today..

Today went on pretty OK. Though my eyes are in best-friendly term with computers.

I spent hours in office rushing *pantpant*. It was almost like a race. I got a topic in the morning, and by the end of the day I need to draft out a research proposal out of it. Frantic. Reading the papers, twice as it wasn't an easy piece. Thinking of what to propose. Started the writing-up. Editing it. Submitting it. Then came my monthly report.

So eventhough it was only 6.15 pm, I was exhausted. And my eyes are having a strike in my head. So I went back.

Visited Toa Payoh Community Library, collected one reserved item: Cloudstreet by Tim Winton, an Australian Classic. Seems like quite popular in the Kangaroo Country.

Wanted to spend the night to just laze around and reading it. But ended up (as you can see) changing my blog template. The previous one was rather disturbing. Somewhat. I dislike the font type. So I found this one, and with this, I need to change all the font size. Previous one was too tiny weeney. (And I still hope I can hand-code my own blog one day)

Oh OK.. before I leave, let me share the best verse of a nice song ("And I Love You So" - Don McLean):

The book of life is brief
And once a page is read,
All but love is dead.
That is my belief.

Isn't it good?
Well, I won't get philosophical here... but I guess you get the message.

Have a great weekend!!!

how beautiful...

I kept on having this song hummed (by seraphims?) in my head.

I don't know, perhaps because I am always attracted to beauty (specifically "beauty" to my liking hehehehe who aren't anyway?), or perhaps I'm getting more and more in love with my life recently, or simply because Easter is coming (read on the lyrics and you would understand and perhaps share the same feeling with me).

My life does still have ups and downs. I still get my fair portion of frustration and confusion. But on the other side of the coin, I also get excitement, fulfilment and inspiration (though sometimes it comes with frustration as I can't really crystallize it). So. Life is Beautiful. La Vita e Bella. La Vie est Belle.

And this song is really beautiful. Unfortunately, the musically-challenged me don't really know how to sing it. I heard it when I joined the choir for 2004's Eucharistic Congress at Kallang Theatre. It was sung by one of Singapore Idol's finalist, C. Lee (and he sung better in the congress than in the contest).

Enjoy!

HOW BEAUTIFUL – Twila Paris


How Beautiful the hands that served
The Wine and the Bread and the sons of the earth
How beautiful the feet that walked
The long dusty road and the hill to the cross
How Beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

How Beautiful the heart that bled
That took all my sins and bore it instead
How beautiful the tender eyes
That choose to forgive and never despise
How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

And as He lay down His life
We offer this sacrifice
That we will live just as He died
Willing to pay the price
Willing to pay the price

How Beautiful the radiant bride
Who waits for her Groom with His light in her eyes
How Beautiful when humble hearts give
The fruit of pure love so that others may live
How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

How beautiful the feet that bring
The sound of good news and the love of the King
How Beautiful the hands that serve
The wine and the bread and the sons of the Earth
How Beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

PS: Bleh, I don't like this blog template. My Trebuchet font always turns to Verdana when published. And I am still HTML-ly retarded. So I guess I'll just live with it for the time being.

friendster

Bleehh..

I wonder why there are SO MANY people who are addicted to Friendster. I mean, it's good, indeed. No denial for that. I can get connected with so many friends, even from as far as primary school friends. It does make you feel good to be connected. I guess Friendster shall buy Nokia's slogan "connecting people".

But opening others' profile over and over again will use up HEAPS of our time, so why bother?

It's OK still, if you really have all the time in the world COUPLED with a fast (or at least decent) pace of the site. The reason why I have so many photos there was because I am too lazy to wait for it to do as simple as deleting photos.

Now I have a hard time in deleting one by one. *uuuggghhhhhhh* And sometimes the photos still sit there peacefully though we have thrown them to the bin!! *uuuuggghhhhhh*

I am deleting (very extremely superbly) patiently them one by one. Inhale.... exhale....

The Tale of Three Sisters

Today my two sisters and I went to some "function". It wasn't exactly a function, actually, but at least we all need to wear something formal.

The choice of shoes that we wore just further emphasized the difference among us.

Haha if you just guessed that the middle one is mine, you're most definitely correct.

It looks the coolest, doesn't it? *smug*

PS: Suddenly feel like checking my Friendster. I forgot how many months I've not been in a close acquaintance with that. I think I would love to delete most of my photos there...

antisocial

Strange?

When you detach yourself from others
It is when you find the entity
That is called your name

Recently, I have so effortlessly awarded “The Antisocial of the Year”. Not by one, but many. It is not that I really avoid meeting every single entity. It is, I guess, just that I avoid being in the crowd and being involved in many activities.

Many suggested me, asked me and even invited me to come back to society. I guess it is just a polite way for them to lure me back to “civilization”.

Honestly, I don’t think that I am being “that” antisocial. It is true that you can’t see me as up and about as before. You can still see me around, nevertheless only in places that I want to be and with people that I most treasure to be with. NOT that I see other less.

You see, we are now living in an era whereby time never seems to be enough. Sometimes I wish I could have 36 hours per day, but I believe that I would then ask for 48 hours. It’s human nature, I guess. Difficult to satisfy.

I’ll just be very frank here. It’s not that I am reluctant to mingle around with people. When I did, I sincerely enjoy that. But also as one legacy of this life, I do have my own interests, my dreams to fulfill, my curiosity to answer, my hobbies to do, new things to learn, new experiences to try, and many more. Pardon me if I am being to individualistic here, but I felt that if I am tied to too many activities or communities, I would have less time for myself and I would keep asking myself: when can I try this, when would I learn this, when would I have time to do this-and-that. Which I have to admit, I did question myself before.

So at one point of life, I decided to start learning things that I always want to learn, trying something, answering my curiosity, enjoying myself more in my hobbies. I do spare some time with others, i.e. socializing, it’s just not as much as before.

CARPE DIEM. SEIZE THE DAY. We just live once, so I might as well make the fullest of each second, the most meaningful of each minute, and also the most enjoyable of every hour. It is so much so that at the end of the day, we may leave this world by having known our full identity, not just shadows cast by others and we may also leave an unforgettable trail behind…

I also believe that there is time for everything. And the time may lapse before you know it. Just be focus on what you want in life. What you want to have, to do and to achieve. If at a certain point you have to leave something behind, just leave it. When God closes one door, He opens another window. Am I right?

I have had my time. I enjoyed being a chatty girl in an all-girl mailing list. I was always in the front line in organizing any gathering, girls’ nite out and all. I have sung in a charity choir concert. I have chaired the decoration team for _Xpression Nite (by Mudika, 2003). I have pasted all the walls with our self-made gallery. Co-written the drama script. Acted on that (the main cast!!). Composed a poem and recited it myself. Sung a two-line solo on stage (it was definitely something for a musically-challenged and tone-deaf person like me!!). Written something when I was in the bus and it then became our theme song. Drawn for some more backdrops.

Have a whole album of my photograph taken by a friend. Hey, just for fun!! I just wanted to know how the “real” photographer works. And he did it quite professionally.

Hmm what else?

I have actively written articles and what-not for an e-bulletin. Had at least one sleepless night each month to edit it. I have tried drawing using ink and pastel.

I have chaired a retreat. Had only five hours of sleep in total for TWO days during our three-day and two-night event. Managed to get some financial surplus rather than deficit to be passed on to next year’s committee. Been there for every fund-raising activities.

I had written a full script for a musical drama. Plus suggesting the title. Plus suggesting some casts. Plus writing most of the song lyrics. Plus composing half a song!! OK, I don’t have any musical sense but when the demand is pressing… then only that you would know how far you can stretch yourself.

So. OK. Now, after that episode is closed, I concentrate more on what I have been missing so far. My own passion and my own dream.

Now I feel that I am back on track. Doing painting weekly is something that I really treasure (although I would have to let it go very soon). Meeting new friends from the class is also exciting. It feels very GOOD to be with people with whom you share same interests. Really!! Trust me!! You will feel that, at last, you can talk with the same frequency.

Previously, when I was sooo energetically and ecstatically talking about art and painting, the most I could get was: a polite smile.

I still have a long list of things to do in my agenda, so I guess I would still be an antisocial for at least many months to come =). But yes, I feel like I can slowly see the true shape of my identity.

Life is an option, anyway. So this is what I have chosen for myself. Therefore I can’t afford to bother even if I am the sole candidate for “The Antisocial of the Year” (kidding!!).

For me, life is about knowing what is right and be brave enough to pursue it….

PS: And I still have many books to read!!

the image was taken at the outside of Asian Civilization Museum, September 2005

Paint the town green... and that pick-up line

Today I see TOO MANY green. If you are in Singapore, surely you can guess that I have spent most of the hours in Singapore Botanical Garden.

So. Today is the start of the new term. And our teacher decided to spend it in an outdoor painting session. Yaaayy...

As usual, I came too early. So I managed to snap some pictures around. But I won't display too many here, or else people will just look at them and not read my blog *cheeky grin*.

I was impressed as early as when I entered through Minden Gate. There is one tree there, just in front of the entrance, which can make you feel like in Korea for that specific 20 x 20 meter square or so surface area ONLY. I didn't really go to see the name placate, so I can't really tell you what flowers/plant is that *sorry*.

Singapore's weather is quite OK today. Phew. It was a bit cloudy, but it was also good as it hid the sun. After walking around to find the closest-to-perfect spot, I decided to sit by the waterlily pond (le bassin des nympheas =P). I thought (at first) that it will be quite secluded from public view. So nobody would take a peek and ruin my concentration (unless they praise you like they've never seen any oil painting piece before -- which didn't really happen, of course). Well, that's what I thought. In fact, the human traffic there was quite substantial. Couples, senior members of this globe, families, young adults, children, dogs. Mostly were expats. So we heard an ample variation of language just by sitting there (for around four hours). There was one dog saw us and then drooled. So today, my flabby arm made its debut -- the first public appearance, when energetically applying the paint on the canvas using brushes.

But it was FUN!! Although it drizzled a bit and afterwards, the cloud no longer hid the sun -- it was HOT! And I wasn't under any shades and with no baseball cap or whatever-kind of cap. Bleh. I almost melted so by the end of it not only that I needed to tidy up my painting mess but also some molten substances that have dripped here and there *garink*. Now I get a bit of colour difference around wristwatch area. And man, it was trully madly deeply humid. No overstatement for that. Haiiihh....

We started packing up at around 1.30 pm, left that spot at around 2 pm and I lugged a backpack full of painting paraphernalias, one tiny sling bag just for my valuables (I need it so it won't be a hassle when I need to tap my EZ , Link card for the bus), canvases and a desk easel. We climbed uphill (now it IS an overstatement). We "visited" other friends who were also packing up and some were ready to go.

Found out something rather funny. Haha. We found out that there was one uncle (around 50+ of age) who managed to "trace" all of us except one person who was away from all of us as she painted the famous gigantic tree roots. To the guys (which were only two), he kept on criticizing (eventhough our teacher was just standing behind him). To the girls, he kept on talking.

During our "tenure" by the pond, he did come and talk to us. As he talked in Mandarin, I could only reply him a bit. But looks like he wasn't very interested in us, so the conversation just flowed like a curious person who wanted to know more about painting.

But for this "very unlucky lady friend of us", he used the following pick-up line:
"Hey, why don't you follow me. I'll give you a ride to Pasir Ris. You can paint there, it has quite a nice view".

At first, she just politely refused, "bu fang bian". But he kept on offering, while praising her works. Then desperately she lied "I already have three kids." And that (can I put "shameless" here) "I am not married!!"
Then the offer went on. She again refused "I don't think my husband and children would be happy if I go so far". Man, that guy was persistent. I don't know how that encounter ended. Perhaps my teacher (who was looking at them and laughing at that with other fellow students) came to the rescue, I don't know.

Bleh.... Next week we are going to have another outdoor session at Botanical Garden again. Hopefully he won't be around and disturb us. I wonder what other pick-up lines he has.... Bleh. Bleh. Bleh.

So guys, hopefully you all can do better than that!! Or else you'll be nothing but a blog-entry's topic. Heheh. And perhaps a laughing-stock. Heheh.

two that i have...

I have two.
One is gold, and the other one is bronze.
But it doesn't have the purity of gold,
neither the other one has the strength of bronze.
Goldie Bronze, and Bronzy Gold.
It's because I still hold on to both.

So should I let go one of them?
So I'll get either the purity or strength?

Well, the gold is promising,
yet the bronze is tantalizing...

another reality transformed...

What is art?

It is always associated with imagination, abstract and also beauty. It is an expression duct for many people. Art, in its own unique way, can contain some messages, feeling, or it simply depicts beauty. Some are even surreal.

It’s difficult to describe what art is.

Some love it, some are adept in it, some criticize it, many appreciate it.

Art has found its place in every human’s heart in a very special way. Some come in calmness (e.g. classical music), some come in din (e.g. rock music). Some come in quirkiness (e.g. cubism), some come in honesty (e.g. expressionism). Some come in distinct lines (e.g. cartoon) some come in delicate blend of colors (e.g. impressionism). Some exude iridescence, some are simply monochromatic.

For me, art is a form of translation of life. Life itself is abstract and a lot of things happen within which; happiness, sadness, love, broken heart, etc. Different faces, millions of dreams and uncountable love. Art comes into the picture to depict it. It comes when mere prosaic words refused to describe.

More importantly, I always see art as the most honest personal identity, an honorable autobiography. Every piece of art is singular, no two persons can draw the same strokes, create the same piece of music, the same stanza in poems, the same tragedy in elegies, the same humor in comedies, the same story in drama.

Therefore, art stems from reality, depicted in our own unmatched individualism and permeating our very own identity and its beauty enthralls some others. Isn’t it wonderful?

One thing about art that’s similar to love: when you like a certain piece of art, would you be able to precisely describe why you do? You will just be carried away by it and the next thing you know, you enjoy it and you like it. Isn’t it the same when you love someone? I guess it’s just what honest feeling and beauty can do to your life, especially when they join their hands together.

Humbly, I would say, art is the only allowable egocentrism on earth…

bleeehh.....

In the past one week I have tried to understand about something, by reading one paper, two thesis (what's the plural form for thesis?) and with Wikipedia and Google being ready (and they have been a great help *clap*).

So one foreign researcher (read: not-so-good English) volunteered himself to give a brief run through of it today. Thanks God, I think, at least I would know where I stand in understanding this foreign topic.

So we met in the meeting room. He, being very patient, tried his best to explain. And I understood. *Light bulb blinking*. I could follow his explanation and he has such a good way in revealing (almost) all clouding mystery which I encountered during my lonely reading about the topic.

But he scribbled here. Scribbled there. His handwriting climbed uphill. Sloped downhill. Blob here. Blob there. Threadball (a messy one) here. Another one there. Striked through this. Striked through that.

But the discussion kept on flowing. Trellis diagram here. There. Formula here. There. Alpha. Beta. Gamma. Code. Code rate. Decoder. Encoder. Interleaver. De-interleaver. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I was on the ride and almost there. Until he told me "OK, I guess we're done here. Now you take this and try to start on the program. Actually I have had the program already but it would be easier for you to understand it deeper by programming. Let me know when you have some questions or doubts and let me know when you're done."

And 'this' referred to the up and down scribbles plus blob here and there blah blah blah that he had energetically put on poor 5 sheets of paper.

Bleeeeeehhh.... *blank* So I have to "trace back" his scribbles and start programming. He hinted though "this matrix that matrix thet matrix thos matrix... it should be simple."

Back in my cubicle, I was hungry, got stomach cramp and it was almost end of the day already. So instead of using my precious time to start working, I enjoyed myself taking some pictures of them instead (well, at first I spread them out with the hope that I would be able to surmise where I should start... but then my Nokia phone took action already.. so what to do?). Somemore, I quite like my desk's color, it goes pretty well with white, no?

*start rolling up sleeves for tomorrow's battle*
*menyingsingkan lengan baju*

Just a Stochastic Thought

I believe you've often heard this question:
"Do you think the glass is half empty or half full?"

If you answer "half full" they'll (smugly) exclaimed "Congratulation!! Welcome to the optimist' world!!". But if you answer otherwise, they will put a pitying face and give you a long motivational and inspirational (or so they say) lectures.

Anyway, frankly, it has never made any sense to me. The first milisecond when I heard about it, well, I was rather impressed I must say, but the next second, after my brain had worked on it and sent out a signal to me, I thought "duurr... how can it be? How can a logically incorrect (or so I thought) phrase becomes part of an impressive sentence?"

OK. Let's look through it.

Let's normalize the situation. In which case, empty would become zero and full would become one. OK. Now.

Half full = 0.5 x 1 = 0.5.

Half empty = 0.5 x 0 = 0.

Half empty, in other word, is a non-existence (at least, mathematically). My hunch is, how can a realistic situation be described by a non-existence? This concept itself can't manage to find a congruence within my thinking cap.

So when a person asked me this question for the first time, honestly, I thought it was a mathematical riddle, a "trap question". Never had it crossed my mind that it is, am I correct to say it, a psychological one.

Now is the MCQ question
Do I:
a. just have a bad English?
b. just have a poor brain?
c. just have an eccentric (nyentrik) way of thinking?
d. all of the above

What say you?

...

Which one do you think is easier:
1. working with someone who is cooperative but the topic is astronomically difficult?
2. working about a topic which is (not easy but) more fathomable and work on with someone who is not only uncooperative but also uncommunicative? Who replied your diplomatically written e-mail with one grammatically incorrect sentence? And not really “addressing” your question?

Well, I am doing both now and I can’t categorize this situation as smooth and easy. Today I feel like a bunch of my cerebral cells have planned among themselves a strike soon after.

I wish I can rent another brain (any reliable rental?) so I can learn both subjects concurrently. I really don’t know how to split up myself…

I’m in the brink of giving up but I am pretty sure that I won’t do that (help me to ensure myself hehehe =P).

La vie est dure mais nous sommes plus dures…

Paint the Town Red!!

Well, actually not really. Only a building along Maxwell Rd (am I right?). It is called "Red Dot Design Museum". I don't really know what's inside, just noticed a café (Red Traffic?). Whoever the architect is, hey you've just made my day!! Finding a building which is all-painted by my favourite colour is definitely something!!

As about the dragon-painted sneakers, well they are not mine. Instead, they're another brainchild of my sister's creativity (the one with black t-shirt, the one in white is my sis-in-law to be -- mentioned here). She is studying in Catholic Junior College now (hey, that 'rumour' about CJC is no longer true!! It has long gone -- I guess only people who've stayed in Singapore for long enough will understand what I am talking about). She definitely made sure that her mid-term break was for a good measure -- seeing from the things that she's made or drew. That are her old pair of school-shoes (yup, they were plain white) you are seeing, which has just had an edgy revamp. Surely she has the talent *brrrrrooooooaaaaaaaddddd grin*.

And yeah, red has been one of the main colour that she's been using in all her artworks recently *yeah* *clap* *clap again*. VIVA RED!!
Had she chosen other colour, she'll still be my ranting-end for only studying one subject during this one-week holiday (Chemistry). *gggrrrrrbbblll*

A bit of tea...

Today I did something for the first time in my life: drinking Chinese Tea in a proper chinese-tea-ceremony way. It was fantastic!! Drinking traditional tea is actually not really my... well, cup of tea. Tea hasn't been my favourite so far (except Indonesian's (iced) sweetened tea and Teh Botol).

I do enjoy drinking Chinese Tea in Dim Sum place (normally Kuan Yin or Jasmine tea) and Japanese Green Tea in Japanese restaurants (not the instant one, please), but tea has never been my best option, if you know what I mean. For me coffee sits few ranks higher than tea. Never in my office I really stocked up heaps of tea bags. But I did for coffee. I am willing to spend few more dollars to get Bodum's coffee cup, but not for tea. Well, I guess now you've got what I mean.

But apparently, tea for someone is like painting for me. And that 'someone' is a very close relative of mine. She just luuuurrrvvveeesss traditional chinese tea. I am also curious. I also want to know. I am also interested to know more than mere drinking unsweetened tea from a tiny cup.

Hence, today off we (she, my younger sister and I) went to Tea Chapter. The ambience was nice, very peaceful and calm (and smells nice!!) although it wasn't really zen-like. It is just a proper place for drinking (I mean, sipping) hot chinese tea. They have different settings: Queen's setting, Korean setting and Japanese setting. FYI, Queen Elizabeth was indeed there sometime in 1989. You can see many of pictures portraying her watching the procedures and sipping the tea with full concentration. A nice place to just relax and have a chat with your dearest ones (like what we did!). They have some tea-infused snacks also. Let me recommend some: tea eggs, tea beancurd and the heart-shaped rose-tea biscuits. We chose a taiwanese oolong tea (some books say it has slimming effect *grin*), specifically the High Mountain Tea. Very nice aroma. And nice taste also. One very amicable lady gave us a comprehensive explanation about the whole steps, from beginning until it's ready for us to smell (from fragrance cup) and sip (must have three sips, with different significance each, from drinking cup).

I guess it's a very popular place to go for tourists visiting Singapore, as groups by groups of them kept on coming in. We didn't see any local consumers there today. They also have a shop downstairs, selling tea, tea-sets, tea pots, books about tea... It was just like a small tea-museum. It has an artistically-approved setting also. They also conduct a comprehensive course about chinese tea, so for those who are interested, just check it out from the website!

All in all, we've spent a very enjoyable three hours there (please note that during peak hours we can only stay for 2 hours - max). But hey, where's the slimming effect? I want to see proofs and not just some hypothesis... *just kidding!!!*

Can't Get Them Out of My Head

Black American will say it "Can't Get 'Em Outta Ma' Head" (hehe gak penting banget sih).

You know what, it's been few days that the following items dancing in my mind and tantalizing my taste buds: Baby Back Ribs (whole slab), golden brown potato wedges and martabak duren (durian pancake) from Muara Karang, Jakarta, Indonesia.

Oh my God, I keep mentioning those heavenly food and I was quite amazed that I didn't dream of any of them. My sister (Black American will pronounce it sistah - ga penting lagi) suggested that I go to Kenny Rogers and got the full portion (NOT the martabak duren though) today.

But hey. Today is Friday. It's Lent season. Abstinence. Abstinence.

Good then, it will not only tighten my tummy but my bank account also.

I am hoping to be able to go back to Jakarta next June. Hoping to go to Bandung. Have only been there once for UnPar (Universitas Parahyangan)'s open house. I didn't really intend to apply there actually (first choice was NTU with no back up -- duh!) but because my whole gank (not that 'gank', just.. gank. well, you know what I mean.) went (out of 8 people, only two who seriously considered to apply actually). May be I have to persuade my brother (the handsome, smart, gorgeous, kind-hearted, God-loving, family-loving, too good to be true -- hopefully he'll read it... hey Ron, you know what I am implying) to drive me there (wuakakakakakkaak =D). I know even if he won't read it, he will know about it through other channel. I don't know what's there in Bandung, but I just heard (for zillions of time!!) that the food is heavenly there.

Surely I'll visit Grogol (NOT the Mental Institution) but the "Depot Surabaya" at Jln. Dr. Muwardi. I was overcame with envy when my sister (sistah) told me our mom (momma) brought her there after I flew off to Singapore. *grrrmmmmbbblll*

rambunctious..

Pada umumnya saya tidak suka cowok bawel.
Apalagi kalo banyak cowok bawel gabung jadi satu.
Apalagi kalo segerombolan cowok bawel itu memilih cubicle sebelah cubicle saya untuk berbawel ria.
Apalagi kalo ngebawelnya ngalor ngidul.
Apalagi kalo kebawelannya itu berhasil mengundang seekor cewek bawel untuk bergabung dan menambah kebawelan menjadi kebawelan massal (dan saya masih tidak tergoda untuk ikut)
Apalagi kalo dilakukan di jam kerja.
Apalagi kalo cewek yang "kesian" banget ini (itu saya!!!) lagi berusaha untuk membaca sebuah dokumen maha penting.
Apalagi kalo dokumen maha penting itu tentang topik yang alamuakjan buanget deh (Iterative Decoding gitu loh!!)
Apalagi setelah saya telusuri dan pasang kuping bener-bener (soalnya mereka ngobrol pake bahasa mandarin seh jadi gua perlu konsentrasi untuk mendigestasi) ternyata mereka membicarakan tentang cheng beng (erm, doa untuk orang-orang yang sudah berangkat ke alam lain).

Haiihh sini saya kasih program chatting saya ajah. Jadi kalian bisa chatting tapi kalo ada boss liwat kalian tampak seperti sedang men-debug program hihihi =D

Tentang program chatting saya, makin lama makin berkembang. Tapi saking bosennya, pas testing cuma begini ajah gitu loh (nama bisa diganti-ganti donkski):
tini : nkahfnjhkjhljalajl;a
tono : bjkahsdkldas
tini : nkasfhakjshladjad
tono : gjkahsdjkad
....
tono : ya udah tin, saya ke salon dulu yah.. babaii...

*hihi baris terakhir boongan sih*

yah coba anda bayangkan, saya ngetes program ini dari kemaren sore. Chatting sama diri sendiri. Lha gimana ga bosen yak??

Okeh, selamat hari rabu yak!! Jangan lupa gosok gigi ntar sebelum bobo....

Tapi yang kayak gini...

Gua gak berhasil menemukan gambar yang gua maksud, i.e. Baskin-Robbins atau Campina punya...

Anyway, the ice cream that I meant is something like THIS. Where the biscuit is quite soft... oooohhhhh.... *drool*

Baskin-Robbins has the circular shape whereas Campina has the rectangular shape (and they call it Royal Sandwich if my memory hasn't failed me).

BTW, Campina masih exist kah di Indo? Di Singapore ice cream apa yang beken yah? Hmm I think the trend has shifted to Gelato... Bravissimo, Gelatissimo, and few others. I don't really like sorbet, however, it doesn't have that milky (in actual fact I detest milk taste, that's why don't ever offer me milk, but ice cream is just always heavenly) and most importantly FATTY taste!! Isn't the more sinful the better?

Bukan yang ini...

Waktu gua bilang ke temen gua kalo gua lagi pengen makan ice cream yang ada biscuitnya, dia mikirnya es potong yang dijual apek-apek gitu lho. Duh percaya gak sih, gua makan itu terakhir mungkin udah hampir 12 taun lalu, jaman SMP... dan gak impress-impress amat tu...

Sekarang udah makin menjamur (jualannya, bukan ice creamnya), beda banget sama dulu jaman gua SMP. Kini, di mana-mana dapatlah ditemukan apek apek atau ncim ncim penjual es potong dengan berbagai macam rasa untuk memuaskan selera. Gambar di atas, pake roti. Tapi kan ada juga yang pake wafer.. nah yang itu yang dikira sama temen gua...

Duh... bukan... bukan...

Chatting

About the program that I am working on right now (yes, it's already developing now), hmm actually it wasn't my task. That's the beauty of working in a Research Institute, where learning is as important as working and you won't be rushed to meet the deadline (you are still expected to be responsible, of course).

So instead of following my supervisor's suggestion to browse for some sample programs from internet and try it out in my system, I tried to make my own program. I didn't know how far can I go with it, but I feel this attempt would be more fruitful than just copy others and try them out, do you agree? What joy would you get by seeing others' programs running, eventhough it's in your own system? It's just like practising to do some copy, paste, a slight editing perhaps, and finally type gcc server.c -o blablabla... on your command prompt window.

Hahaha so now I chat with my own self (anybody from my office want to chat with me? I'll pass the program to you and just give me your IP address hehehehehehe). What's the purpose of chatting with myself? Hmmm... nothing. Well, at least it shows that my program works and I've got a grip on the things I am learning.

Anyway, while I am writing this post I listen to Delta Goodrem's songs: Out of the Blue and Almost Here. A great lass, she is. Nevertheless, I found her not being so popular in Singapore. Melodious voice, meaningful lyrics, and what a life she leads...

Brain Dysfunction

Hmm, sebenernya tadi buka Blogger window ini kira-kira 20 menitan lalu. Lagi mampet-mampetnya ni otak, entah kenapa susah banget diajak konsentrasi. Nyuruh otak ini mikir aja kayak nyuruh anak kecil untuk cepet-cepet mandi pake sabun wangi. Ogaaaah banget.. sampe kitanya kewalahan.

Mungkin ini efek tidur kurang dari biasanya kali ya (yeey ga nyambung banget, lha wong bedanya palingan setengah jam - sejem.. biasalah manusia suka cari-cari alasan dan kambing hitam). Slow banget responsenya. Kalo kita bilang "hayo mikir!!" dia tuh kayak masih "hmmm...." sambil senyum-senyum dan kucek-kucek mata. Sampe gua pikir mending gua ngeblog aja daripada mikir.

Tapi abis ni blogger dibuka, gua maksa mikir lagi (pake pecut -- emang kuda?). Hahaha jadi gak jadi, jalan gak jalan, pokoknya gua harus compile ni program sebelum nge-blog!! Bener gak bener, pokoknya tulis dulu command-nya!! Soale berdasarkan pengalaman, the real essence of writing and shaping a program comes only during debugging processes...

Jadi deh ketunda ni postingan... dan jadi basi. Programnya udah ke-compile and udah di-eksekusi sekarang walau belum perfect but OK lah.

Tau ga sih, setelah gua pikir lagi (lho katanya gak bisa mikir? hehe kayaknya cuma applicable buat mikirin kerjaan), kayaknya gua tadi konsentrasinya emang lagi keganggu badai taifun berat.

Tau gak kenapa? Gua lagi kebayang-bayang banget ice cream yang dimakan pake biscuit, jadi kayak sandwich begitu. Entah kenapa tapi dari tadi turun bus gua udah sibuk ngebayangin tuh ice cream.. It used to be my favourite. Kalo di Indo dulu seh gua biasa makan Campina punya (daily) and Baskin Robbins (weekly). Apa daya eksistensi mereka gak nyampe Singapore. Well, pastinya banyak yang jual begituan... Haagen Dazs? Duh, mahal sia....

Jangan-jangan ntar malem gua ngimpinya makanin tuh ice cream... Duh, toloooonnggg... pengen banget neh!! Di NUS sini ada ga yah? *tapi masih ada sisa-sisa flu I'm not supposed to eat any ice creams!!*

Kirain...

Weleh, gua pikir hari ini bakalan ngantuk. Soalnya kemaren malem baru nyampe rumah ketika jam menunjukkan pukul 11.30 *buset bahasanya* padahal biasanya jam segitu udah ngambil PeWe (Posisi Wenak) di tempat tidur.

Apa pasal?

Tanpa direncanakan banget, gua kemaren nekad aje gitu gabung sama sekelompok anak muda (walau pada kenyataannya gua teteuuup paling muda huehueheiheiheue) buat makan malem bareng (dan ternyata lagi, gak semuanya makan.... banyak yang minum doank padahal ukurannya udah mini mini pisan hihihi) di Coffee Club (biarpun ga kenal tapi berani-beraninya gua mengusulkan ini ahakhahakhakah).

Yah dibilang ga kenal-ga kenal banget juga nggak. At least kadang suka ngintip blognya mereka. Mbak Loucee, Mbak Fortuna, ada lagi mbak blogger lain yang gua gak tau linknya, mbaknya salah dua mbak di sana, satu temen gua yang ternyata kebetulan temennya beberapa mbak, dan temennya temennya lageh.

Huehueheu ga nyangka aja bisa konek (in many ways). Mungkin sekarang gua kalo baca blog mereka udah bisa membayangkan suara dan ngakak nya mereka instead of baca hurup-hurup doank..

Mengagetkan (surprisingly), gua gak ngantuk.. tapi kayaknya cuma masalah waktu aja kali.... Mari kita lihat nanti ketika waktu makan menjelang, okeh??

What's Left Now?

I have chapped skin =(. Predictably, it is around nose area... the area whereby a lot of friction happened recently. Poor my skin to endure such torture. Even without friction, it is my most sensitive facial area. Sometimes it is due to unfriendly temperature and/or humidity, strong chemical substances (e.g. perfumes) and the most ridiculous one, smell/aroma of chili. My family knows about it, so they always keep away chili from me... and I am freed from washing the dishes if there are some traces of chili there. So not only its taste burns my tongue (and kill the real taste of the food), its emanating air also always disturb me. (hey, I know that some of my blog's fervent readers are also anti-chili!!)

Back to my chapped skin... really, I suffer from that. On top of it all, the weather in Singapore recently is scorching hot!! It makes my skin even more prickly. Ouch... Not only the skin, my lips also felt rather burnt....

Other than that, the remnants of my (now famous) flu is a bit of runny nose and also fever.

Oh my... really hope that it will be gone soon... very very soooon.... Tomorrow is weekend already, I hate it if I am sick during weekend.

U Zap? Naaaah...

Want to get that flatter stomach? Want to have that abdominal appeal?

Don't try the pills, nor the vibrating belt (U-Zap and friends), nor the galloping buddy (I-Gallop)...

Just get a virus and the concomitant sneezing and coughing fit. Before you know it, you'll feel your abdominal muscles are forming...

Haiiizz... I still prefer my normal state of health though...

Kerupuk Oh Kerupuk....

Weleh... pada inget gak sih sama kaleng yang satu ini? Kayaknya emang ga pernah absen dari warung-warung di tanah air tercinta Indonesia. Waktu kecil, sering banget beli kerupuk ini (cuma Rp 50,00 alias gocap, sodara-sodara!!) kalo pas abis cycling (cieeeh.. naek sepeda keliling RT/RW maksudnya).

Gua motret nih kaleng di Jakarta (bukan Singapore, sorry for lifting your hopes so high) tepatnya di Waroeng Podjok di Plaza Senayan (buset, udah naik kelas dia.. dari warung Bu Ndari sampe Plaza Senayan hueheuheuehue). Hampir njerit pas ngeliat... kangen bo!!!

And of course, gua beli donk... makan bareng rawon. Hmm the rawon wasn't that fantastic though... Enakan yang asli Malang (hueheue ya iyalah). Enakan bikinan Bibi Marni (dia yang bertanggung jawab akan tingginya selera lidah gua karena dia masakin yang uenak tenaaaaan sejak gua di perut nyokap dan beberapa tahun sebelumnya).

Ngomong-ngomong soal Bibi Mar, duh gua ngiler pisan ngingetin masakan-masakan dia. Sampe sempet beken dia di kalangan sodara and temen-temen nyokap. Slurp buanget dueecchhh!!!! Anu, pastel tutupnya itu lhoooo.... buat gua yang penggemar kentang, it's just heavenly!!! Dan... dan... duh *ngelap iler* bahkan tempe gorengnya aja buedaaaa buangeeeeett sama di tempat lain. Endang Bambang bin nendang dehh..

Hmmm emang orang kalo punya bakat beda yah. Bayangkan, Bibi Mar tuh gak bisa baca lancar... dengan kata laen, dia gak pernah baca resep. Kadang kita bawa makanan enak, kasih dia nyicip, jadi deh besokannya..

Ohhhh Bibiii... I miss you and your gourmet!! Too bad last time I went back to Jakarta she wasn't around... I had no choice but must eat out to enjoy a gastronomical pleasure... (yes, my mom is not in friendly term with kitchen... so you know whom I get my non-cooking genetics from...)

Jadi pengen makan kerupuk... Pengen ke Depot Surabaya....

Ooohhh pisang goreeeeng....

Flu Tulang??

Anybody knows what exactly flu tulang (bone flu, or osteo flu? haha maksa but rather sounds cool). A dear friend of mine has mentioned few times that she had it (especially during NTU days), but we (the other two from the three) have never really had an idea what or how is it.

Today I start to wonder, whether my flu has also brought this flu tulang.... I feel my whole body aching and there is a funny feeling at the bone, especially at the back and rib bones. Very uncomfortable indeed.

With my kiasu-ness (read: the amount of Panadol I consume - not overdose, don't worry just make an almost full use of the allowable amount) I am a bit better now, signified by the absence of sneezing rows. Though still have the body aches and feel very uncomfortable in the throat, I think the phlegm (sorry, maap) is playing its role joyfully there.

I left my lethargic state (forcefully) when I received an e-mail giving a very short notification of my upcoming presentation. Leaving my other programs in still an uncompilable state, I opted to work on the slides instead.

Oh, flu... go away!!

Flu Tulang... enyah!!

Flu... =(

I don't know how but yesterday somehow I caught cold. Started recognizing the symptoms when I walked back from bus stop to home. I don't know who has spread the virus to poor me.

I took Panadol Cold after my dinner, and felt more miserable afterwards, it seemed like all the virus are partying inside me, at the nasal area in particular. I took my second Redoxon for the day, and decided to call it a day at only 10 pm. Popped up another Panadol before that. It was rather difficult to get myself to sleep, what with whole body aching, the urge to sneeze just couldn't compromise, my throat started feeling dry but finally I dozed off.

My sleep went very restless at around 3 am, therefore I decided to wake up and... what else? I took another Panadol. Well, call me Kiasu (afraid to lose) but I really was compelled to take one more, as I didn't feel at the pink of my health and was so scared if it would continue 'til morning that I couldn't go to work. I tried to sleep again afterwards, rather difficult still as my sleeping quota (used to be around 6 hours daily) was almost already there.

I don't know what time I fell asleep again exactly, next thing I knew was my alarm clock woke me up at 5.45 am, comme d'habitude. Felt a bit better actually, before sneezing frenzy started off again. I took my daily dose of Redoxon, and gulp over a bottle of Brand's Chicken Essence, really hoping that it would help (hey, it's not that cheap!)

And now, at the office, clad in my red jacket I sip my Panadol Cold & Flu Hot Remedy instead of my usual morning coffee (with my almost-eight-hour sleep, I guess I don't need coffee... as yet). I really hope that I can get better pretty soon, as knowing my body and state of health, it can go really bad if I let it. Like, my flu can run for weeks and even month....

Oh, blow!!

My whole body is aching.... am feeling lethargic.... =( doubly triply =(

Ngantuk

It's Friday now, all right... But this fact doesn't really help to shun away my post-lunch drowsiness. And when it is mixed with some relieved feeling, it is just worse, what with my adrenaline has stopped rushing and taken some dormancy.

Nothing really exciting at work now, I've done all programming that I need to do, and my next task will be to do some networking thingy (TCP/IP). Got the idea already, boss... but still don't know what to do next (i.e. how to start the program). This TCP/IP will be part of the program though, so the program to be written will still be DSP (Digital Signal Processing, that is).

So, first thing I did was to find out what does TCP stand for. Thanks to wikipedia, it's Tranmission Control Protocol. Is that right?

Oh well, sometimes I feel like a general helper here in this program. LOL. Which is good, actually. That's actually one of the main reason of me leaving my previous company and joining a Research Institute instead. You know, by end of my first semester in NTU I had rather regretted for not opting Computer Engineeering instead (that's after my Computing lesson). But since MPE was so much fun (I really had a blast there!! The peers, and even the lecturers are friendly) so I stayed (as if switching to other major was an option) and streamed into Mechatronics specialization which, I thought, will give me more programming experiences. It did. All my favourite subject were programming-related. And I managed to escape from other projects (well, almost) by directing them to other team mates (luckily we had freedom to choose out team mates and the usual guys fell on the usual group) and promising that I would do all the programming stuffs. They were always more than happy to accept that (they are mechanical engineers-to-be, remember?). I also did a 100% programming project for my Final Year Project (and I always refer my final semester in NTU as my long enjoyable holiday, cheers to that).

So, to finish off what I've left, after having spent two years plus in product design, I missed programming (not in a very sentimental kind of "miss" though) so I thought "oh well, must give it a shot". Though I still doubt myself "Which company in its right mind want to hire me to do programming with very limited background?". My previous manager, who for only-God-knows reason wanted to retain my employment, tried to "pass" me to the software development dept, which was to no avail as its manager doubt my ability to perform the programming task. Oh well, as if I still want to stay... *grin*

Some people attempted to discourage me from joining a government-funded Research Institute (RI). They said:
1. the pace is too slow: well, it suits me. As I need a slow pace which may allow me to really learn at the beginning. I am not a programmer, remember?

2. they are too detail minded: well well well we're talking about researcher and scientist here, of course they HAVE to be extremely, excruciatingly detail minded. Unlike industry which (mostly) focus on deliverables, RIs focus more on detail and... how to put it... perfection? I was TOO detail minded and TOO critical in my previous job, I felt like a wrong peg in a wrong hole.

3. the pressure is bigger though hidden: you'll not be chased out for deadlines, but you are demanded to egg out certain number of papers and publications each year. But isn't how you can enjoy all the gadgets you have in your pocket, at home, in office and any other places? Those papers and publications are the rudimentary stage of technology development.

4. they are a bunch of nerd (really, some people told me that): well, didn't you say I am one?

All in all, nothing can waver me from joining an RI. And really, I would never regret it. I now feel that my life is more... well, on-track.

So here I am, joining this RI since Sept 2005. Spent the first two months to catch up with DSP, with programming (the last time I used C I think was in Computing lesson, right... that was in my first semester) and also the other development that has been done for this project. Honestly, I felt so stupid sometimes (I was surrounded by experienced people who really know what they are doing.. and beyond, remember?), felt like digging the ground and then burying myself in there (it's not an understatement). I kept telling myself, it will just take time. So stagger on! So stagger on I do. And now, I am open to anything new to learn. Including TCP/IP, that is. The most embarassing moment has passed (hopefully).

For any true-blue programmers reading this, well... I am still minuscule compared to you guys. So don't ask me to discuss any too-technical topic, OK? But I am enjoying and (hopefully) catching up...