sitting on the couch. My friend who was also in line is a 'he.' Anyway, somehow we talked about weight. Yes, as in 'the kilos.' Then I casually asked him "how heavy do you think I am?". Then he answered (uncertainly) "hmm.... 60?" I almost laughed because normally people underestimate my weight while he overestimates it until...

"Young man, it's not appropriate to ask a lady about her weight." A middle-aged lady in front of us, suddenly turned and said that. It was unexpected but we were playing along.

He: "Really?"
Lady: "Yes, young man. There are two topics that you have to avoid discussing with girls in whatever circumstances you are in. First, is the age. Second, is the weight. You have to keep this in mind if you want to be successful with girls."
He: "Oh, I don't know that." (of course he was lying)
Lady: "Did you just know this girl?"
He: "In fact, yes." (of course he was lying again)
Lady: "Just keep in mind."

Then she looked sympathetically at me while actually I almost fell off laughing. My friend thought the lady was kinda funny, too. Anyway, the story did not end there. Whenever I visit a museum, I prefer to be alone. So I was separated with my other friends.

So my female friend trampled around the museum with this male friend (the "young man"). Suddenly, she felt uneasy, as if somebody was examining her closely. And she saw this one middle-agged lady was aghast looking at them. When she told the "young man" what she felt, and the "young man" saw the lady, he almost bursted out laughing. Yes, she was exactly the same lady who addressed my friend as "young man."

Then we conjured up a possible scenario (they told me the story after we met again): the lady thought that I was so angry because he asked about my weight (and overestimated it) that I left him, and he was immediately hooked up with another girl, who is 20 cm taller than him. Man, isn't it funny.

Anyway, I don't quite agree with what the lady said. What's so shameful about age and weight? Even if you don't tell, people can see. And there's nothing wrong with whatever numbers you have.

I am proudly 26 years old and I weigh (approximately) 55 kg.

how if how if how if

hey, thanks for those who have commented on my (2nd) how if posting.
but actually, I want to know how many will believe me if I said so (like when I ask "how if I say I am on diet?").

So, pick one:
1) it's likely that I will become a full-time housewife and mother
2) it's unlikely that I will become a full-time housewife and mother
3) it's impossible that I will ever become a full-time housewife and mother

Of course, I also welcome your comments about being a full-time mother when having a PhD (Floooooooooo....!!!!).

OK, I'll let you know what my friends' reaction here when I (iseng-ly) asked those questions.
AND... I'll also tell MY own answer later.

Keep the comments flowing... send to e-mail too (themotherofzeus@gmail.com)... waiting for them!!

(2nd) how if...

... I say I want to be a full-time housewife and mother?

I really want to know what you think!!! Write me!!

the broken plane

We (Sonja and I) were so excited on Thursday 8 June. Soon we were flying to BWI, Baltimore. We had all our stuffs in her red luggage. We went together from office. The day was bright, the sun is up, it looks like one idyllic day to hop on a holiday. It was on MIT Graduation day -- this makes everything even merrier. People walk by, pets, balloons, flowers, teddy bears, the chatter, the laughter, flashes of camera...

We arrived at the airport pretty early. So after we checked in our luggage, we were pretty much relaxing and sashaying along Logan airport. During the first half of the trip, we were commenting on the silly things they sell in the Sky Mall. It's not the shopping you do inside the aeroplane, but a cataogue you can collect and order later.

Then the flight attendance made an announcement "Due to some hydraullic control problem, we will have an emergency landing in JFK, New York." Some of us started getting worried, though not so much to consider it as panicking. After being bugged about the same question about our safety over and over again, he made the second announcement "The captain is very sure that we will land safely. It's part of the company regulation that we have to make an emergency landing in the nearest airport whenever such problems occur." When we landed in foggy JFK, we saw rows of ambulances and fire trucks lining up to greet us. What a greeting.

Anyway... we were abandoned for approximately 20 minutes in a crowded JFK to wait for our next fate. After a wait that felt like an eternity, they made an official announcement that the flight is officially cancelled and the passengers are requested to proceed to the Customer Service Counter to arrange for rebooking and accommodation.

Lo! The line was already sooooo long. Apparently, in such foggy weather, many flights were canceled. Hundreds of passengers were estranged. Some just left and catch Amtrak to the destination. I didn't do that as I don't know what would happen with our luggage.

Well, it wasn't a pleasant experience at all, but Sonja and I kept telling each other that "Things can be worst than that." "Imagine if the engine stopped working and we were still airborne." And after listening to some people on the line, we still indeed felt lucky. There was one Professor who was supposed to give a lecture on the next morning, 8 am. It was already almost 10 pm and there was no more flight that night. Some people needed to attend a cousin's wedding or birthday. Lucky for us *still*, it was only for holiday. "The broken plane" was the keyword for the night. When we talked to the Customer Service person, she said "oh you're another one from that broken plane."

Anyway... we were allocated to this far far away hotel, and we got the 8.15 am flight the next morning, but from La Guardia airport (not JFK). The hotel was said to be 1.5 hour drive from JFK!!! Due to the many cancellations that took place that night, all nearby hotels are full full full. So we waited in dismay for the shuttle bus to pick us up -- a wait that seemed like an eternity. Meanwhile, we also tried to track our luggage down. We'll feel much better if we have our luggage safe with us. But. To No Avail.

After a long wait, we were told that all of us will get rooms in a nearby Ramada hotel, which is approximately only 5 minutes away from the airport. Soon after, the bus came and off we went. The hotel was nice, but it was chaotic. What with a sudden surge of hundreds of people at one night. Oh, in the bus, a 7-year old boy, Dion, smiled to us and asked "Are you sisters?". If only sisters can have different hair color and 15 cm difference in height. Haha we indeed got close with some of the broken plane passengers... *we're in it together, yeaaahh...*

We were allocated in this room just in front of the elevator, on second floor. It was so noisy, what with people passed by, and got in and out of the elevators. It was already almost midnight so we decided to just sleep as the only morning shuttle was at... 5 am!! It wasn't my best evening I tell you.

We got this small survival kit from the airport. So we could only change our t-shirt to the free white t-shirt given in that kit. I slept with my jeans. We didn't have our dinner but we didn't feel anything close to hunger. I couldn't sleep that night; thinking about our luggage, about our flight tomorrow, and I forgot what else. Guess what, when I started dozing off from tiredness, I heard the fire alarm ringing!!! I quickly got up, woke Sonja up, switching on the light and went outside to check. I saw people gathering in the main hallway (right in front of our room), made noises, but somehow I found out that there was no fire. So I went back to bed to try to sleep again. I woke up at 4 am because I want to take a nice shower and hair-wash. Well, if I still deserved anything... it's cleanliness and hygiene.

There were 6 people from the broken plane who were rebooked to the same flight as ours. Guess what, we stood in the wrong line!! Lucky for us to come so early, we still had time to go to the correct terminal (which was soooooooo far) by shuttle bus. I was so skeptical about the flight. Only when the plane really flew that I could sit back and relaz, but still thinking about our luggage...

So we arrive in Reagan airport (no longer BWI) shortly before 10 am... without our luggage.

to be continued....

how if...

... I say "I am on diet."
I want to know how many people (especially my friends) who will believe it.
If you don't believe, please tell me your reasoning.

Thank you!! Looking forward for you comments (here, e-mail, sms, call, etc).

nonton pelem

rumet g kuat bener nonton pelemnya... reli bo...
hari rabu, dia nonton setengah harian sebelum dia pergi ke Independence Day BBQ terus nonton kembang api malemnya.
hari kamis, dia nonton lagi seharian. pas itu gua kudu ke sekolah soalnya ada meeting sama prof gua, tapi pulang siang jam 2.30an karena gua kecapean dan kengantukan banget, eh dia lagi nonton juga kayaknya. PeWe (posisi wenak) aja di tempat tidurnya, laptop di pangkuan.
hari jumat, kayaknya mungkin dia merasa bersalah jadi jam 3an cabut ke office sampe malem.
hari sabtu, lumayan... ke office dari 9.30 pagi sampe 11.30 malem. tapi entah di office nonton juga gak. pulang malem gitu masi sempet-sempetnya nonton bo.
hari minggu (hari ini). tadi pas g breakfast, dia bangun jam 9, naro baju di laundry, terus bobo lagi (!!). pas g mau berangkat misa, dia bangun (kayaknya mau mindahin baju ke dryer). pas g pulang misa, dia gak ada... dia pergi lunch ama temen-temennya sampe 1.30an.
Udah gitu, nonton lagi bo... reli lagi.
Kok tahan ya? g nonton 1 felem yang 2 jam aja rasanya udah sakit kepala. makanya gua sukaan nonton DVD daripada bioskop, karena kalo DVD nontonnya bisa gua putus-putus. Rekor gua ngabisin 1 felem dalam kurun waktu 3 minggu.

dia reli nonton. g reli ngedit dan ngebenerin thesis dan mikirin the "bonus chapter" for my thesis, sambil sibuk ngebayangin Prime Ribs or Baby Back Ribs dan kaki ayam.
pusingan mana, reli nonton atau reli nesis (men-thesis -- red.).

PS: ya emang deadline thesis kita beda seminggu, gua duluan (g yang pengen juga sih). teuteup aja, kok bisa ya orang nyantai begitu.

Nokia -- connecting people

My friends said that I am the Nokia in the group. There is no way that our circle of friends will have as many as people as we have now without me... Woo hoo!! I feel so important *smug*. Trust me, it's actually all coincidental... really. I didn't really put effort (as I am not a very special person myself), it just happened that way, nonetheless. Let me try to recite how it started.

One Sunday, I came to MIT chapel to be ready for the 9.30 mass as usual. When I turned around (as I am always restless when sitting down), I saw this familiar face. I am sure that I'd known her before in Singapore. She seemed to recognize me, too. That's how I had my first *real* conversation with Merlin. Every Sunday since then, we sat side-by-side in mass. I just signed up for the Winter retreat. I urged her to sign up too, and she did. The retreat was on 9 to 11 February 2007.

When we were waiting for the bus that would take us to Bethel (Maine) for the retreat, Rachelle and Andres came into the room. We talked as normal-people-who-just-met talk. We found out only later that Rachelle dragged Andres to the retreat like I did Merlin. After a long and cold journey, we arrive at the bed & breakfast at night. After dinner of greasy pizza, soda, and had some briefing, we're off to our room and enjoy the cold night but in a very cosy place. I mean, very, very, very cosy place. Here's the outlook:



If you think that the place is really tranquil, peaceful, and beautiful, you are absolutely right. It is a small town where you can walk from end-to-end in one hour perhaps. The only big building is only Gould Academy; the next tallest were church towers. The town was like popping out from Christmas Card.

The next morning, we had the most wonderful breakfast ever. Wonderful, superbly delicious, sumptuous, and most importantly FRESH home-made breakfast. The homefries were paramount. The warm fresh-from-the-oven muffins with fresh blueberries, the sausages, the fluffy scrambled egg, warm bread, fruits, yoghurt, bacon... they were divine. The breakfast there were truly OVER. THE. TOP. No less. We saw them taking them out from the oven, carrying trays to us in the oozing goodness.

Anyway, some of us went to Sunday River for ski on Saturday. Guess who were in the Beginner Class? Me, Merlin, Andres, Rachelle.

After spending hours of stumbling together, falling and getting up again, laughing with each other, we were instantly bonded. On that evening, after the mass and another sumptuous meal, we walked out around town (which is not big at all) with some others. We made a snow angel. When we slept that night, we couldn't wait to get up again for another... breakfast. It was as good as before. Oh did I mention about the cripsy-on-the-outside-soft-on-the-inside French toast? What a treat. All breakfast that I've had afterwards were pale in comparison. Then we had another walk... to the frozen, snow-covered river and creek. It was beautiful, idyllic and it makes winter so much bearable and nicer =).

So that's how the "main circle" met.

Next. I knew that there was an Austrian girl joining our program and coming on 31 January. Then I knew that she'd do her thesis under the supervision of my professor. Then I knew from my professor that she would sit right behind me.

So when I saw this pretty, brown-haired, unfamiliar face, I just asked "Are you Sonja?" She was so happy that somebody approaches her. She was new and only knew one other student in the lab that time. We went to class together (a class that we dropped since we were lost in the realms of stress and strains), then went to our department (CDO) reception. Since then, we went for lunch together whenever we happened to be in the office together (not that often though).

After Spring break, Merlin and I wanted to have lobster rolls in Quincy Market (see here). Sonja mentioned to me before that she likes Quincy and would like to visit it again one day. So I asked her along. The rest is history. A new Three Muskettresses were formed. Also since then, my friendship with Sonja started leaving the stage of "let's-have-lunch-together-since-you're-in-office-too." We started being real friends, not only (very good) school mates. How to put it, it gets more "personal," if you get what I mean.

Next. During the torture of my first PDE assignment, I worked with Anshul in Student Center's reading room. One day, suddenly a familiar face came in and joined our discussion. He is Sohan. On our second assignment, Sohan, Zhengyi, and I formed an "informal" study group. Well, in other words, to give moral supports to each other. On our third assignment, three of us are in the same "official" group with Leo and David. During that (very successful and enjoyable) assignment, we were trully bonded... especially the three of us. We celebrated everytime we finished some tricky codes/derivations/proofs.

One day, Sonja and I had lunch at Whitehead Institute cafe. Then, purely coincidental, Anshul, Sohan, and Ganesh came in and joined our table. That's how Sohan and Sonja got the first ingredient to be bonded.

In April, I signed up for Charles river cleanup. Then I found out that Merlin also signed up, too. AND I asked Sonja to sign up, while Merlin asked Andres to sign up. So the four of us were all up for cleaning Charles River as part of Environmental Week. As part of his desubicado-ness, Andres woke up late and called me only at noon. So we went to the Vietnamese restaurant in Harvard Square for lunch. It wasn't the first time Sonja and Andres met actually. In the bus, somehow we started talking about LOTS of stuffs... and they started getting bonded.

Next. One Saturday evening, Sohan, Zhengyi, and I were working together for our PDE assignment in Hayden library. Amidst the scattered papers, notes, laptop and our stress, I saw Andres who just came to the library and was looking for a seat. Since he saw me, he sat at the same long table. Then we all continued to the 24-hour reading room after the library closed. We left the reading room at the same time, around 1 or 2 am. We did it again on the following day. That's how they first met. After final was over, Sonja, Sohan, Zhengyi, Andres, and I went for dinner and watch The Namesake together. So yeah, the bond was formed.

David, Sonja, and I work for the same advisor. But somehow, Sonja and I always thought that this Jesus look-alike is too serious and smart to be fun. But David and I are in the same PDE group -- and we started talking like normal people (and he is hilarious at most of the times actually). So since Sonja was often with me, she knew David better. They stay in the same dorm. After meeting few times over laundry and printers, they got bonded too.

So that's the main skeleton of the story. And they said I am a Nokia -- connecting people. Then, our SUMMER JOYRIDE started... (squeezed between excruciating hard work). Stories later!!

Colombiano Farewell

On 3rd of June, we had our first farewell *sob*. So the farewell is for this guy:

who described himself as: tu amigo Andres: Colombiano, Desubicado, Amoroso, Apuesto. Quick find a Spanish dictionary if you want to know what he meant. What can I say, I can only agree with the first two adjectives though. The second one was especially given by us. You need to know him and what happened whenever he is around and is NOT around... The picture was his own photoshoot btw, with my camera. Desubicado indeed.

He is going for a three-month internship with a prestigous architecture company in Wall Street, NYC, no less. After spending one year in the Department of Architecture at MIT, he wil go back to the Netherlands to finish his other part of study (for Master degree). Then either go back to Colombia (get married and procreate) or come back to Cambridge (MIT or Harvard) for his PhD. Yes, he is indeed really smart but still... desubicado *grin*.

We had this nice and sweet card. We started writing our farewell message, before everyone tried to put a little more something on the card. I believe they were inspired by my little Durian King picture. You can give comments on the art works that you can find below (but please don't laugh). Sonja with her mouse, Merlin with her flower, and I tried to draw the MIT dome (to no avail). See the four figures (one is taller than the rest) and see the little squirrel down there? Andres then wrote a card to each one of us. And on my card, he drew the MIT chapel -- architect style.

LOST IN TRANSLATION: So what does this German mean?

Happy 4th of July!!

Boston, as the oldest city, is known to have the best Independence Day Fireworks display across the United States, even better than New York (or so they say). What's so special? They are really big, they are accompanied with music, they have shaped: stars, planets, numbers, smiley faces, palm trees, shooting stars, circles, and heart (during which the Boston Pop played Unchained Melody in the background). Not to forget some of my own interpretation: worms, anemones, jellyfish and a 4-years-old girl's interpretation: spiky hairs. But, well, nothing much. Just fireworks afterall.

The pictures aren't mine. I got them from a friend. I wasn't there, standing/sitting/picnicking under the pouring rain and cold weather with thousands of people by the Charles River. Instead, I was at my friend's 16th-floor apartment unit. The TV was switched on (so we didn't miss the music) and we were looking out from the raindrops-covered windows. Nine (young) adults and four toddlers, camped together and cramming the corner. It was great, the first time at MIT that I was surrounded by many people speaking Indonesian =).

And here is our MIT dome...

this entry is not for people on diet

They are some of my best friends here at MIT whom I invited for my birthday lunch at Pepper Sky the Thai Sensation restaurant. It was on 28th May, one-day late, because I was still in Niagara on my actual birthday day. It is a nice little Thai restaurant with a to-die-for Pad Thai in their menu. I literally dreamt about it during my Niagara trip, especially when I was hungry in the bus, and all my friends were sleeping.


So this is the long-awaited Pad Thai. It may not look as exciting as others (Green Curry, Mango Curry, Drunken Noodle, etc) -- but it is the best for me!! I really like the right proportion of sweet and sour, topped with the crunchy sprouts and crushed peanuts, spritzed by the fresh lime -- ooohhmmmmm. I am salivating now. The rice noodle is so good too, sufficiently chewy... hmmm...

The weather was perfect on that day -- it was cold in the morning but very sunny in the afternoon. Oh, I forgot to mention: I got tanned during my Niagara trip!! And I don't know why, but somehow the color I got is different from when I got it in Indonesia/Singapore. You know, I used to get this dark tan... but this time, it's reddish/brownish (I want to say bronzy but I am afraid nobody will believe it) -- to put it simply, it looks so healthy.

So some of us went to Kresge lawn, to play frisbee!!! But before that, they give me a surprise, tadaaaaa.....!!!

This is the Fresh Strawberry Cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory. They are real, huge, fresh strawberries!! The cream is SO SOFT, FLUFFY, with the right sweetness. Not too thick, so you don't feel satiated, but not too light, so it doesn't taste fake.
Well, what can I say... it's not really a surprise actually. Few weeks before my birthday, Sonja casually asked me this question "So tell me, what do you want for your birthday?" So I honestly answered "Strawberry Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory." *I like to make my friends' life easier* Like last year, I told my friend "Hey guys, if you consider buying me a birthday present, forget the hassle -- just give me Borders' gift voucher." That works! It is a win-win situation, don't you agree?

Look at me cutting the cake!! I did it as if I was doing a religious ritual *grin ear to ear*

I have to be honest -- I like it to bits!!

After our hefty lunch, we couldn't finish the cheesecake. So to my delight, I bring the remaining back (it was a wreck -- the cheesecake was so soft and creamy and I am definitely not a good cake cutter). I had strawberry cheesecake breakfast for few days straight!! I am not complaining...

We got few hours of sunny fun afterwards -- played frisbee (the wind made us look like horrible frisbee thrower), catch-and-throw with tennis balls, relaxing around, had some ice cold drinks, chatting. It was the week after the final -- and it was the Memorial Day holiday.

So after the extra-fattening cheesecake, what is this? Another group of friends celebrated my birthday separately (oh I felt so looooovveeeeddd...)

This is the Tiramisu from the best dessert place in Boston area, Finale. If you open the link, check these two desserts from the menu: Molten Chocolate and Manjari Mousse. I just had them today and they are oh-so-good. To die for. Oooommpphhh..

SO... that's all for my epicurean birthday in 2007. More stories later...

Niagara Falls

Four of us went for a 2-day trip to Niagara Falls on 26 and 27 May 2007 (yes I know it's oh-so-long time ago).

What can I say, the waterfalls were S.U.P.E.R.B!! It was wet wet wet all the time!! It was so difficult to take a good pictures, what with water drops all over the place. We were literally amazed by the vastness, and the seagulls!! Sigh, if only I can capture them in painting...

The trip was nice, though it was pretty tiring too as we spent too much travelling time in the bus. The tour guide managed to create some confusion with his accent. For some time we were perplexed because he introduced himself as the "Tall Guy." Well, he is 170-something but he is not 'that' tall. Sonja is definitely much taller than him.... Then we realized that he refers to "Tour Guide" that sounds like "Tall Guy." Then, when he mentioned that we were going to have a Chinese buffet dinner, he said it's $30 per head. We were like, "What?" We, the four MIT girls, quickly objected. Well, I don't mind paying that much for something worth the money, like Prime Ribs for example? Or International buffet, or seafood buffet. But for a normal, by-the-road chinese buffet and we only have 45 minutes? No way!! Then we (again) realized that he meant to say $13 and not $30.

There were so many people with the same nationality, of whom I won't mention at all -- they sang, clapped, clicked their tongues, snapped their fingers, almost ALL THE TIME. There was one baby in the bus who cried a lot. I don't really mind a baby crying, well it is only a baby after all and what can you do about that. But believe it or not, whenever it started crying, everybody at the back of the bus started singing lullabies, trying to amuse him by songs, clapping, fingers-snapping, and tongue-clicking. So much for a crying baby.

Since we were rather bored, we started playing games and.... RIDDLES!! How I loved riddles!! Especially when you can solve them -- felt like singing "We are the champion" with fists punching the air (in slow motion... making it more dramatic, you know). There are some very interesting ones, let me know if you want to hear any of them...

All in all, the trip was so much fun!! And it was on my birthday, too!! What a nice way to spend my birthday with the best of friends faraway from home... See the picture of us in the most gorgeous garbage bags ever (because they were worn by the most gorgeous girls alive). Look at how much fun (and wetness!!) that we had!!! We are such a group: Rachelle is always the coolest, Merlin is the sweetest and most calm, I am the craziest and the mother-hen, Sonja is the... how can I put it... wildest.

overdue overdue overdue

I just realized that I have so many overdue stories to tell in this blog, especially after realizing that blogging is one effective way to share pictures and stories to friends and family members...

I'll try my best (though some of the stories are... more than 1 month old?)

quotes of the day

"My mother drew a distinction between achievement and

success. She said that achievement is the knowledge that

you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is

in you. Success is being praised by others, and that's nice too,

but not as important or satisying. Always aim for

achievement and forget about success."

- Helen Hayes -

"Life affords no higher pleasure than that of surmounting

difficulties, passing from one step of success to another,

forming new wishes and seeing them gratified."

- Samuel Johnson -

Again, trying to motivate myself...

My Saturday in a few words

Well, may be not very few.

Sometimes I feel like I am being obssessed with working -- which is not good, because not everytime is your peak and productive time, right?
So I decided to blog instead of working -- there's a temptation there.

I had a pretty disturbed sleep, started waking up, dozing on and off since 5 am. At 7:30 am I really got up and started thinking of my research, blah... Then I took shower, breakfast, check e-mails, chatting and reached office at 9:30 am.

I worked until I realized that:
- I was really alone in office (in fact, on the whole floor)
- I was hungry
- I was (and am) a bit fed up with the food around campus

So I opened my outlook window and lo! My friend Sonja just sent me a mail and we reached the conclusion that we both are hungry and would like to have lunch together =).

We decided to meet in Student center and then walked to Pepper Sky. I love the Shrimp Pad Thai!! They cooked it so nicely today that I felt obliged to finish them though I was already a bit full.

When we walked back, Sonja said "Want to drop by Toscanini? You can ask whether they have Khulfi flavor."

To no surprise, there's no Khulfi shown in the flavor list on their board. Khulfi is known to be one of the most popular flavor and somehow it's SO difficult to get it. So I asked the guy behind the counter *semi-desperately*:

"When can I get Khulfi? You know, I've come so many times but never managed to get it." <- it's really true!!

Him:
"Hmm.. wait, I'll check the kitchen"

And lo! He comes with a bucket of khulfi ice cream -- rock hard from the freezer. For a moment, he was my Knight in Shining Apron Carrying Khulfi.

Him:
"How many scoops?"

Me:
"A pint, of course!!" *beaming*

Sonja got the CBC Amber Wort (yes, the kecap-manis-tapi-ngakunya-beer-flavored) ice cream. So we walked back beaming carrying a brown paper bag each with our precious Toscanini tubs.

I got back and reached my dorm at 5:30 pm. Read a bit of "The Places in Between" (Rory Stewart) and took a nap. Had a mixed dream -- partially Afghanistan (from the book), partially my research and some write-up that I have to prepare.

So I woke up before long, read a bit of paper and started working again until 10:30 pm. Shower, and couldn't decide which ice cream to take so I took both pints. Ate them while watching a movie. But as I am not a movie fan, could only stand it for half an hour. Luckily my mom called afterwards.

Going to sleep soon...

"laughter is the best medicine"

Who said that mantra to me? My mom.
Who has just made me laugh so hard? My mom.

She called me through skype by *accident*. You know what happen?

When I was *trying to* watch a movie, suddenly her skype popped up and called me. I frantically plug my headset to my laptop (it took a while) and I could hear my mom was talking to my brother. When she realized that I was on (she saw me through webcam) she said *loudly*

"Whoaaa.. why is it you? I didn't mean to call you but call my sister instead... hoahahahahaha Ron, see how stupid I am hoahahahaha...."
blablabla so she talked nonstop for few minutes making fun of me etc and suddenly "oh, my sister is online again. bye." Even before she finished saying "bye" she was off.
Then she called me again and complaining that the connection to Hongkong (where her sister is in) is really bad. It got disconnected few times.
Then she saw her sister online again. Then she abandoned me *very abruptly*.
On and on like that, yeah I was only a replacement hahahahah =D

Now I am for the n-th time being cut off.

But OMG, how I've forgotten how to LAUGH OUT LOUD. My roommate is away to Niagara falls this weekend so it's a perfect timing to have a cacophonous phonecall with a living cacophony called my mom =).

She really never fails to make me laugh, somehow. I laughed so hard until I cried. Actually it's so unfair, as I laughed when somebody is making fun of me like:
"oh my god does your nose grow in the US? It looks so big!"
"look at your forehead!! how can it be so shiny!!"
and ...
"why can't you sit still? You've been moving forward backward left right nonstop since I saw you from webcam. Do you have something on your b*tt?"

Me:
"Well, mom... if you could only remember, I inherit it from you"

Her:
"But that's impossible... I am so calm, quiet, demure, and shy."

Me:
*almost fell off from my chair*

Her:
"Show me something..."

Me:
"What?"

Her:
"Hmm... show me the handbag that you bought. I will see whether I want to get it from you or not."

me:
*got the new soft-leather handbag from my drawer and show it to her*

Her:
"Naaahh... it's too casual. Not elegant enough. Hmm, the belt?"

me:
*i really love this belt but alas it's a bit too big for me but at first i thought of giving it to my sister because, you know, it's too *young* for a mother*

Her:
"OK, that's mine"

me:
...

After talking for around half an hour, suddenly she grew quieter and asked me quietly:
"am i disturbing your study?"

me:
"Naah, in fact I was looking for a distraction to stop me from working when you called me"

then we continued having silly and funny and entertaining conversation (she can be very engaging at times) until...

her:
"Oh, she is online again... Bye!"

then... it was her again
"Blah, the connection is really bad. I will just ignore her and talk to you instead"

before long
"Oh, she's online again... Bye!!"

me:
...

quote of the day

"Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end.

It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing;

it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it."

- Margaret Thatcher

Yay, I'm trying to motivate myself here...

CBC ice cream

CBC is Cambridge Brewing Company, our local beer producer here in Cambridge, MA. Not that I am a beer drinker.

I came across it in Toscanini that offers many 'exciting' ice cream flavor. So, few weeks ago I had this CBC flavored ice cream which I really thought was nice. It somehow has some familiar taste in it.

I have been so stressed up lately and am almost burnt out =( -> so I haven't updated my blog for a while. Anyway, this afternoon I reached a point where I couldn't think anymore, and my eyes would no longer cooperate. So I went back to my dorm after making a detour to Toscanini. Hoping to get the Khulfi flavor (simply da best) but have never managed to do so for weeks now. So I ended with Lemon Vanilla and CBC beer again -- I bought a pint.

When I ate the CBC again just know, I realize why the taste is so familiar. It really tastes like sweet soya sauce, Indonesian style. Yoi. Kecap manis. ABC gitu2 deh.

So much for a beer-flavored ice cream...

haiiiii....

Haiii!!

It's been a while. My life hasn't evolved that much, though. I am still doing my research, the same old one. My courseworks have been over since mid-May, well I believe I've told you about this. Since then -- I've worked hard during weekdays and sometimes on Saturday, too and had great fun on Sunday.

There are loads of things I feel compelled to tell you about -- Niagara trip, my birthday, our lab BBQ, our lost-random-Colombian friend's farewell, etc. But that can wait. Today I'll be off to another holiday!!! I'll be in DC for a few days.

Sonja and I have SO MANY plans for this June. And both of us are working with a very nice professor -- disappointing her is the last thing we want to do. Thus, we've been working like there's no tomorrow everyday before we go. I was working like a machine -- nonstop, super excruciatingly exhausting, on the verge of tears few times but I've finished what I have to finished this week yesterday at 8 pm. Woo hoo!! Part of being a massochist, I always feel that I have to truly deserve a holiday =).

This June will be very busy for me. Many farewells are coming up, lots of coffee, hanging out, picnic, exploring the town -- in short, my weekends are filled. Imagine how my weekdays will be like, phuh... I feel like topping up my Vitamin C daily intake =)

Back to last night -- as I mentioned, I was exhausted yesterday. I got a severe gastric pain when I reached my room. Then I had to do my laundry, ironing, packing, printing out stuffs, managing some other stuffs, calling my mom -- I almost fainted. It's not good -- man, I am going for a holiday today!! I felt lethargic so I slept at 12:30 am. Damn, I woke up at 6:30 am!! Ugh, why can't I sleep longer? I tried to sleep but couldn't -- tried so hard until my eyes got all watery. Anyway, I got up and recognized noises outside. This early? Today is the MIT 2007 COMMENCEMENT DAY!!!

Sooooo exciting. I made a detour before going to my office (why did I come when I don't feel well? -- I had a short meeting at 10 am, ugh). I went to the DOME, to Hayden, to Lobby 7 -- all jam-packed with people!! Asian, White, Black, all kind of people. Grandparents in wheelchair, babies in pram, people selling flowers, teddy bears -- I so want to march for my very own commencement next year!!!!!

We'll have Graduation reception for the graduating CDO students (yes, current students are also invited!!) later at 2 pm. Afterwards, Sonja and I will be off to Logan airport. Woo hoo!!

Hopefully I'll get better soon.

PS: OMG I will meet Sr. Francesco this Sunday!!

one freaky moment

I was alone in the office one night, and was *deeply* concentrating on my laptop. Suddenly, I felt a "presence" next to me, so I turned my head and lo!! There he was, a Jesus Christ impersonation, standing quietly and smiled to me.

Heck, can you at least say hi?

Haha it's not an epiphany-kinda-story, but I do have a friend who is a Spanish concoction of Jesus Christ and Aragon from Lord of the Ring. I was the first to mention that he really looks like Jesus (with beard and long hair) and apparently, everybody agrees. He works in an office next door and both of us are working for the same professor.
Believe it or not, when I looked at his *younger* picture in his driving license, still with short hair, he looks like David Beckham.

May be his parents just couldn't decide whom they want their son to look like...

overwhelmed

I am currently overwhelmed with the amount of works that I need to do in this Summer. It's an open secret that students under the same Fellowship as mine must work twice as hard as other MIT regular students.

We have to finish a research project in half the time that others do -- with no compromize in the expected quality whatsoever.

I am myself curious how will I handle this. We'll see.

I have weekend travel plans, too, which make my weekday schedules are even crazier (especially for a term break standard). Also, at the same time, all research/lab groups that I am involved in plan all sorts of BBQ/parties/reception etc...

Heaven helps!!

missing it terribly

Yesterday I sorted out some of my older files -- then I came across this JPEG file. It made me realize that I MISS PAINTING TERRIBLY.

I painted the Seagulls (from a photo I took in Gold Coast, Australia) early last year (2006) -- but now it feels like centuries ago. I used Daler-Rowney oil paints on a 40 cm x 60 cm Talons canvas (a really really good canvas).

Now, I have to literally gather my souls back to continue with my research =). Wish me luck, friends...

sleepy forever

Why do I always feel sleepy this week?
Starting from Monday, and it is Wednesday already.

Is it because my adrenaline is pumping no more?

best i've ever had

I know that I have been complaining a lot about studying at MIT.

But let me tell you this, sincerely, that this year is the best I've ever had. All the torture is paid off by what you got -- the educational experience (incomparable), the teachers (simply the best), the FRIENDS (amazing). And, yes, I love Boston too though the weather sometimes is terrible.

So, last wednesday (16 May) was the day of our final presentation for Advanced PDE class. I must say it was a success. We've had a great fun in doing the group project together. I know some people often complain about working in a group because at times, they are more troublesome than helpful (well, I did face such situations). Nonetheless, our group is very good with all different background and strength, we can split the job pretty fairly and everybody is happy.

Yesterday (Saturday) we celebrated the end of the term with a party. There are only 9 students in the Advanced PDE class and everybody was present yesterday plus some of our friends. We had a GREAT GREAT FUN yesterday -- good companionship, food and games.

One remarkable thing about MIT is how international it is. I will list everybody who fill the fun yesterday:
me -- Indonesia
Sonja -- Austria
Louis -- Chile
Nick -- Ohio
Sohan -- Srilanka
Anshul -- Northern India
Emily -- Philadelphia
Josh -- Iowa
Alejandra -- Mexico
Leonardo -- Italian but grew up in France and speak English, German, Italian, French, Japanese fluently, a physicist to be (and he was the one who prepared the mouth-watering lasagne yesterday)
David -- Spain
Zhengyi -- Singapore
Ganesh -- Southern India
Peter -- Australia

So we almost cover the globe =)

The food:
tortilla chips, potato chips, hummus, buffalo wings, cheese pizza, pepperoni pizza, meat and vegetarian lasagne (courtesy of Leo), green salad, strawberry cheesecake, Toscanini's ice cream (burnt hydrox, fudge kulfee, dark chocolate) -- world's best ice cream -- this was, of course, from me (who can't live without ice cream), wine, soda, lemonade, orange juice... simply awesome.

The game:
Werewolf -- it's very similar to mafia. It was so much FUN -- it's really fun to deceive, accuse and kill people hahahaha =D and everybody has different tactic... We played until we got too tired.

Afterwards, some of us still went to one piano room where somebody plays the piano and I sang "What a Wonderful World" -- because our finals are oveeeeeeeerrrrr!!

Well, we still have piles of research to do but that can wait 'til... tomorrow =(.

Friends, you rock!!!

ps: I still have lots of stories to tell but have to do laundry now. Ciao!!

ku tak percaya ini terjadi

Aku gak bakalan cerita panjang lebar sekarang, karena:
1) kalo diceritain bisa jadi novel sendiri (panjang!)
2) aku ada banyak PR buat besok dan Kamis (cape dee...)

Apa yang mau diceritain?

Tak lain dan tak bukan adalah kesialan-kesialan yang kualami selama seminggu terakhir ini. Tak percaya tapi memang benar terjadi, rasa-rasanya aku didera derita bertubi-tubi -- okh...

Mungkin terdengar membesar-besarkan, tapi pada kenyataannya banyak banget yang terjadi selama seminggu terakhir ini. Benar-benar membuat sejumput impian untuk bisa tidur nyenyak, jalan-jalan cari (dan makan tentunya) stroberi ciskek, syoping atawa berbaring-baring di rumput di taman-taman, atau main frisbi dengan teman-temanku, atau hanya bermain dan bercanda tawa ria riang gembira dan bertolol-tololan dengan teman-teman baikku di sini yang jauh dari tolol.

Minggu ini aku sudah menumpuk harapan -- semoga kondisi membaik, Amin. Tapi PR masi aja banyak, dan....
yak ampyun, mungkin ini malu-maluin untuk diceritain tapi ini kenyataan.
Hari ini, seperti biasa aku belajar di ruang membaca yang menempel sama perpustakaan Hayden. Kenapa? Soalnya kalo di ruang membaca, kita lebih leluasa kalo mau makan. Alesan lain, karena ruang membaca ga tutup-tutup alias buka 24 jam dan perpustakaan sudah tutup jam 12 malem. Jadi, kalo gak tau kapan mau pulang, daripada malem-malemnya repot-repot hijrah, mending udah nangkring di sana aja dari sore.

Tadi, ya ampun masa aku makan quesadilla... muncrat ke celana!! Sekarang aku bau dapur meksiko.... cis!! ku tak suka!! tapi ku tak akan pulang untuk ganti celana. PR-PR ku mengalahkan rasa benci ku *dangdut banget* terhadap bau itu... yeaaahhh... yeehaaaa.... *emang udah rada gila sekarang*

drowning...

I chat a lot with my Austrian friend. She is a wonderful friend and I almost find my 'twin' in her (despite the fact that I am 14 cm shorter).

We often shared stories and experiences in our high school/undergrad. How difficult the subjects were, how horrible the exams were... but we ended it by "yeah, somehow I still got an A." Sometimes the classes can be very difficult, but only because you're still (slightly) better than the rest, you still manage to get an A. This case is not applicable here at MIT.

At MIT, if you want to get an A you really have to put your B.E.S.T effort C.O.N.T.I.N.U.O.U.S.L.Y, A.L.W.A.Y.S. Believe me, it's a wonder sometimes to know that there are S.O. M.A.N.Y. intelligent people exist, how smart they are, and why on earth do they all have the same idea about coming to MIT. It seems that you can only relax at MIT iff (if and only if):
- you are super smart
- you don't really care about the grade
- your parents fund your education that you don't need to think about securing your own funding etc etc

I always think about my situation with the following analogy (that I've been using since high school I guess):

Imagine you are an entity in the world that occupies a certain coordinate x and y. Your current situation is defined by coordinate z -- which can always varies.
Imagine a swimming pool. Your very own x and y coordinates refer to one point in the swimming pool. The variable, z, is the depth of the swimming pool -- exactly at x and y that you're occupying. z varies for each combination of x and y -- everybody has his/her own problem, that is.

You, as a human, need oxygen from the air, not the water. In other words, you need to float -- you'll lose your breathe if you just stand on the base of the swimming pool.

In my earlier education, my z is not too deep. Thus, I can afford to rest a while by standing and not trying to float. I still can breath and, thus, live.

Now, my z is soooo deep. I have to stay floating all the time. Move my body in order to float even when I start losing energy and hope. I'll be drown if I ever stop floating. I can still survive (surprisingly), but it's just toooooo tiring sometimes.

It's crazy. One small glitch on one of your day, your entire week or even two weeks are in jeopardy.

That's what happen to me now. Wish me luck.

127.0.0.1

Another phrase from an MIT t-shirt:

"There's no place like 127.0.0.1"

It makes me realize: I MISS MY 127.0.0.1, a place with familiar smell, familiar noise, familiar people where I can sleep, sleep, and sleep without worries about homeworks and... stuffs.

leave us alone, we're only students...

This news may not reach the rest of the world, but this is what we received from MIT Police Circulation today:

-- start quote --

1) Shooting:
Cambridge Police report a shooting that occurred on Pearl and Perry Streets on Monday, April 30 at approximately 8:30 p.m.
SUSPECTS:
There are no suspect descriptions at this time.
REPORTED INCIDENT:
The victims were on Pearl Street where they were buying DVDs. One victim states he heard gunshots. He and his friend began running. At this time he realized he was shot in the lower leg.

-- end quote --

If the Virginia Tech Massacre has never occured, probably I will not be as worried as now. Some strange people (non-students) may make use of the situation...

At times, I left the library/reading room at around 1 am and Hayden is a bit far from the main lobby. On some days, I found the hallway empty -- a slight noise can really make me (almost) run. Am I paranoid? FYI, I was at school when the first 1998 riot happened -- so I guess it's normal if I'm slightly paranoid. Anyway, we have to be cautious and vigilant, right?