Cicak Gaya...

Tulisan gua kali ini bisa dikategorikan sebagai pengakuan dosa kali. Di negeri yang mendewa-dewakan kebersihan ini, kemaren gua buang sampah dari lantai 15 block tempat gua tinggal.

Asal-muasal tindakan laknat ini (i.e. buang sampah sembarangan) adalah cuma gara-gara seekor cicak penuh gaya.

Kemaren di dapur, gua ngeliat cicak. Untungnya sih dia ga kelayapan di daerah-daerah yang makanannya terbuka. Nah reptil yang satu ini tuh genit banget. Sok gaya gitu. Dia pikir dia bisa ngibulin gua jadi pajangan kali yah. Doooh, ngaca dong.. ngaca... ngapain majang cicak ya gak?

Akhirnya gua udah ga tau mau diapain sebenernya tuh cicak. Bisa nemplok gitu bak fotomodel siap dipotret. Freeze... Terus pas di sodok pake sedotan bekas, dia maju trus diem lagi... gaya lagi!!! Masya rakaaaat... gitu terus sampe akhirnya gua jadi kayak ikutan play his game gitu. Sodok-maju-gaya. Sodok-maju-gaya. (Gua gak ikut gaya, cicaknya doank). Gak asyik banget sih.

Akhirnya gua grab aja tuh cicak gaya pake tissue. Pas gua pegang juga geleper-geleper gitu, jadi kan mesti langsung cepet-cepet gua buang daripada ntar dia gaya di tangan gua, ya gak?? Maklum di lantai 15, tiadalah itu yang namanya kebon atau tempat terbuka di depan rumah. Jadi satu-satunya "penghubung" antara gua dan alam sekitar ya jendela belakang.

Gak sengaja gua buang tuh cicak gaya bersama tissue-nya (maksud hati buang cicaknya aja). Ya ampun ternyata yang gua buang cuma ekornya doank. Si cicak gaya berhasil menggeliat dari cengkeraman jari lentik gua dan nangkring di lantai dapur. Untungnya belom sempet keliaran lagi....

Dan... yak, sodara-sodara seperti kalian juga pasti dapat menebak... dia lagi gaya!!! Gak lupa kalo sama yang satu itu. Gua sodok lagi. Dan yah terulang lagi lah sodok-maju-gaya itu. Gila mungkin dia tunggu gua potret baru berhenti gaya kali ya.

Akhirnya gua grab lagi dengan lebih "tega" cengkerem body-nya. Masih meliuk-liuk sok langsing gitu. Dan gua buang lagi dari tempat yang sama... tissue nya kebuang lagi.

Jadi, rangkuman dari pengakuan dosa gua adalah gua membuang sembarangan 2 helai tissue dapur, kepala + body cicak gaya dan ekor cicak gaya.

Makanya gua tulis pake bahasa Indo neh, in case ada HDB officer yang baca. Tapi kalo dia Malay by race and language sih sami mawon donk yah...

Kesimpulannya, jauh lebih gampang nangkep kecoa daripada nangkep cicak, karena:
1. Kecoa tidak sok gaya
2. Kecoa tidak meliuk-liuk sok langsing
3. Kecoa tidak bisa melepas ekornya (punya gak sih?)

Brethrens in Foreign Land

Being far from home, we as social human beings will always try to create a new bond in the new (foreign) place. The closest to a family, perhaps. It may be considered as the natural instinct of survival. It becomes more prominent when we live in a struggling condition, a rocky and stony paths instead of a paradise. Friends are people who will always be around. They can be our pillars. With them we share both joy and sorrow. We, the fragile and the vulnerable, can unimaginably be the source of strength for others, in ways we would never know.

Six years ago, the tiny hills and valleys in NTU welcomed me to be one of its residents. It was my first time to be permanently away from my family. I was not scared, I was not worried, but there’s something missing in the daily cycle of my life. You were physically detached from your family. Surely it would have certain degree of impact into your life.

Luckily, not only the hills and valleys were welcoming. Warm smiles were also there, offering friendship and... a family. We were bonded as brothers and sisters, though without blood ties. We were there for each birthday, each celebration, each post-exam euphoria, each Chinese New Year, each Christmas, each new year… And now the time has come for a farewell.

Today, we said our temporary goodbye to one of our dear friend who will pursue her higher study in another part of the globe. It was like a wake up call for each of us, to come and gather once again, just as what we used to have in our younger days.

We have now lived different lives, we have gone into different directions. Some have achieved their dreams, some are still searching, some are still studying. We are not just a bunch of foreign students anymore. Most of us have already settled down, have a good job and steady income.

How different it was back then. We were students in this foreign country, pocketing our own problems. Financial difficulties, relationship problem, problem in studying, etc. The list can go longer. We have similar worries, some identical fears. We held hands and united in prayers during exam period. We cheered for each success, we gave each other a pat on the back. We went crazy in post-exam euphoria. We panicked with each other for study problems, and tried to help as best as we could. We were definitely there when somebody brought some Indonesian food along. We found solace and peace in as simple as the presence of each other.

Some of us have now had a smooth path to the future. Some may still have uncertain path. Some wedding bells will be ringing. Somebody will start deserving a “Happy Father’s Day” greeting soon. Some additional degree will entail some names. Some might pursue other field of study. Some might start their own business. We don’t live in the same frequency anymore.

And yet, the bond that we had will always synchronize our hearts.

The BBQ pit in one condo seemed just like one of NTU hall’s common ground. We gossiped just as before. Splashes heard from the swimming pool sounded like Nanyang Lake/ Nanyang Pond. Our first reaction to hear the word “birthday” is to throw the person into the water (no, no it didn’t happen today). The gastronomical appetite doesn’t change. Those who were always to finish the food still do the same duty until today. The one who usually became our treasurer still count the money today. The one who was always bullied is “almost” to be one again today. The one who stood as our MC and confetti-popper today is the same person as before.

As simple as an exclamation “cieeeeehh…” (with our special intonation and context) can even bring back the memory. It seems years we don’t really say the word in our special way =P.

We have gone through a lot, in our own way, during these six to seven years. Some friends that I see today, I haven’t seen from years. I haven’t even heard any news from some.

The bond that ties, will always unite us. When we meet again, we feel like being trapped in a time-capsule and catapulted to our younger days. We are just brothers and sisters, who need each other. We might not do what we did last time and we might not help in the same way anymore, but definitely time will not dilute the bond that we had woven, the friendship that we had cultivated…

When the fallen darkness reminded us to call it a day, the condo is now just a condo. No more NTU hall, no more NTU trees, hills and valleys. 10 pm was the time we used to start back then, but now it is the time to start packing up…. May be we are just getting old =)

I do hope that we don’t need to wait for another farewell to have a gathering. Reunion is good you know, it will make you feel young. You can save away those dollars that you may splurge in antioxidants….

Thanks for being there, in the past, present and future!! I will surely wish you all the best, in each unique direction that you have decided or will decide to take.

God be with you all!!

Keep in touch, friends… and don’t forget to share the pictures =)

The fact is...

It's the "part two" of my previous musing...

The problem with me is, in my current job I don't have many chances to do what I like, things which I am good at...
My main agenda is still product design. =(

Sometimes, they can't see the significance of what I am doing. Product design engineers in general are more practical, more experimental and empirical.
They don't like numbers, which I like to deal with and always use in doing design justification/analysis/whatever...

I didn't mean that their appreciation of my work becomes the ultimate goal, but with they manouvering me to follow the way they do things, it deprives me from doing things which actually go along with my interest... and perhaps, strength.

That's why I actually want to look for the right niche for me to grow... so I hope both employee and employer can grow together...

Will it be good?? Or am I just being fussy and ungrateful? If you leave any comments, be it here or directly to me, I'll be more than thankful...

Be Remarkable

These few days we are required to go back and forth between Singapore-Johor Bahru (daily commuting) for the product build, where a hundred over printers are assembled within 5 days.

This afternoon while we were waiting for the End of Day Meeting, I was trapped in a multidirectional missile launching of brainstorm among few of my colleagues. Apparently, they were discussing about some part issues. In no time, different ideas, suggestions, advices flying and criss-crossing in the air surrounding me. Complete with the design and tooling jargons.

As you can guess, I just kept quiet and tried to digest the discussion which was going on. Never, ever, I was fast enough to come out with a thought. I felt like a spectator for tennis match. Right-left-right-left. (Not for marching)

Again, something crossed my mind. How do I actually survive in this industry by the way? Two years and few days are not a short period of time. In fact I could be kicked out anytime in between, but I have survived somehow. Even until now, I haven't got a good grip in looking into product design problems and respond to them instinctively. You will still see me frowning 'til my eyebrows almost joined together without any solutions coming out. It will, after quite some time... after few "A ha!!" heard from the surrounding.

May be it just proves one of my theory right, a theory which I adopted from a book by Seth Godin, PURPLE COW. In the book, he emphasized that to win the market, one needs to be remarkable. To be different.

Which is aligned with what I always believe. To be different, sometimes you don't need to be a swan among the ducks. Even being a duck among the swans can also make you positively remarkable.

May be that's what happens to me in my work now. Being the only Mechatronics graduate around, I have distinct advantages of being familiar with firmware codes, motor (although for this very topic my knowledge is actually nothing better than theirs), programming, algorithm, creating flowcharts.... Analysis and simulation are no strangers to me.

I might not be good in product design. But I am considerably OK in dealing with numbers, in mathematical operations, in analysis and simulation... areas which actually product design engineers don't need to excel in. This "OK" cathegory can be "good" for my fellow colleagues, just because they don't understand what I am doing, which is VERY normal since it was my field of study and not theirs.

That's whyyyy... in their eyes, they see me as a good engineer, some say bright (I didn't say it), have high potential (emang power source??), blablabla... Just because I've done something (around last year) which for them was impossible to do, but for me, it was just an implementation of what I've learned.

With this, the fact that I am not a good product design engineer becomes oblivious to them. It has proven the theory that even being a duck among swans, as long as you are different (positively), you can gather the spotlight around you.

So dudes, just be confident with what you have and BE REMARKABLE!!!!

PS: there's actually one drawback... everytime i confess to them that I don't feel suitable for this job, they always over-encourage me by saying "Of course you can!! Remember the simulation you did last year??? It was an achievement, you know....." Owalaaaaahhhh pusing deh

"You still shine..."

I have many thoughts recently; about life, about work, about career to occupy my mind almost fully.

Today, I went to St. Bernadette church to attend an Indonesian mass after missing for sooooo long. I feel like a come-back kid. "Rhea!! Ke mana aja? Udah lama gak keliatan..." (Rhea, where have you been, we haven't seen you for quite some time...)

It's good to meet many friends, to distract my mind from the lingering thoughts recently.

One that really surprised me was when Tante Jo approached me suddenly outside the canteen when I was talking to 2 Henrys. She suddenly grabbed my arm and exclaimed "Lady In Red!! A beautiful young lady!!" (Yea, i wore red shirt, red skirt, red bag, and pink sandal).

While I haven't recovered from the mild shock, she asked me about my love life. So I told her briefly (VERY briefly) about the Long Distance Relationship that we are currently going through. Before I talked further, she already told some soothing words about LDR.

Then she told me the historical sentence "But you still shine... shine very brightly!". That's her last sentence before dashing off.

I was a bit stunned. For someone who has just spent few weeks feeling low and lost for not knowing what to do next in her life, that sentence can really lift you up.

Tante Jo may have spending her quiet Sunday night now, not knowing that she just made my day...

And for you, grab each opportunity to tell somebody that she/he looks good, stunning, fresh, different in a better way, shining, etc.. the list may go on...

You would never know what difference you can make

2 years now...

It's been a while, in fact more than one month has passed since my last entry. Been occupied with works and other things. Nothing specific thought, it's just a miasma of my thoughts with myriads of particles (some are indistinct) inside.

My project at work is now like a Titanic which goes near to an iceberg, but still has a manouvering chance to avoid that. Hmm, may be not that bad. That negative analogy might only come out from me. Either I am a pessimist or a prophet with presaging ability , you decide.

Nah, actually it's still OK. Although I still feel like a rubber band being pulled to its yield point, but I am still pulling through. But I know that I have to stay in the elastic deformation region, where I still can go back to my initial form after that pressure. Must avoid entering the plastic deformation region. Those who are not with engineering background (esp. mechanical or material) may not be very familiar with these terms.

Some of my friends told me that they are impressed by the fact that I have stayed in my company for two years, doing something which is not my forte nor interest at all. I have never liked product design. In fact in my undergrad studies, I always avoided those subjects related to product design.

Lucky me to be in Mechatronics specialization, all Product Design related subjects were only at Introductory level. It's not about the subject being difficult nor complicated, it was just.... I don't like it, however hard I tried, you know what I mean. And chances were there to avoid doing that thing, which exacerbate things -> I never tried to start liking it.

In doing projects, we were given the liberty to choose our own project mates. And as many students do, our group almost always flock together. Since we have few projects going on in parallel, the job distribution was as enjoyable as: you do what I like. Since I like programming a lot which nobody else did, hence I had a full authority for the whole project. I killed two birds at one shot: I enjoyed what I was doing and I avoided doing those product design related projects (which my other friends who were gladly avoiding programming did). That's how I went through my Mechanical Engineering undergraduate days. Happy =) Once I skipped one part of a question in exam which asked us to do some design simplification. I really left it blank, as nothing was depicted in my mind at that time. You know what it was about: yes, product design.

And here I am, 2 years doing product design. A high-end, very complicated mechanical engine, with heaps and tonnes of requirements to meet.

It will be my first product cycle. I think I still need to wait for another 6-8 months for the completion. Being fully responsible for one subsystem and half for another, it is frustrating for me to "guess" what to be done next. It's true that we should be able to ask a senior, but in our team, I am among the 2 people who have done printer design for more than 1 year.

So here goes. Not my forte, not my interest, stressful environment, it's very logical if people ask: "why do you stay by the way?"

Hmm, I don't know. My visceral gut has not told me what to do next. It's also a challenge to know how far I can go in this area. Hopefully an angel will whisper in my ears later =)

If you ask me, no.. I don't regret working in my current job. It gives me a lot of experiences, lessons to learn, knowledge to fathom, practical know-how to know. Dealing with various kind of people, which certainly gives some degree of insights of the real world. It has also honed my intuition and judgement to make a decision, be it a technical or management.

My curiousity to sharpen my actual ability and strength make me considering to find the right niche for me.

Only God knows.

Hopefully a good update can come to you, may be soon, may be later... but I believe it will.

PS: 9 June 2005 was my second anniversary dwelling in product design