I enjoyed my last weekend.
Though I still had to do my homeworks and heaps of derivation and coding, but I also found time to go out, had dinner with loved ones (we had a 'blast' teasing the chef in Sushi Tei wuakakkakakaka), bickered with my sister and future in-laws (in case you're asking, he is not in town), went out to buy some new red stuffs (I need a certain dose of 'red stuffs' every now and then to boost my spirit), etc etc etc...
I slept less but I was energetic. High. Did what I had to do.
Last night I had enough sleep, 6 hours. Before leaving home, another 1 hour.
But today, when I came to school at around 3pm:
severe headache
fever
I think I know why.
THE LADY IN RED IS ALLERGIC TO SCHOOL.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Links
aduh biyuuuung... ngantuk pisan euy. Gak boleh bermalas-malasan!! Harus semangat!!
Though I really want to have a decent sleep... =(
Anyway, this entry is just about links...
To motivate you
To entertain you -- I believe some of you might have seen it though...(Thanks Cath!!)
To be nostalgic -- originally it dated back to 29 years ago, but for us.. hmm 15-20 years ago?
To melt your heart -- a wonder boy from one of my favourite movie...
Only if you are curious -- knowing what I must go through now, I think I should stick to #2 *nasi sudah menjadi bubur*
C'est tout... Bonne journée!
*J'ai beacoup du sommeil*
Though I really want to have a decent sleep... =(
Anyway, this entry is just about links...
To motivate you
To entertain you -- I believe some of you might have seen it though...(Thanks Cath!!)
To be nostalgic -- originally it dated back to 29 years ago, but for us.. hmm 15-20 years ago?
To melt your heart -- a wonder boy from one of my favourite movie...
Only if you are curious -- knowing what I must go through now, I think I should stick to #2 *nasi sudah menjadi bubur*
C'est tout... Bonne journée!
*J'ai beacoup du sommeil*
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
gagal total dengan suksesnya
So, that was it.
The Optimization Method is an utter, complete, total disaster. Though I am compelled to say that it's still half as disastrous as my Microprocessor System exam in third year undergraduate.
Another thing, I won't encourage any living creatures to have exam at night. Ours was 9.40 pm - 11.20 pm. Hardly enough to finish all those monstrous questions.
It's soooo much more difficult than all past year midterm papers that we have attempted. Not even close. I also feel bad for Prof Sun who has guided us during recitation sessions here in Singapore. He is soooo good, sooo patient, sooo kind, soooo smart. I feel I am (or we are) disappointing him.
I have decided what thesis project I am going to do and surely it has nothing to do with Optimization. I know this grade will have minuscule effects on me. For me alone, I don't really care.
But for Prof Sun who has been very nice...
For my mother, sisters, brother, significant other, loved ones who have (too) huge faith in me and have prayed for me fervently...
I feel like disappointing them...
*feel so bad*
The Optimization Method is an utter, complete, total disaster. Though I am compelled to say that it's still half as disastrous as my Microprocessor System exam in third year undergraduate.
Another thing, I won't encourage any living creatures to have exam at night. Ours was 9.40 pm - 11.20 pm. Hardly enough to finish all those monstrous questions.
It's soooo much more difficult than all past year midterm papers that we have attempted. Not even close. I also feel bad for Prof Sun who has guided us during recitation sessions here in Singapore. He is soooo good, sooo patient, sooo kind, soooo smart. I feel I am (or we are) disappointing him.
I have decided what thesis project I am going to do and surely it has nothing to do with Optimization. I know this grade will have minuscule effects on me. For me alone, I don't really care.
But for Prof Sun who has been very nice...
For my mother, sisters, brother, significant other, loved ones who have (too) huge faith in me and have prayed for me fervently...
I feel like disappointing them...
*feel so bad*
Monday, October 23, 2006
Burnt Out
We found out today that ALL of us are burnt out.
This is the busiest period in our term, supposedly, but somehow we lose the languor, the drive and motivation.
Despite Optimization midterm this wednesday, we couldn't really study last weekend. Today, somehow the mood was high and hyper... it is not like we're going to have midterm at all. We just couldn't care less. The class has never been closer like today.
Until the TA had to quieten us.
Some of us bring laptops to the class. And in the middle of Optimization lecture, my friend check his e-mail and... PDE Assignment is postponed for another one week!!
HOORAAAAYY!!
So we went even more high and hyper afterwards. (I heard that a senior typed for 9 PAGES for the derivation of question 2b. 9 pages just for the derivation! Can you imagine that? And I haven't even started that particular question. The due date was supposed to be 30 Oct).
Except me.
Halfway through the lecture, suddenly I felt sick. Really sick. Head spinning, nauseatic, listless.
When I stood up after the class finished, I realized that my body shaking especially my arms and legs. Walking to the van was something strenuous. I could really see my hands trembling. I really thought I would faint any minute.
I am home now, take as much as glucose surge as I can. Biscuits, chocolate, hot ginger drink...
That's why I didn't go to sleep straight away. I have to stuff myself. As if chocolates are my staple..
This is the busiest period in our term, supposedly, but somehow we lose the languor, the drive and motivation.
Despite Optimization midterm this wednesday, we couldn't really study last weekend. Today, somehow the mood was high and hyper... it is not like we're going to have midterm at all. We just couldn't care less. The class has never been closer like today.
Until the TA had to quieten us.
Some of us bring laptops to the class. And in the middle of Optimization lecture, my friend check his e-mail and... PDE Assignment is postponed for another one week!!
HOORAAAAYY!!
So we went even more high and hyper afterwards. (I heard that a senior typed for 9 PAGES for the derivation of question 2b. 9 pages just for the derivation! Can you imagine that? And I haven't even started that particular question. The due date was supposed to be 30 Oct).
Except me.
Halfway through the lecture, suddenly I felt sick. Really sick. Head spinning, nauseatic, listless.
When I stood up after the class finished, I realized that my body shaking especially my arms and legs. Walking to the van was something strenuous. I could really see my hands trembling. I really thought I would faint any minute.
I am home now, take as much as glucose surge as I can. Biscuits, chocolate, hot ginger drink...
That's why I didn't go to sleep straight away. I have to stuff myself. As if chocolates are my staple..
Sunday, October 22, 2006
what do i do today?
Today I did nothing much *stress*.
To begin with, I woke up when it was almost lunch time *grin*. As I slept when it was almost breakfast time *doh*. I believe I was half dreaming when working on my PDE report at almost 5am. Seriously, I guess the last updated part of my report was a mix between the assignment and my dream. No joke. Do you know the moment you doze off, half awake and half asleep? But as my hand was still typing, it's a jumble of both...
The question that I was working on was about 'rescue mission' in Boston Harbor. So we are given the speed function around Boston Harbor and are supposed to find the optimal path from lifeguard postition to the swimmer by solving Eikonal Equation numerically.
Surely it has nothing to do with pistol? But believe it or not I found 'pistol' on my report. That's the moment I decided to sleep hehehe =D
Before lunch, I read Optimization *midterm this wednesday!! pray for me please* a bit, then continued after lunch, then watched the second half of Elizabethtown, then printed out some past year midterm, did one, then decided to go to Cathedral for 6 pm mass.
Left home at 5, took bus, dropped a book in library, attend mass, went to Raffles City:
- quick dinner of pizza and caesar salad *yum*
- went to 'That CD Shop', ask the counter whether they have Rick Astley's Portrait, got it, paid for it
- went to Marks and Spencer to buy some nibbles
- bought two takeaway scoops of Haagen Dazs
- dashed home
- reached home at around 8.30
- eating my ice cream while blogging
- listening to Rick Astley
- start getting panic, will I finish all the things I have to do? Am I too relaxing today?
Human. Whatever we do it just never seems right.
To begin with, I woke up when it was almost lunch time *grin*. As I slept when it was almost breakfast time *doh*. I believe I was half dreaming when working on my PDE report at almost 5am. Seriously, I guess the last updated part of my report was a mix between the assignment and my dream. No joke. Do you know the moment you doze off, half awake and half asleep? But as my hand was still typing, it's a jumble of both...
The question that I was working on was about 'rescue mission' in Boston Harbor. So we are given the speed function around Boston Harbor and are supposed to find the optimal path from lifeguard postition to the swimmer by solving Eikonal Equation numerically.
Surely it has nothing to do with pistol? But believe it or not I found 'pistol' on my report. That's the moment I decided to sleep hehehe =D
Before lunch, I read Optimization *midterm this wednesday!! pray for me please* a bit, then continued after lunch, then watched the second half of Elizabethtown, then printed out some past year midterm, did one, then decided to go to Cathedral for 6 pm mass.
Left home at 5, took bus, dropped a book in library, attend mass, went to Raffles City:
- quick dinner of pizza and caesar salad *yum*
- went to 'That CD Shop', ask the counter whether they have Rick Astley's Portrait, got it, paid for it
- went to Marks and Spencer to buy some nibbles
- bought two takeaway scoops of Haagen Dazs
- dashed home
- reached home at around 8.30
- eating my ice cream while blogging
- listening to Rick Astley
- start getting panic, will I finish all the things I have to do? Am I too relaxing today?
Human. Whatever we do it just never seems right.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Missing a holiday...
I wish I was there again. In the midst of winter chill, and yet the blazing sun of... Surfers Paradise!
No worries. No responsibilities. No tasks. No agenda except to have an utter fun. Literally jobless (was in between job hopping). The most glorious days ever. We had SO MUCH FUN!!! Sisters who have waited for twenty-over years to meet?
I miss holiday, badly. I crave for it.
I also crave for some foods:
creamy mushroom pasta (don't ask me why, it just suddenly crossed my mind during one of the lecture)
Haagen Dazs - Strawbery Cheesecake and Melon flavoured ice cream
Haagen Dazs - Affogato
Mushroom and Cheese Prata
Chicken Murtabak
FRESH GREEN SALAD -- I guess I really need it!! I feel more and more lethargic each day...
Seah Street Deli's Bread and Butter pudding (ooommmppphhh)
Crusty thin pizza
Salmon Sashimi with a glob of wasabi *yum*
Heh, it's just some from MANY.
At night, when I am alone, with only a faint MP3 sound and the rythm of your typing, nobody else's online to chat with, the craving surges like there's no tomorrow.
Can't imagine if I get pregnant one day... what to crave? ('to crave' you mean I'll plan it? *wink*)
We'll have a meeting with faculty members (via video conference) tonight 8 pm. So I have to go to school after dinner =(. Normally I can spend the whole Friday at home.
I hope they're going to discuss about the thesis project for next term.
OMG I'm soooo hungry now. You can hear the rumble in my stomach. But the dinner is not ready yet =(
PS: the other girl (in the picture) just registered her marriage yesterday. Felicitazione!!
I wish you all the blissful matrimonial life ahead, blessed with wonderful children. Though I am rather sad that you'll move back to Sydney again, it's barely 1 year you're here in Singapore... But it's OK, at least a free accommodation is guaranteed whenever I feel like flying across the Pacific...
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Some tips for you...
Actually, since my undergraduate years (or was it my high school time) some people do come and ask me how can I stay awake and study 'til the breaking of dawn (not always, of course, not even close to frequent).
OK, so here are some tips for you. Hmm where should I start...
You'll definitely be very sleepy. Try to motivate yourself, telling that if you work hard tonight you will get a better day tomorrow though this fact is not always true. Life is cruel sometimes, my friend...
Blast some music, depending on your mood. Normally you need something a bit more upbeat instead of slow ones. But it also depends on what you're doing though. Sing along if you can, or lipsync if your singing ability is not better than mine.
Take some intermezzo. Writing a blog entry like what I am doing now, for example...
Try to 'strategize' in finishing your work. What I mean here is that as you are the only person knowing what you're good and bad at, you can decide what to do at certain time/place frame. Did I confuse you? OK, I'll just give you an example.
For me, things I can do most at night is typing the report. There is more "physical work" than "brain work" here. The next is coding.
So, definitely I'll leave the textbook and lecture notes reading to 'daylight activities". As for me, I need a very high concentration in reading and grappling the contents. It's a no-no for night routine, or I'll waste my time trying to understand something at a "wrong time".
So, when you know what task you can do best at certain time, just try to fit in into that.
Drink and go to washroom as often as you may wish.. you need some 'movements' anywhere.
Take your regular dose of Brand's Chicken essence twice a week (as more than that would mean shaving off my bank account).
Things to do during the daylight:
take vitamin C each day
take a short nap if possible, even if it's only for 20 minutes.
And last thing:
make sure you have at least one night in a week that you can have a good and sufficient sleep.
OK, so here are some tips for you. Hmm where should I start...
You'll definitely be very sleepy. Try to motivate yourself, telling that if you work hard tonight you will get a better day tomorrow though this fact is not always true. Life is cruel sometimes, my friend...
Blast some music, depending on your mood. Normally you need something a bit more upbeat instead of slow ones. But it also depends on what you're doing though. Sing along if you can, or lipsync if your singing ability is not better than mine.
Take some intermezzo. Writing a blog entry like what I am doing now, for example...
Try to 'strategize' in finishing your work. What I mean here is that as you are the only person knowing what you're good and bad at, you can decide what to do at certain time/place frame. Did I confuse you? OK, I'll just give you an example.
For me, things I can do most at night is typing the report. There is more "physical work" than "brain work" here. The next is coding.
So, definitely I'll leave the textbook and lecture notes reading to 'daylight activities". As for me, I need a very high concentration in reading and grappling the contents. It's a no-no for night routine, or I'll waste my time trying to understand something at a "wrong time".
So, when you know what task you can do best at certain time, just try to fit in into that.
Drink and go to washroom as often as you may wish.. you need some 'movements' anywhere.
Take your regular dose of Brand's Chicken essence twice a week (as more than that would mean shaving off my bank account).
Things to do during the daylight:
take vitamin C each day
take a short nap if possible, even if it's only for 20 minutes.
And last thing:
make sure you have at least one night in a week that you can have a good and sufficient sleep.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
answering one comment...
Referring to Flo's comment on my previous post, I guess it is more appropriate if I answer here (erm sekalian curhat kali ya).
Honestly, if I am asked: "Which one do you prefer, working or studying?"
Without hesitating, my answer is to study.
Working might be more relax, but if you have had three years of feeling like a wrong peg in a wrong hole, you get what I mean. You become restless and your mind always wanders around, trying to find a niche to fit in.
Now, at least, I know I am in the right "place" but might not be the right program =).
Hmm but actually the program itself is OK. It's not anyone's fault that I am not really interested in Optimization but have to take it anyway.
So, some are OK, quite enjoyable but some others just torture me. I guess that's normal. The world is not only yours anyway.
I really seldom go out recently that going out would bud guilty feeling within me. It's not good? Staying at home constantly, reading and working and coding can be damn boring at times. But, what to say, c'est la vie.
The maid in this house has even asked me few times "Actually do you sleep? Sometimes when I already woke up you are still wandering around the house"
So. Hopefully I can still stay in sanity.
Flo, do you actually dream about your work? Hahaha I often had to wake up though my sleep was still very little because I dreamt that:
- a friend told me that I missed out some points in my PDE report and in my sleep I tried to convinced myself that her argument is wrong. Even until I woke up I still thought of that
- the TA told me that I did very badly, my report was disappointing and I got the excruciatingly lowest grade in class though I've spent more time than others
- this morning, the velocity and distance function (Eikonal) HAUNTED me.. really... it's crazy. I even felt compelled to start work immediately after woke up THOUGH my bladder almost exploded...
- etc...
Am I still sane?
Honestly, if I am asked: "Which one do you prefer, working or studying?"
Without hesitating, my answer is to study.
Working might be more relax, but if you have had three years of feeling like a wrong peg in a wrong hole, you get what I mean. You become restless and your mind always wanders around, trying to find a niche to fit in.
Now, at least, I know I am in the right "place" but might not be the right program =).
Hmm but actually the program itself is OK. It's not anyone's fault that I am not really interested in Optimization but have to take it anyway.
So, some are OK, quite enjoyable but some others just torture me. I guess that's normal. The world is not only yours anyway.
I really seldom go out recently that going out would bud guilty feeling within me. It's not good? Staying at home constantly, reading and working and coding can be damn boring at times. But, what to say, c'est la vie.
The maid in this house has even asked me few times "Actually do you sleep? Sometimes when I already woke up you are still wandering around the house"
So. Hopefully I can still stay in sanity.
Flo, do you actually dream about your work? Hahaha I often had to wake up though my sleep was still very little because I dreamt that:
- a friend told me that I missed out some points in my PDE report and in my sleep I tried to convinced myself that her argument is wrong. Even until I woke up I still thought of that
- the TA told me that I did very badly, my report was disappointing and I got the excruciatingly lowest grade in class though I've spent more time than others
- this morning, the velocity and distance function (Eikonal) HAUNTED me.. really... it's crazy. I even felt compelled to start work immediately after woke up THOUGH my bladder almost exploded...
- etc...
Am I still sane?
Monday, October 16, 2006
tired of...
I am tired of not being able to have a proper and peaceful sleep
I am tired of not being able to take a nap
I am tired of always worrying about homeworks and assignments
I am tired of having my heart beats 10x faster than normal everytime lecture time
I am tired of not being able to concentrate because I don't have enough sleep
I am tired of not being able to concentrate during mass in church
I am tired of having weird dreams
I am tired of having mind calculation about the deadlines
I am tired of having my heart sommersaulting everytime I check school e-mails and the subject webpage. Anything new may mean homework.
I am C R A V I N G F O R A H U G E N I C E B O W L O F I C E C R E A M
preferrably Haagen Dazs
PS: the haze in Singapore is terribly bad now.. Really really bad. What did Indo do actually? Climate changes, it's now hotter than ever..
I am tired of not being able to take a nap
I am tired of always worrying about homeworks and assignments
I am tired of having my heart beats 10x faster than normal everytime lecture time
I am tired of not being able to concentrate because I don't have enough sleep
I am tired of not being able to concentrate during mass in church
I am tired of having weird dreams
I am tired of having mind calculation about the deadlines
I am tired of having my heart sommersaulting everytime I check school e-mails and the subject webpage. Anything new may mean homework.
I am C R A V I N G F O R A H U G E N I C E B O W L O F I C E C R E A M
preferrably Haagen Dazs
PS: the haze in Singapore is terribly bad now.. Really really bad. What did Indo do actually? Climate changes, it's now hotter than ever..
Saturday, October 14, 2006
A day in a word or two
Saturday, 14 October 2006
00.00 am -- still deriving equations for my PDE assignment
01.00 am -- start coding in MATLAB
03.00 am -- start with report for question 1,writing typing all the equations and their nitty-gritty derivation (only three pages but took bloody long time)
04.20 am -- start getting sleepy, fought to stay awake
04.44 am -- decided to sleep, after the last equation was neatly typed
-- SLEEP... zzzzzzzz --
09.45 am -- decided to wake up (not bad, 5 hours sleep) after kept on dreaming that I derived one of the soliton equation wrongly and it went haywire when run
-- Breakfast, listen to radio, coffee, novel, cold shower, reply SMS-es --
11.00 am -- summon all my soul to start working on my laptop
11.30 am -- still web browsing and blog walking. Then REALLY start to work on my MATLAB
12.20 pm -- The moment of the week. Finally I got the matrix that I have been waiting for, discussing about, dreaming over, for days. Sheer luck, perhaps. As when I really put all my heart and soul to get it, all I got was "almost there". This morning, when I didn't pressurize myself to get it, it just came. Really, like fated (apa seeehh??)
12.30 pm -- lunch
01.00 pm -- wrapped up my Numerical Simulation assignment, having found that long awaited matrix
01.30 pm -- felt rather sleepy, decided to take a nap
02.00 pm -- still couldn't sleep, with the jumble of solitons and optimization on my poor mind
02.20 pm -- jumped out the bed (so NO nap) as I suddenly remember I did one typo in my Numerical Simulation report
02.30 pm -- Started reading Optimization lecture notes
03.00 pm -- EXTREMELY HUNGRY, and bored to death with any kind of biscuits that I have
03.30 pm -- decided to go to Jurong East library, get changed and get ready
04.00 pm -- already in library (Cafe Galilee to be exact)
06.30 pm -- the 'library session' was concluded with one curry puff, one Vanilla Frappe with ice cream, one Cafe Latte, one Fish and Chips and two chapters of Optimization textbook.
Went up to the borrowing section, contemplating to borrow a new novel but decided otherwise
Called my sister to fix a lunch date tomorrow (after she protested as I cancelled our Friday lunch. She said "but I've postponed my drama club meeting..." oh well, what to do, my homework came first). Guilt-ridden, so tomorrow it is. Seah Street Deli, my fave and so near to Cathedral.
Went to Popular bookstore and bought some stationery.
07.30 pm -- waiting for the bus
08.00 pm -- took shower etc
08.30 pm -- read Optimization again
09.00 pm -- played Les Miserabes CD on my laptop. Only watched for some songs, the rest of it was just audio to me.
An SMS came in, invitation for Dim Sum tomorrow morning. Changed my Sunday mass schedule and called my sister to change the time (yes she was also invited, of course)
00.00 pm -- still reading Optimization, trying to really grab the concept of something that I have been only vaguely clear about
So that's Saturday for me. Tomorrow I have to be in Cathedral at 8 am and yet I can't sleep before 3 now, seems like.
OK, I'll go to sleep now. How's your Saturdays? Anything interesting?
00.00 am -- still deriving equations for my PDE assignment
01.00 am -- start coding in MATLAB
03.00 am -- start with report for question 1,
04.20 am -- start getting sleepy, fought to stay awake
04.44 am -- decided to sleep, after the last equation was neatly typed
-- SLEEP... zzzzzzzz --
09.45 am -- decided to wake up (not bad, 5 hours sleep) after kept on dreaming that I derived one of the soliton equation wrongly and it went haywire when run
-- Breakfast, listen to radio, coffee, novel, cold shower, reply SMS-es --
11.00 am -- summon all my soul to start working on my laptop
11.30 am -- still web browsing and blog walking. Then REALLY start to work on my MATLAB
12.20 pm -- The moment of the week. Finally I got the matrix that I have been waiting for, discussing about, dreaming over, for days. Sheer luck, perhaps. As when I really put all my heart and soul to get it, all I got was "almost there". This morning, when I didn't pressurize myself to get it, it just came. Really, like fated (apa seeehh??)
12.30 pm -- lunch
01.00 pm -- wrapped up my Numerical Simulation assignment, having found that long awaited matrix
01.30 pm -- felt rather sleepy, decided to take a nap
02.00 pm -- still couldn't sleep, with the jumble of solitons and optimization on my poor mind
02.20 pm -- jumped out the bed (so NO nap) as I suddenly remember I did one typo in my Numerical Simulation report
02.30 pm -- Started reading Optimization lecture notes
03.00 pm -- EXTREMELY HUNGRY, and bored to death with any kind of biscuits that I have
03.30 pm -- decided to go to Jurong East library, get changed and get ready
04.00 pm -- already in library (Cafe Galilee to be exact)
06.30 pm -- the 'library session' was concluded with one curry puff, one Vanilla Frappe with ice cream, one Cafe Latte, one Fish and Chips and two chapters of Optimization textbook.
Went up to the borrowing section, contemplating to borrow a new novel but decided otherwise
Called my sister to fix a lunch date tomorrow (after she protested as I cancelled our Friday lunch. She said "but I've postponed my drama club meeting..." oh well, what to do, my homework came first). Guilt-ridden, so tomorrow it is. Seah Street Deli, my fave and so near to Cathedral.
Went to Popular bookstore and bought some stationery.
07.30 pm -- waiting for the bus
08.00 pm -- took shower etc
08.30 pm -- read Optimization again
09.00 pm -- played Les Miserabes CD on my laptop. Only watched for some songs, the rest of it was just audio to me.
An SMS came in, invitation for Dim Sum tomorrow morning. Changed my Sunday mass schedule and called my sister to change the time (yes she was also invited, of course)
00.00 pm -- still reading Optimization, trying to really grab the concept of something that I have been only vaguely clear about
So that's Saturday for me. Tomorrow I have to be in Cathedral at 8 am and yet I can't sleep before 3 now, seems like.
OK, I'll go to sleep now. How's your Saturdays? Anything interesting?
Friday, October 13, 2006
Our latest theory - about EQ and IQ
There are a lot of smart people in the world. But honestly, the term 'smart' here can be interpreted plurally.
Those who always ace their grade.
Those who always come to the top.
Those who win any competition/olympics.
Those who are just born smart (hehe difficult to explain but surely you have seen some)
But, in my humble opinion, there is a thin line between book smart and smart.
By 'book smart', they can be easily identified as those who work sooo hard, swallow all the book contents and ace the class.
By 'smart', it refers to those who are so fortunate to be fast, fluid, good absorbent and won't waver when their creativity is challenged.
None is better than the other. Not all human being were born genius (not even close). 'Book smart' people can counter it by their hardwork, which deserves a thumbs-up.
The 'smart' ones, when being indolent, won't progress much either.
But the problem is, no matter which category they are from, some of smart people are soooo arrogant. Aloof. Or weird. Or ridiculous. Or inhuman. Or allienized. Some even have attitude problem.
So here's a theory conjured by six CE students:
EQ and IQ are orthogonal to each other. They are completely linearly independent and when combined, their inner product is zero.
But hey, some smart people are really pleasant, human and amiable.
So here is my appendix - second theorem:
Some smart people can "come down" from their Krylov subspace and lose that orthogonality in x-space -- human world i.e. where we are (or at least where I am).
Actually I often wonder, why are they soooo arrogant? Helplessly, ridiculously arrogant? What for? It's ok if they only look down on us. Well, who are we? Indeed we are lagging sooo much behind compared to them. But being arrogant and looking down to the professor? MIT professors to put on more emphasis? Who do they think they are?
How can you stand some people whom when you ask some questions, the answer was "This one you should know."
'That person' can't even think a simple logic: If I know, why do I ask?
Oh, some people...
Those who always ace their grade.
Those who always come to the top.
Those who win any competition/olympics.
Those who are just born smart (hehe difficult to explain but surely you have seen some)
But, in my humble opinion, there is a thin line between book smart and smart.
By 'book smart', they can be easily identified as those who work sooo hard, swallow all the book contents and ace the class.
By 'smart', it refers to those who are so fortunate to be fast, fluid, good absorbent and won't waver when their creativity is challenged.
None is better than the other. Not all human being were born genius (not even close). 'Book smart' people can counter it by their hardwork, which deserves a thumbs-up.
The 'smart' ones, when being indolent, won't progress much either.
But the problem is, no matter which category they are from, some of smart people are soooo arrogant. Aloof. Or weird. Or ridiculous. Or inhuman. Or allienized. Some even have attitude problem.
So here's a theory conjured by six CE students:
EQ and IQ are orthogonal to each other. They are completely linearly independent and when combined, their inner product is zero.
But hey, some smart people are really pleasant, human and amiable.
So here is my appendix - second theorem:
Some smart people can "come down" from their Krylov subspace and lose that orthogonality in x-space -- human world i.e. where we are (or at least where I am).
Actually I often wonder, why are they soooo arrogant? Helplessly, ridiculously arrogant? What for? It's ok if they only look down on us. Well, who are we? Indeed we are lagging sooo much behind compared to them. But being arrogant and looking down to the professor? MIT professors to put on more emphasis? Who do they think they are?
How can you stand some people whom when you ask some questions, the answer was "This one you should know."
'That person' can't even think a simple logic: If I know, why do I ask?
Oh, some people...
Adorable?
Is... oops wasn't he OH-SO-ADORABLE?
And Gosh... he is so much more photogenic than I am..
This picture is so precious, he was usually camera-shy and always blink his eyes whenever the flash is out.
I do wonder how he felt and what he thought (if a dog can ever think) when the car hit him. When he struggled for the dear life. When fate decided otherwise.
This boy is timid and so sweet. Hopefully nobody bullies him 'up there'. 'Down here', it just won't be the same anymore.
(In memoriam: Boxy 29 September 2006)
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Boredom
I am bored in a way you can never imagine. It's the kind of boredom that's unsurpassable with anything.
I am so bored and saturated that I can't study anymore.
Yet, when I tried to distract myself on something else, I got sooo stressed up knowing that I actually should do something.
I can't read any notes. My eyes and brain just refuse.
I can't do any report. All's shut up.
I don't know what to do and my head feels so heated up.
I wish I can open my head up, put my brain in a cold shower and study again...
I am so bored and saturated that I can't study anymore.
Yet, when I tried to distract myself on something else, I got sooo stressed up knowing that I actually should do something.
I can't read any notes. My eyes and brain just refuse.
I can't do any report. All's shut up.
I don't know what to do and my head feels so heated up.
I wish I can open my head up, put my brain in a cold shower and study again...
Saturday, October 07, 2006
I just want to do my best
I know I only have this much to offer,
this capacity to absorb things they teach,
this knowledge to precede my study,
this intelligence to get things right,
this saturation limit to stick to homework and study,
lack of brilliance to utter something impressive,
lack of swift to detect faults in lectures,
lack of intuition in solving problems...
But all this while I know,
Giving up is at the bottom list of my dictionary,
Surrender is only for losers,
Determination is the key,
Unlocking my OWN personal paradise,
realm of knowledge, enjoyment and satisfaction
This is not my first struggle
And I have conquered the rest
If this is my next share
Come, I'll take it
Come, I'll do it
Come, I'll finish it
As these are all I have.
Determination, Samurai spirit and faith.
I don't know what the outcome would be.
There is no time to think, no time to ponder.
Just step your feet ahead and continue walking.
As stopping is only for faint-hearted.
And stepping back is only for loser.
I just want to know,
at the end of the day I could say:
I did it. Again.
I don't always expect a triumphant cheers nor victorious crown.
It's my own fear I want to conquer.
I just want to do my best.
This is where I stand, until HE moves me on.
this capacity to absorb things they teach,
this knowledge to precede my study,
this intelligence to get things right,
this saturation limit to stick to homework and study,
lack of brilliance to utter something impressive,
lack of swift to detect faults in lectures,
lack of intuition in solving problems...
But all this while I know,
Giving up is at the bottom list of my dictionary,
Surrender is only for losers,
Determination is the key,
Unlocking my OWN personal paradise,
realm of knowledge, enjoyment and satisfaction
This is not my first struggle
And I have conquered the rest
If this is my next share
Come, I'll take it
Come, I'll do it
Come, I'll finish it
As these are all I have.
Determination, Samurai spirit and faith.
I don't know what the outcome would be.
There is no time to think, no time to ponder.
Just step your feet ahead and continue walking.
As stopping is only for faint-hearted.
And stepping back is only for loser.
I just want to know,
at the end of the day I could say:
I did it. Again.
I don't always expect a triumphant cheers nor victorious crown.
It's my own fear I want to conquer.
I just want to do my best.
This is where I stand, until HE moves me on.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Incubation, Saturation and...
Epiphany!!
Yohanes Surya is among the most prominent Professors in Physics in Indonesia. His contribution to Science and Physics are uncountable to the country. In his hand, few countrymen bagged medals from International Physics Olympic.
I met him only once (hmm 7 years ago?) but I secretly admire him (ouw). Hehe basically I always admire smart people. Smart people who are humble, 'human' and normal.
In the article that I linked above, he mentioned three stages of thinking as formulated by one physician named Helmholtz.
- Incubation
- Saturation
- Enlightenment
So indeed, after we reach rock bottom then we will find something. Indeed the 'saturation' stage is inevitable if we want to achieve something.
So don't ever give up, guys!! Especially those doing his/her PhD.
Actually, I am still looking for an article about him. I remember finding it once. About what? Hahaha don't laugh, but I remember he mentioned in one of interviews about his secret in being able to live healthily and in top form though he sleeps only 3 hours everyday. Was it some fruit juice concoction? I think I need it...
Time to sleep now. It's 4.30 am now. My fault. I drank coffee at midnight (third cup for yesterday), thinking I would need the caffeine to finish my code. I did finish, I know I should continue with the report straight away but... too lazy. Tired. BORED. But I had not been sleepy yet.
That's why you see some posting tonight...
Catch up again with you guys, some other day...
Yohanes Surya is among the most prominent Professors in Physics in Indonesia. His contribution to Science and Physics are uncountable to the country. In his hand, few countrymen bagged medals from International Physics Olympic.
I met him only once (hmm 7 years ago?) but I secretly admire him (ouw). Hehe basically I always admire smart people. Smart people who are humble, 'human' and normal.
In the article that I linked above, he mentioned three stages of thinking as formulated by one physician named Helmholtz.
- Incubation
- Saturation
- Enlightenment
So indeed, after we reach rock bottom then we will find something. Indeed the 'saturation' stage is inevitable if we want to achieve something.
So don't ever give up, guys!! Especially those doing his/her PhD.
Actually, I am still looking for an article about him. I remember finding it once. About what? Hahaha don't laugh, but I remember he mentioned in one of interviews about his secret in being able to live healthily and in top form though he sleeps only 3 hours everyday. Was it some fruit juice concoction? I think I need it...
Time to sleep now. It's 4.30 am now. My fault. I drank coffee at midnight (third cup for yesterday), thinking I would need the caffeine to finish my code. I did finish, I know I should continue with the report straight away but... too lazy. Tired. BORED. But I had not been sleepy yet.
That's why you see some posting tonight...
Catch up again with you guys, some other day...
matrix? matric?
One of our 'party of five' member invited us for a birthday lunch next Monday. It is a place where students would get discount.
So in the invitation e-mail he wrote "don't forget to bring your matrix card."
Matrix? Hahaha you've work too much, JC! Too many matrices to work on and to type for reports? (It should be 'matric')
It reminds me of the days of my FYP. My project was in Robotics Research Center, NTU and one of my close friend also did her project there. We were under the same supervisor. Along the way, we built up friendship (a very good one) with other students who worked in the same clusters. All were under the supervisory of Francis.
He is known as the most demanding supervisor in NTU-MPE (now MAE). He could flip my heart upside down with his big cheery British grin and acclaim "hey, finish this by next Tuesday! I want you to join the exhibition". Gubrak!!!! It was only few days away for my goodness sake, and inspiration had not struck me by then. And FEW codes were still untouched.
So, as the victims of the same predators, often we had to stay in RRC until late night to finish whatever he asked for (bargain was not in his dictionary). Even on 24 Dec and the day just before Chinese New Year. We started creating our own language. One that I remember was we swap "iterating" and "irritating". Don't ask me why. I guess it's just because we used them so often.
So when we conversed (inside or outside lab) using our own invented languages, usually people stared at us "are they mad? or simply english illiterate?"
It actually amused us even more...
I miss those days...
So in the invitation e-mail he wrote "don't forget to bring your matrix card."
Matrix? Hahaha you've work too much, JC! Too many matrices to work on and to type for reports? (It should be 'matric')
It reminds me of the days of my FYP. My project was in Robotics Research Center, NTU and one of my close friend also did her project there. We were under the same supervisor. Along the way, we built up friendship (a very good one) with other students who worked in the same clusters. All were under the supervisory of Francis.
He is known as the most demanding supervisor in NTU-MPE (now MAE). He could flip my heart upside down with his big cheery British grin and acclaim "hey, finish this by next Tuesday! I want you to join the exhibition". Gubrak!!!! It was only few days away for my goodness sake, and inspiration had not struck me by then. And FEW codes were still untouched.
So, as the victims of the same predators, often we had to stay in RRC until late night to finish whatever he asked for (bargain was not in his dictionary). Even on 24 Dec and the day just before Chinese New Year. We started creating our own language. One that I remember was we swap "iterating" and "irritating". Don't ask me why. I guess it's just because we used them so often.
So when we conversed (inside or outside lab) using our own invented languages, usually people stared at us "are they mad? or simply english illiterate?"
It actually amused us even more...
I miss those days...
Budding authors
Some of us joked the previous day during dinner at school. By the end of this program, some of us can start writing a chapter about:
- compilation of all Linear Algebra proof and his other works exuding high level of intelligence
- compilation of all reports and tips on how to make a 'report that is like a thesis'
- all the complains one has thrown throughout the year (yes, one of us is a great complain-er)
- how to cram homeworks in last minutes
- how to keep a long distance relationship over all the workload
- how to keep smiling no matter how much homeworks are awaiting
- how to maximize and optimize the time spent with girlfriend
- how to drive back home at 11 pm everyday safely
- how to live in Singapore but follow US time (one of us did 'stay overnight' in atheneaum and only comes back in the morning for proper sleep)
One person may account for one topic and we will compile it to a book named
"Survival Guide for SMA-CE students"
And yeah, perhaps we'll generate megabucks without really working on simulation, optimization, PDE etc. Hahaha good idea, eh?
- compilation of all Linear Algebra proof and his other works exuding high level of intelligence
- compilation of all reports and tips on how to make a 'report that is like a thesis'
- all the complains one has thrown throughout the year (yes, one of us is a great complain-er)
- how to cram homeworks in last minutes
- how to keep a long distance relationship over all the workload
- how to keep smiling no matter how much homeworks are awaiting
- how to maximize and optimize the time spent with girlfriend
- how to drive back home at 11 pm everyday safely
- how to live in Singapore but follow US time (one of us did 'stay overnight' in atheneaum and only comes back in the morning for proper sleep)
One person may account for one topic and we will compile it to a book named
"Survival Guide for SMA-CE students"
And yeah, perhaps we'll generate megabucks without really working on simulation, optimization, PDE etc. Hahaha good idea, eh?
Long Weekend!!!
Yaaaayyy!!!
Finally, we have 5 days holiday! Really what I need. Next Monday and Tuesday (9 and 10 Oct) are Columbus Day holiday in US. Thanks God for what happened in 1492!!
Days have been busy. And stressful. I spend less and less time in atheneaum now. It's very different from previous term where I spend almost 7 days a week, morning to night in atheneaum.
Now, I prefer cramming at home. My room is very messy, all kind of lecture notes, rough papers and textbooks are everywhere hahaha =D There's no point of tidying them up since at the end of the day it will be a mess again.
My body clock is getting more and more weird.
Finally I got the results for my previous term's subjects. Phew. I passed all!! And it's really beyond my expectation. I am so pleased =) Either they counted wrongly, took the wrong exam answers or it's just sheer fruit of my labour. All in all, I am delighted =)
But yeah, the battle is still far ahead. This semester is definitely much tougher. When I say the assignments are endless, it's literal. This week, three are due and one is on going. By the end of this week, another 4 are out.
Bleeehh.. I thought I could at least take a break during this long weekend.
Finally, we have 5 days holiday! Really what I need. Next Monday and Tuesday (9 and 10 Oct) are Columbus Day holiday in US. Thanks God for what happened in 1492!!
Days have been busy. And stressful. I spend less and less time in atheneaum now. It's very different from previous term where I spend almost 7 days a week, morning to night in atheneaum.
Now, I prefer cramming at home. My room is very messy, all kind of lecture notes, rough papers and textbooks are everywhere hahaha =D There's no point of tidying them up since at the end of the day it will be a mess again.
My body clock is getting more and more weird.
Finally I got the results for my previous term's subjects. Phew. I passed all!! And it's really beyond my expectation. I am so pleased =) Either they counted wrongly, took the wrong exam answers or it's just sheer fruit of my labour. All in all, I am delighted =)
But yeah, the battle is still far ahead. This semester is definitely much tougher. When I say the assignments are endless, it's literal. This week, three are due and one is on going. By the end of this week, another 4 are out.
Bleeehh.. I thought I could at least take a break during this long weekend.
bimbo
Somebody just called another body 'bimbo' in front of people who are actually not so close with that 'other body'.
Isn't it very rude?
I mean, if somebody called me bimbo in front of people, I'll be very annoyed and may just whack him upside down.
But he just asked around "Don't you think she is like a bimbo?"
In front of her. Even I, not the one he was referring to, was annoyed.
And the girl just hit him playfully.
I can't understand people.
Isn't it very rude?
I mean, if somebody called me bimbo in front of people, I'll be very annoyed and may just whack him upside down.
But he just asked around "Don't you think she is like a bimbo?"
In front of her. Even I, not the one he was referring to, was annoyed.
And the girl just hit him playfully.
I can't understand people.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Non Dimenticar
It means "Don't forget you are my darling"
Haha it just happens to be the song I am listening to from my MP3. It has nothing to do with what I am going to post though. And um, yeah I know my music taste is 'ancient'.
In the whole last three days (not on each of them), I had only stepped out of the house for less than half an hour. No, I am not in a confinement. At least not the one with 'childbirth'.
Some people say my life has been pathetic. Is it? Well, if you see in present's context, I guess so. But to console myself, I always 'try' to think what I would gain in the future, after my struggles, pains, sweat, blood and tears. Blood? Of course. MIT requested for so many jabs. And we have to pay ourselves. Bleh.
What did I do at home? Assignments. Non stop. Bleh. My laptop is the 'first thing in the morning'. Yeah even my toothbrush has to wait (not so long, don't worry).
I'll be a great and unprofessional liar if I say I gladly accept this situation. I started tracing back my previous plans. How if I went to UNSW instead? I might be sandboarding in Port Stephen now wuakakakkakaka =D. Or Cambridge? What if? Yeah, the cliché question. Human. Not easy to please. Though I know if I am not here, I'll be questioning myself "how is it going to be if I am in MIT?".
I must say grace for the privilege I have here. You get the knowledge first-hand. From the textbook author himself. From the person who developed the software himself. From the person that conjured the theory himself.
With it, comes the concommitant burden, stress and greatest of all is pressure. Please bear with my blabbering here. 3-days being confined in front of laptop and oceans of lecture notes and text books, I do need some 'human connection'. Here, to say the least.
Frankly speaking, it is not my busiest day. The work in queue might not be the max. NTU second year first semester -- it may ring a bell to some NTU-AMP-MPE 2003 students. Those who are with me, I believe you remember. That dreadful semester. Ouch. Our horrible encounter with M405 (yeah it was a final year subject -- supposedly). We still cringed hearing/reading 405 I believe, in any context. Well, at least I still. And the thermo exam (for mechatronics and design students only). The only time I saw tears in exam hall. Not singular. Not female. Banging of file folders. Kicking the lift door (not me).
My other terribly hectic period was in September 2004. I wasn't a student anymore by then, but my work and all activities I happened to be involved in were all at peaks. It was the most "obvious" ones. Believe it or not, I got more than 10 mouth ulcers on one surface at one go. Even the doctor was terribly shocked. I was at home only to sleep by then. Came back and left, both when nobody else was awake sometimes.
Another time, of course, final year - Santa Ursula high school. I still wonder UNTIL NOW how did I manage to pass those period. That's the time when you didn't count the hours you slept. A little tips: apply some mentholatum below your eyes (like when you do with eye gel). It will keep you awake in class. I did that everyday. Especially in Math class. You are not even allowed to lower your head. She'll say you're looking at your watch which implies that you can't wait the class to get over. You'll end up standing in front of the auditorium hall -- it's a punishment.
The pressure here is greater. Some have the relevant background. It's piece of cake for them. For the under-privilege like me (all are soooooooooooo new), the pressure is just enormous. Not only you have to finish HEAPS of assignments (and type all those matrices, equations.. type!! bleh. so time consuming), you still have to catch up. And be pressurized.
So another tips: if you are not familiar with linear algebra, PDE and you don't code in MATLAB like you write with your hand, think twice, thrice if you want to go to Computational Engineering.
OK OK time to sleep. I am damn tired now. It feels good to write. Just don't complain that it's all complain hahaha
Haha it just happens to be the song I am listening to from my MP3. It has nothing to do with what I am going to post though. And um, yeah I know my music taste is 'ancient'.
In the whole last three days (not on each of them), I had only stepped out of the house for less than half an hour. No, I am not in a confinement. At least not the one with 'childbirth'.
Some people say my life has been pathetic. Is it? Well, if you see in present's context, I guess so. But to console myself, I always 'try' to think what I would gain in the future, after my struggles, pains, sweat, blood and tears. Blood? Of course. MIT requested for so many jabs. And we have to pay ourselves. Bleh.
What did I do at home? Assignments. Non stop. Bleh. My laptop is the 'first thing in the morning'. Yeah even my toothbrush has to wait (not so long, don't worry).
I'll be a great and unprofessional liar if I say I gladly accept this situation. I started tracing back my previous plans. How if I went to UNSW instead? I might be sandboarding in Port Stephen now wuakakakkakaka =D. Or Cambridge? What if? Yeah, the cliché question. Human. Not easy to please. Though I know if I am not here, I'll be questioning myself "how is it going to be if I am in MIT?".
I must say grace for the privilege I have here. You get the knowledge first-hand. From the textbook author himself. From the person who developed the software himself. From the person that conjured the theory himself.
With it, comes the concommitant burden, stress and greatest of all is pressure. Please bear with my blabbering here. 3-days being confined in front of laptop and oceans of lecture notes and text books, I do need some 'human connection'. Here, to say the least.
Frankly speaking, it is not my busiest day. The work in queue might not be the max. NTU second year first semester -- it may ring a bell to some NTU-AMP-MPE 2003 students. Those who are with me, I believe you remember. That dreadful semester. Ouch. Our horrible encounter with M405 (yeah it was a final year subject -- supposedly). We still cringed hearing/reading 405 I believe, in any context. Well, at least I still. And the thermo exam (for mechatronics and design students only). The only time I saw tears in exam hall. Not singular. Not female. Banging of file folders. Kicking the lift door (not me).
My other terribly hectic period was in September 2004. I wasn't a student anymore by then, but my work and all activities I happened to be involved in were all at peaks. It was the most "obvious" ones. Believe it or not, I got more than 10 mouth ulcers on one surface at one go. Even the doctor was terribly shocked. I was at home only to sleep by then. Came back and left, both when nobody else was awake sometimes.
Another time, of course, final year - Santa Ursula high school. I still wonder UNTIL NOW how did I manage to pass those period. That's the time when you didn't count the hours you slept. A little tips: apply some mentholatum below your eyes (like when you do with eye gel). It will keep you awake in class. I did that everyday. Especially in Math class. You are not even allowed to lower your head. She'll say you're looking at your watch which implies that you can't wait the class to get over. You'll end up standing in front of the auditorium hall -- it's a punishment.
The pressure here is greater. Some have the relevant background. It's piece of cake for them. For the under-privilege like me (all are soooooooooooo new), the pressure is just enormous. Not only you have to finish HEAPS of assignments (and type all those matrices, equations.. type!! bleh. so time consuming), you still have to catch up. And be pressurized.
So another tips: if you are not familiar with linear algebra, PDE and you don't code in MATLAB like you write with your hand, think twice, thrice if you want to go to Computational Engineering.
OK OK time to sleep. I am damn tired now. It feels good to write. Just don't complain that it's all complain hahaha
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