My fingers are actually itching to type few or more lines. I think with my almost-one-month absent in this blogging saga, I've lost my ability in writing.
You might have noticed that my English has deteriorated slowly but sure with the decreasing frequency of writing. This consolidates the saying that "Practice Makes Perfect". So I think I have to start musing again before my English really drops several levels below.
Blame it on JKR, somebody who might not even know that I am breathing the same air as her though at different latitude and longitude of this one-and-only globe. I am perfectly sure that she doesn't know that I am exist, but look at how much disappointment she has made on my blog readers (uhu uhu uhu what a narcissm).
Yeah it all started when she (for the nth time in my life) captivated me with the story wrapped in a book called Harry Potter #6, The Half Blood Prince. The book was freshly delivered to my doorstep (thanks so Singapore Post) on one historical and never-be-forgotten Saturday morning. Despite the weight, I carried it around and managed to steal few minutes from my lunch break to read few pages. I can even read it in the bus!!
Afterwards, the urge to read the rest was unstoppable. One of the reason is that I want to refresh my memory about few names mentioned in the sixth book (which have no mercy in torturing us to try to remember the names from previous book without sufficient explanation. But come to think of it, can you imagine how thick the book would be and how boring would be the book to those who dutifully read Harry Potters book again and again and have etched all the names in their mind?)
So again I read #3 (to recall the story about Sirius), then I continued to read #5 (to relive the loathing to The Highness Professor Dolores Umbridge) and parallely I read #1 (just because the fifth book is too bulky and heavy to carry around and it's easier to bring #1 around and to office). My #5 book was actually with my dearest younger sister, who luckily just stays nearby (in CJC Hostel) so I could command her to return my book with reason such as not to disturb her Prelim and O-Level Exam preparation... what a thoughtful sister I am (narcissssss).
So now you know...
I have been possessed by the spirit of Harry Potter as he was by Lord Voldemort. I can feel the strong urge to slap Snape (ooops, Professor Snape) right on his face sometimes. I can share the pain that Harry's experiencing (though I don't have a single scar -let alone one in a lightning shape- on my forefead... only pimples occassionally). I also build a great trepidation whenever the horror is imminent.
Well, I have to admit that a lot of procrastination has been made due to this enchanting plot.
I guess the next thing I have to do is to check my myopia, only God knows what the books have done on my two poor eyes.
I am still strangled by the captivating story of #5 book, and planned to continue with the Triwizard Tournament in book #4. With the complete DVDs also keep calling me to watch them.
OK then, won't spend too much time blogging. Really have to continue rea... oops no, to tidy up my room. Yeah that's right.
Ciaoooo!!!!!
Friday, August 19, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
InStyle
I often notice that people like to buy and wear outfits that are trendy and up-to-date, but forgetting about how well it would fit and suit her/his posture. It may go very well for some people, but it may also jeopardize others’ look. They buy what they see in television, magazines, advertisements, etc. The follow what the celebrities are wearing.
Please raise your hand (as if I can see you do it he he he…) if you agree with the following:
STYLE IS A PERSONAL STATEMENT.
I always believe in and hold onto this. I do see magazines at times just to see what’s latest in town. I can like or dislike the displays I see, up to me. However, more often than not, I would restrain myself of buying something (clothes, bags, or footwear) that I quite take a liking BUT it becomes so… common. It’s a funny antic of me, most of my friends told me. If I really like the model, I would look for something which has certain uniqueness and makes it less common. Funnily enough, sometimes the less common means simpler.
I have certain style to which I have abode loyally. One obvious example is my hairstyle, which has never altered significantly since my primary school era. My mum asked me to have fringe when I was in primary six. But I used hairpin to keep the fringe from falling down to my forehead and maintain my ponytail. In my third year in university, she suggested that I perm my hair and cut it in shaggy style. I followed her idea but it didn’t result in much different. My hair may be curly, but still in ponytail. I left the curly hair because it is just such a waste of money, but keep the shaggy style. And BINGO, with the ponytail. Last year in a hair saloon my mum and I had a quarrel over my hair. She insisted that I dye and highlight my hair. The saloon sissy has even chosen the perfect color that goes perfectly with me. My mum also insisted that I change my hairstyle to follow Dian Nitami’s style (at least). Me, I was more than happy to keep my natural hair color and trademark hairstyle (no other than a neat ponytail). Just for the sake of the saloon sissy, I finally gave in by letting him joyfully highlighting my poor hair.
About fashion, I still stick to my style since being a teenager. Casual, sporty. Sometimes smart and casual. Sometimes elegant and casual. It depends on the occasion, but “casual” has always been the keyword. I think simplicity and your own positive aura can exude more gracefulness and captivating elegance. My friends used to say that I am lucky to inherit my mum’s posture (FYI, she was a runway model once) which can contribute to my favorable style (Thanks Mum!!!). Although I have to admit that I am (very) far less graceful and elegant than her =P. She is my one role model in fashion. I think I learn my style from her.
I dress up as I wish and also depending on my present mood. I can dress up rather feminine one day, but wearing my lovely shorts and loose t-shirt on the next day. But all must give me comfort and self-confidence by wearing them…
Human being is a visual creature. What you wear is the window from which the world is connected to your very soul. Your style is the walking billboard for your own identity.
So, is anybody also up to the following sentence?
STYLE IS A PERSONAL STATEMENT.
If you can be yourself, why should you follow the crowd?
Please raise your hand (as if I can see you do it he he he…) if you agree with the following:
STYLE IS A PERSONAL STATEMENT.
I always believe in and hold onto this. I do see magazines at times just to see what’s latest in town. I can like or dislike the displays I see, up to me. However, more often than not, I would restrain myself of buying something (clothes, bags, or footwear) that I quite take a liking BUT it becomes so… common. It’s a funny antic of me, most of my friends told me. If I really like the model, I would look for something which has certain uniqueness and makes it less common. Funnily enough, sometimes the less common means simpler.
I have certain style to which I have abode loyally. One obvious example is my hairstyle, which has never altered significantly since my primary school era. My mum asked me to have fringe when I was in primary six. But I used hairpin to keep the fringe from falling down to my forehead and maintain my ponytail. In my third year in university, she suggested that I perm my hair and cut it in shaggy style. I followed her idea but it didn’t result in much different. My hair may be curly, but still in ponytail. I left the curly hair because it is just such a waste of money, but keep the shaggy style. And BINGO, with the ponytail. Last year in a hair saloon my mum and I had a quarrel over my hair. She insisted that I dye and highlight my hair. The saloon sissy has even chosen the perfect color that goes perfectly with me. My mum also insisted that I change my hairstyle to follow Dian Nitami’s style (at least). Me, I was more than happy to keep my natural hair color and trademark hairstyle (no other than a neat ponytail). Just for the sake of the saloon sissy, I finally gave in by letting him joyfully highlighting my poor hair.
About fashion, I still stick to my style since being a teenager. Casual, sporty. Sometimes smart and casual. Sometimes elegant and casual. It depends on the occasion, but “casual” has always been the keyword. I think simplicity and your own positive aura can exude more gracefulness and captivating elegance. My friends used to say that I am lucky to inherit my mum’s posture (FYI, she was a runway model once) which can contribute to my favorable style (Thanks Mum!!!). Although I have to admit that I am (very) far less graceful and elegant than her =P. She is my one role model in fashion. I think I learn my style from her.
I dress up as I wish and also depending on my present mood. I can dress up rather feminine one day, but wearing my lovely shorts and loose t-shirt on the next day. But all must give me comfort and self-confidence by wearing them…
Human being is a visual creature. What you wear is the window from which the world is connected to your very soul. Your style is the walking billboard for your own identity.
So, is anybody also up to the following sentence?
STYLE IS A PERSONAL STATEMENT.
If you can be yourself, why should you follow the crowd?
Shop-A-Holic!!!
As a female, on top of being a young adult in Singapore (the country where shopping has become one of its utmost entertainment), people like to compartmentalize me with other shopaholics. I am often disturbed by this irresponsible statement, as I myself can’t really understand the enjoyment of shopping excessively. Please note the word “excessively”.
I have a friend from high school who studied in Melbourne, Australia. Her favorite holiday destination is Hong Kong and Singapore, for no other reasons than the shopping spree. She really shocked me once when she told one of her shopping adventure. So off she went to Hong Kong from Australia. Lucky for her, her bank account can quench her eyes’ hunger for fine goods. Yes, she always goes for branded ones. Having the luggage full, she continued her journey to her hometown, Jakarta. And you don’t need to be a genius to guess what’s next, she again shopped in the glitzy and luscious boutiques which swarm around the heart of the metropolitan city. With logical calculation, we can already deduce that her luggage is insufficient to contain all of her shopping outcomes. Half of them must be separated from their newly owner, and only God knows whether they ever come into usage.
Around two weeks ago, I visited another high school friend’s apartment here in Singapore. For the first ten minutes my eyes were fixed to her shoe racks. Then, with my eyes still on them, I asked her how many girls are there in the apartment. One. Apparently, all pairs of shoes that I saw were hers. All!!!! I don’t know how many of them. You can find many models, colors, tones, moods, etc. I just don’t understand how often she wears each of them.
I just knew few days back that girls are usually crazy about (high-heel) sandals. Their arguments that sandals are easily worn-off become their passports and valid reason to buy (few) new pairs. Some people can even grab five pairs in less than half an hour. It is more than the total number of pairs that I am getting for myself in one year, unless there are urgent needs arising.
I just can’t see the point of shopping so many things, without even knowing how much their value for money will be, i.e. how often will you use/wear them and how functional will they be.
I guess (it’s just a hunch so please correct me if I’m wrong) there is a certain satisfaction incurred by every shopping done. It happens that it is possessed more in females rather than males (and why does it miss me by the way?)
Me, I always feel dizzy in shopping centers. In malls. In department stores!!! Where people swarming around with piles of things to be tried, how can you concentrate of what you really NEED?? I don’t see the points why people like to buy those fancy shoes and sandals, while neglecting the comfort, which is supposed to be the main criteria? I often see ladies walking uncomfortably (and rather limping) with much effort just for the sake of wearing and showing these cute fancy koocee koocee poo (very) high-heel sandals to the people walking around Orchard Road.
I DO appreciate finer things of life. Luxurious goods DO appeal to me. Nevertheless, quality, functionality and value-for-money will always have my first priority. Rather than buying so many sandals with different colors and models, I would rather buy one with classic models, which can go along with most of my outfits, comfortable, reliable and long-lasting though the price may be thrice or even five times of those fancy sandals. I don’t mind wearing the same pair of shoes for years, at least I can be the walking advertisement for the brand for its robustness =P.
Why should I spend my hard-earned money for things that I would only use for once or few times in my life?
Why should I suffer myself with those blisters and leg-cramp only for the sake of style?
How it functions is all that matters.
There’s no offensive nor defensive remarks intended from this musing. So please don’t take it personally, people have their own way to live (and spend their money) anyway. It is just… well, you know… just scribbles.
Please just don’t generalize young female adults in Singapore as shopaholic and Charles and Keith fans.
And what kind of satisfaction that you get after shopping?
I have a friend from high school who studied in Melbourne, Australia. Her favorite holiday destination is Hong Kong and Singapore, for no other reasons than the shopping spree. She really shocked me once when she told one of her shopping adventure. So off she went to Hong Kong from Australia. Lucky for her, her bank account can quench her eyes’ hunger for fine goods. Yes, she always goes for branded ones. Having the luggage full, she continued her journey to her hometown, Jakarta. And you don’t need to be a genius to guess what’s next, she again shopped in the glitzy and luscious boutiques which swarm around the heart of the metropolitan city. With logical calculation, we can already deduce that her luggage is insufficient to contain all of her shopping outcomes. Half of them must be separated from their newly owner, and only God knows whether they ever come into usage.
Around two weeks ago, I visited another high school friend’s apartment here in Singapore. For the first ten minutes my eyes were fixed to her shoe racks. Then, with my eyes still on them, I asked her how many girls are there in the apartment. One. Apparently, all pairs of shoes that I saw were hers. All!!!! I don’t know how many of them. You can find many models, colors, tones, moods, etc. I just don’t understand how often she wears each of them.
I just knew few days back that girls are usually crazy about (high-heel) sandals. Their arguments that sandals are easily worn-off become their passports and valid reason to buy (few) new pairs. Some people can even grab five pairs in less than half an hour. It is more than the total number of pairs that I am getting for myself in one year, unless there are urgent needs arising.
I just can’t see the point of shopping so many things, without even knowing how much their value for money will be, i.e. how often will you use/wear them and how functional will they be.
I guess (it’s just a hunch so please correct me if I’m wrong) there is a certain satisfaction incurred by every shopping done. It happens that it is possessed more in females rather than males (and why does it miss me by the way?)
Me, I always feel dizzy in shopping centers. In malls. In department stores!!! Where people swarming around with piles of things to be tried, how can you concentrate of what you really NEED?? I don’t see the points why people like to buy those fancy shoes and sandals, while neglecting the comfort, which is supposed to be the main criteria? I often see ladies walking uncomfortably (and rather limping) with much effort just for the sake of wearing and showing these cute fancy koocee koocee poo (very) high-heel sandals to the people walking around Orchard Road.
I DO appreciate finer things of life. Luxurious goods DO appeal to me. Nevertheless, quality, functionality and value-for-money will always have my first priority. Rather than buying so many sandals with different colors and models, I would rather buy one with classic models, which can go along with most of my outfits, comfortable, reliable and long-lasting though the price may be thrice or even five times of those fancy sandals. I don’t mind wearing the same pair of shoes for years, at least I can be the walking advertisement for the brand for its robustness =P.
Why should I spend my hard-earned money for things that I would only use for once or few times in my life?
Why should I suffer myself with those blisters and leg-cramp only for the sake of style?
How it functions is all that matters.
There’s no offensive nor defensive remarks intended from this musing. So please don’t take it personally, people have their own way to live (and spend their money) anyway. It is just… well, you know… just scribbles.
Please just don’t generalize young female adults in Singapore as shopaholic and Charles and Keith fans.
And what kind of satisfaction that you get after shopping?
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
I feel like a loser
I am leaving my challengeful position
I will never deal with things that used to dread me most anymore
They will not knead myself to the max anymore
I will not squeeze my brain crazily to juice out solutions for problems which are beyond my knowledge anymore
The perfection of image quality will not bother me anymore.
I chose a more rosy path, the one closer to my dreams (well.... I think, and I wish)
But...
Do I lack perseverance?
Where is my determination?
Am I selfish to choose a more comfortable road?
A statement from the past:
The Secret of Life is to like what you have to do and not to do what you like.
Have I failed it?
I feel like a loser.
And yet I want to achieve my stellar dreams... which are still rather obscure until now.
Is it a mere disillusion?
Is what I THINK I would love deceiving my eyes?
Is there a turning back along the way?
Why and why and why?
Life is indeed full of mystery.....
The Pondering Thought of A Straddling and Bifurcating Soul
I will never deal with things that used to dread me most anymore
They will not knead myself to the max anymore
I will not squeeze my brain crazily to juice out solutions for problems which are beyond my knowledge anymore
The perfection of image quality will not bother me anymore.
I chose a more rosy path, the one closer to my dreams (well.... I think, and I wish)
But...
Do I lack perseverance?
Where is my determination?
Am I selfish to choose a more comfortable road?
A statement from the past:
The Secret of Life is to like what you have to do and not to do what you like.
Have I failed it?
I feel like a loser.
And yet I want to achieve my stellar dreams... which are still rather obscure until now.
Is it a mere disillusion?
Is what I THINK I would love deceiving my eyes?
Is there a turning back along the way?
Why and why and why?
Life is indeed full of mystery.....
The Pondering Thought of A Straddling and Bifurcating Soul
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Temanku jadi Mamiiiiiiiiiiii
Saya mempunyai seorang teman. Initialnya L. L adalah rekan saya semasa kami masih belia. Semasa wajah masih mulus tanpa kerut (ya sampe sekarang juga sih), semasa rambut masih hitam tanpa uban (sampe sekarang juga sih) dan… oh ya, semasa Bapak Pembangunan kita Soeharto masih memegang tampuk kepemimpinan di tanah air.
Sekelas sama si L ini waktu kelas 2F di SMU Santa Ursula. Di salah satu penghujung lantai dua gedung yang bernuansa hijau itu kita pertama kali berada dalam satu kelas. Kelas yang luas dan adem di deketnya Lab Biologi (tapi tidak pernah ada arwah nyelonong-nyelonong masuk kelas walau di lab tersebut bersemayam serangkaian skeleton dan tengkorak). Kayaknya di kelas tersebut juga kita sering denger suara “weker nyasar”. Setiap jam 7-an gitu pasti tiba-tiba ada suara weker berdering kenceng banget, entah dari biara atau asrama.
Sekolah kami adalah sekolah khusus wanita. Beraneka ragam wanita bisa ditemukan di sana. Soprano, mezzo-soprano, alto. Merdu atau bagai kelelawar batuk. Pintar banget atau pintar and nothing’s below hehehehe =). Anak IPA, IPS, Bahasa. Bertampang alim ataupun gahar. Beraura suster biara ataupun preman. Yang jelas kami adalah cewek-cewek happy (bukan girang – red.) yang nyablak, rame, dan ada faktor gilanya sedikit.
Kasih nick name ke temen jelas biasa banget, kadang sampai nama aslinya dilupakan. Mungkin cuma suster dan BuDe guru matematika kami yang tau dan hafal nama lengkap masing-masing anak (memang daya ingat mereka ruaarr biazzaa). Akhirnya kena lah si L ini dipanggil Ncim.
Si Ncim ini anaknya pinter. Anaknya kreatif. Anaknya perhatian banget sama temen-temen yang lain. Penampilannya tuh “cewek” banget, species langka di sekolah kami (lho katanya sekolah cewek?) – manis, anggun dan alim. Tapi ya seperti layaknya anak sanur yang berpenampilan alim, sebagian besar dari mereka hanyalah serigala berbulu domba belaka, si Ncim ini tidak terkecuali.
Suaranya lembuuuut, haluuuuuss, dan pelan. Ritmenya teratur. Tetapi isi tutur katanya bisa menukik (emang elang?), mencabik (elangnya udah nangkep ayam), menusuk (ayamnya udah disate), penuh napsu (sate ayamnya udah dibumbuin bumbu kacang.. sluurrp). Tenang aja, dia gak sebuas itu kok. Kisah “Elang Makan Sate” ini cuma berlaku kalo dia lagi nanya guru soal pelajaran, terutama Fisika. Jadi bayangin deh, si Ncim ini duduk dengan anggun, menjulurkan tangan ke atas minta dipanggil Pak Hitam Manis dengan elegansi seorang Ratu Victoria, setelah dipanggil dia akan mengedip-ngedipkan matanya sejenak sebelum melakukan serangan elang makan sate itu. Tapi semuanya dilakukan dalam satu ritme. Ketika udah kenyang makan sate pake bumbu kacang itu (sluurrp) dia pun kembali menatap si bapak malang dengan matanya yang redup-redup lembut tapi di balik itu berkata “Ayo jawab cepetan bisa gak!! Ntar gua sate lagi baru tau rasa...”
Awal-awal gua suka rada ngantuk gitu dengerin dia nanya si bapak malang atau guru-guru lain. Tapi lama-lama jadi kagum dan rada minder hahahaha =D
Di suatu hari yang naas kelas kita dipindah ke sebelahnya sebelahnya ruang gamelan (ini bukan typo error, maksudnya sebelahnya ruangan yang ada di sebelahnya ruang gamelan… ya gitu deh ngerti kan?). Kelas itu puanasnyaaaaaaaaa ampun deh, cuma asyiknya bisa ngecengin orang-orang yang ke kantor pos (iya, kalo orangnya naek genteng). Sayang Ari Wibowo dulu terlalu sibuk untuk piknik di atas genteng kantor pos.
Di kelas baru ini, si Ncim juga masih seperti yang dulu (hehe ya iyalah…) bisa ngomong dengan halus. By the way si Ncim kalo ketawa juga ritmenya teratur… tapi gak berhenti-berhenti sampe matanya hilang. Temen baiknya dia di kelas, si S, juga kalo ketawa terkenal suka terkekeh-kekeh (jadi ketawa dengan ritme teratur ini nge trend dulu di 2F).
Tapiiiii…. Si Ncim ketawa kayak gini cuma kalo lagi inget jaga image aja. Gak jarang tiba-tiba dia melengking “Rheaaaaaa….!!!” Atau “Daisssyyyyyyy….” Atau siapapun lah dilanjutkan dengan “WUAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKA”
Suatu ketika sebuah tugas berat dijatuhkan pada kita berdua (dooh, gak segitunya deh) yaitu membuat denah kelas. Denah kelas di Sanur dulu suka aneh-aneh. Bisa ada foto bayi segala… padahal dulu pas jaman SD denah kelas cuma sebatas kertas bertuliskan nama dan diselipin ke slot yang tersedia di kertas lain. Daripada jauh-jauh piknik ke museum, mendingan datengin aja kelas di sanur satu persatu dan ngeliatin denah kelasnya yang gak ada yang mirip!! Ada yang bisa berdiri, nungging, duduk, tidur… Everything stands out.
Merasa tertantang untuk gak jadi malu-maluin (wajah 2F ada di tangan kita!! Duh hiperbola banget haha) akhirnya gua dan Ncim pun berkasak-kusuk menelurkan ide-ide yang kreatip (maunya sih) tapi gak nyape’in kita (sebagai designer and pembuat). Dan Ncim dengan suaranya yang sayup-sayup sampai tapi menukik dan sebagainya itu pun menjelaskan konsepnya ke gua. Gua manggut-manggut tanda setuju dan ngantuk. Dari konsep tersebut akhirnya kita berdua menggodok design nya dan jadilah denah terluas (A3 size kayaknya, luaaaaasss banget deh) di Sanur (untuk era itu) dan mengundang pujian dari Pak Agama dan Ibu Sejarah sebagai walikelas kami. Cihuy!!!
Konsep dari si Ncim, dia pengen denah yang mencerminkan pribadi masing-masing siswa di kelas kami yang emang beraneka ragam banget. Akhirnya dia nyuruh anak-anak nyari atau bikin gambar bunga yang paling sesuai dengan karakter mereka dan yang paling mereka suka. Tadinya kita agak apatis juga, takutnya pada enggan untuk ikutan partisipasi dalam pembuatan denah ini hehehe. Wuah ternyata tidak sama sekali, saudara-saudara… dan ajaibnya gambar bunga itu bener-bener sesuai dengan karakter masing-masing. Gua inget banget ada satu anak yang kasi gambar super simple dan warnanya cuma beige dan putih. Dia bilang gini “jangan diganti yah, emang sederhana banget tapi gua sukanya yang kayak gini.” Ohhh jelas tidak akan kita suruh ganti karena memang itu tujuannya kan? Dan yang centil-centil bisa kasih gambar bunga warna stabilo a la flamenco. Ada yang kasih gaya romantis, gaya kontemporer.. Dan yang paling complicated adalah siapa lagi kalo bukan gua (rhea banget!!) karena gua gunting-gunting sendiri kelopak bunganya dan gua susun sendiri…jadi itu model gua, warna gua, bunga gua yang tiada duanya… duh ga penting amat sih. Kalo ada yang tanya bunga apa tuh? Jawabannya Bunga Rhea… soalnya gua juga ga tau itu apaan wuakakakkaka =D.
Si Ncim kebagian tugas ngumpulin tuh gambar bunga dan dibikin sedemikian rupa sehingga ada namanya. Sementara gua tugas bikin background-nya alias the garden. Terinspirasi oleh style-nya Lolita Lempicka, jadilah Art Deco background yang gua bikin dengan Caran d’Ache crayon gua yang udah jarang gua pake tapi masih ada sampe sekarang. Full colour bolak balik, yang lebih polos untuk “nanem” kembangnya. Jadi kalo guru-guru mau manggil murid (disuruh jawab atau apalah, biasalah guru SMU) dia akan tertegun dan menikmati “pemandangan kebon” itu sejenak sebelom manggil. Jadilah beberapa detik habis dari jam pelajaran kita (duh bokis). Dan kalo ulangan kadang ada guru yang ngeliat-liatin tuh “kebon” jadi lebih gampang buat kita untuk nyontek (ya siapa tau ada yang butuh).
Itulah kenangan paling dahsyat yang gua punya dengan si Ncim. Karena ketika kita kerja bareng itu kita jadi lebih kenal satu sama lain dan jadi lebih deket. Sampe ketika sama-sama lanjut ke NTU Singapore sini kita juga masih deket walau beda sekolah, beda kegiatan, beda pacar (ya iya lah!!), beda tempat tinggal… Tapi tiap ketemu pasti masih ada koneksinya dan SMS jalan terus… Undangan wedding pertama yang diatasnamakan ke gua juga berasal dari dia di tahun 2003.
Dan yak, si Ncim sekarang udah memasuki phase baru dalam hidupnya…. To be A MOTHER!!! Dia udah melahirkan tanggal 11 July kemaren. Disambut dengan gegap gempita oleh gua (dooh, heboh) dan temen-temen sealmamater yang lain yang jelas. Guru-guru di Sanur, watch out!! Siapa tau si Baby D ini akan melanjutkan profesi Ncim sebagai penyerang terutama di Fisika dengan suaranya yang lemah lembut mendayu aduhai tetapi isinya menukik, mencabik, menusuk….
Sekelas sama si L ini waktu kelas 2F di SMU Santa Ursula. Di salah satu penghujung lantai dua gedung yang bernuansa hijau itu kita pertama kali berada dalam satu kelas. Kelas yang luas dan adem di deketnya Lab Biologi (tapi tidak pernah ada arwah nyelonong-nyelonong masuk kelas walau di lab tersebut bersemayam serangkaian skeleton dan tengkorak). Kayaknya di kelas tersebut juga kita sering denger suara “weker nyasar”. Setiap jam 7-an gitu pasti tiba-tiba ada suara weker berdering kenceng banget, entah dari biara atau asrama.
Sekolah kami adalah sekolah khusus wanita. Beraneka ragam wanita bisa ditemukan di sana. Soprano, mezzo-soprano, alto. Merdu atau bagai kelelawar batuk. Pintar banget atau pintar and nothing’s below hehehehe =). Anak IPA, IPS, Bahasa. Bertampang alim ataupun gahar. Beraura suster biara ataupun preman. Yang jelas kami adalah cewek-cewek happy (bukan girang – red.) yang nyablak, rame, dan ada faktor gilanya sedikit.
Kasih nick name ke temen jelas biasa banget, kadang sampai nama aslinya dilupakan. Mungkin cuma suster dan BuDe guru matematika kami yang tau dan hafal nama lengkap masing-masing anak (memang daya ingat mereka ruaarr biazzaa). Akhirnya kena lah si L ini dipanggil Ncim.
Si Ncim ini anaknya pinter. Anaknya kreatif. Anaknya perhatian banget sama temen-temen yang lain. Penampilannya tuh “cewek” banget, species langka di sekolah kami (lho katanya sekolah cewek?) – manis, anggun dan alim. Tapi ya seperti layaknya anak sanur yang berpenampilan alim, sebagian besar dari mereka hanyalah serigala berbulu domba belaka, si Ncim ini tidak terkecuali.
Suaranya lembuuuut, haluuuuuss, dan pelan. Ritmenya teratur. Tetapi isi tutur katanya bisa menukik (emang elang?), mencabik (elangnya udah nangkep ayam), menusuk (ayamnya udah disate), penuh napsu (sate ayamnya udah dibumbuin bumbu kacang.. sluurrp). Tenang aja, dia gak sebuas itu kok. Kisah “Elang Makan Sate” ini cuma berlaku kalo dia lagi nanya guru soal pelajaran, terutama Fisika. Jadi bayangin deh, si Ncim ini duduk dengan anggun, menjulurkan tangan ke atas minta dipanggil Pak Hitam Manis dengan elegansi seorang Ratu Victoria, setelah dipanggil dia akan mengedip-ngedipkan matanya sejenak sebelum melakukan serangan elang makan sate itu. Tapi semuanya dilakukan dalam satu ritme. Ketika udah kenyang makan sate pake bumbu kacang itu (sluurrp) dia pun kembali menatap si bapak malang dengan matanya yang redup-redup lembut tapi di balik itu berkata “Ayo jawab cepetan bisa gak!! Ntar gua sate lagi baru tau rasa...”
Awal-awal gua suka rada ngantuk gitu dengerin dia nanya si bapak malang atau guru-guru lain. Tapi lama-lama jadi kagum dan rada minder hahahaha =D
Di suatu hari yang naas kelas kita dipindah ke sebelahnya sebelahnya ruang gamelan (ini bukan typo error, maksudnya sebelahnya ruangan yang ada di sebelahnya ruang gamelan… ya gitu deh ngerti kan?). Kelas itu puanasnyaaaaaaaaa ampun deh, cuma asyiknya bisa ngecengin orang-orang yang ke kantor pos (iya, kalo orangnya naek genteng). Sayang Ari Wibowo dulu terlalu sibuk untuk piknik di atas genteng kantor pos.
Di kelas baru ini, si Ncim juga masih seperti yang dulu (hehe ya iyalah…) bisa ngomong dengan halus. By the way si Ncim kalo ketawa juga ritmenya teratur… tapi gak berhenti-berhenti sampe matanya hilang. Temen baiknya dia di kelas, si S, juga kalo ketawa terkenal suka terkekeh-kekeh (jadi ketawa dengan ritme teratur ini nge trend dulu di 2F).
Tapiiiii…. Si Ncim ketawa kayak gini cuma kalo lagi inget jaga image aja. Gak jarang tiba-tiba dia melengking “Rheaaaaaa….!!!” Atau “Daisssyyyyyyy….” Atau siapapun lah dilanjutkan dengan “WUAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKA”
Suatu ketika sebuah tugas berat dijatuhkan pada kita berdua (dooh, gak segitunya deh) yaitu membuat denah kelas. Denah kelas di Sanur dulu suka aneh-aneh. Bisa ada foto bayi segala… padahal dulu pas jaman SD denah kelas cuma sebatas kertas bertuliskan nama dan diselipin ke slot yang tersedia di kertas lain. Daripada jauh-jauh piknik ke museum, mendingan datengin aja kelas di sanur satu persatu dan ngeliatin denah kelasnya yang gak ada yang mirip!! Ada yang bisa berdiri, nungging, duduk, tidur… Everything stands out.
Merasa tertantang untuk gak jadi malu-maluin (wajah 2F ada di tangan kita!! Duh hiperbola banget haha) akhirnya gua dan Ncim pun berkasak-kusuk menelurkan ide-ide yang kreatip (maunya sih) tapi gak nyape’in kita (sebagai designer and pembuat). Dan Ncim dengan suaranya yang sayup-sayup sampai tapi menukik dan sebagainya itu pun menjelaskan konsepnya ke gua. Gua manggut-manggut tanda setuju dan ngantuk. Dari konsep tersebut akhirnya kita berdua menggodok design nya dan jadilah denah terluas (A3 size kayaknya, luaaaaasss banget deh) di Sanur (untuk era itu) dan mengundang pujian dari Pak Agama dan Ibu Sejarah sebagai walikelas kami. Cihuy!!!
Konsep dari si Ncim, dia pengen denah yang mencerminkan pribadi masing-masing siswa di kelas kami yang emang beraneka ragam banget. Akhirnya dia nyuruh anak-anak nyari atau bikin gambar bunga yang paling sesuai dengan karakter mereka dan yang paling mereka suka. Tadinya kita agak apatis juga, takutnya pada enggan untuk ikutan partisipasi dalam pembuatan denah ini hehehe. Wuah ternyata tidak sama sekali, saudara-saudara… dan ajaibnya gambar bunga itu bener-bener sesuai dengan karakter masing-masing. Gua inget banget ada satu anak yang kasi gambar super simple dan warnanya cuma beige dan putih. Dia bilang gini “jangan diganti yah, emang sederhana banget tapi gua sukanya yang kayak gini.” Ohhh jelas tidak akan kita suruh ganti karena memang itu tujuannya kan? Dan yang centil-centil bisa kasih gambar bunga warna stabilo a la flamenco. Ada yang kasih gaya romantis, gaya kontemporer.. Dan yang paling complicated adalah siapa lagi kalo bukan gua (rhea banget!!) karena gua gunting-gunting sendiri kelopak bunganya dan gua susun sendiri…jadi itu model gua, warna gua, bunga gua yang tiada duanya… duh ga penting amat sih. Kalo ada yang tanya bunga apa tuh? Jawabannya Bunga Rhea… soalnya gua juga ga tau itu apaan wuakakakkaka =D.
Si Ncim kebagian tugas ngumpulin tuh gambar bunga dan dibikin sedemikian rupa sehingga ada namanya. Sementara gua tugas bikin background-nya alias the garden. Terinspirasi oleh style-nya Lolita Lempicka, jadilah Art Deco background yang gua bikin dengan Caran d’Ache crayon gua yang udah jarang gua pake tapi masih ada sampe sekarang. Full colour bolak balik, yang lebih polos untuk “nanem” kembangnya. Jadi kalo guru-guru mau manggil murid (disuruh jawab atau apalah, biasalah guru SMU) dia akan tertegun dan menikmati “pemandangan kebon” itu sejenak sebelom manggil. Jadilah beberapa detik habis dari jam pelajaran kita (duh bokis). Dan kalo ulangan kadang ada guru yang ngeliat-liatin tuh “kebon” jadi lebih gampang buat kita untuk nyontek (ya siapa tau ada yang butuh).
Itulah kenangan paling dahsyat yang gua punya dengan si Ncim. Karena ketika kita kerja bareng itu kita jadi lebih kenal satu sama lain dan jadi lebih deket. Sampe ketika sama-sama lanjut ke NTU Singapore sini kita juga masih deket walau beda sekolah, beda kegiatan, beda pacar (ya iya lah!!), beda tempat tinggal… Tapi tiap ketemu pasti masih ada koneksinya dan SMS jalan terus… Undangan wedding pertama yang diatasnamakan ke gua juga berasal dari dia di tahun 2003.
Dan yak, si Ncim sekarang udah memasuki phase baru dalam hidupnya…. To be A MOTHER!!! Dia udah melahirkan tanggal 11 July kemaren. Disambut dengan gegap gempita oleh gua (dooh, heboh) dan temen-temen sealmamater yang lain yang jelas. Guru-guru di Sanur, watch out!! Siapa tau si Baby D ini akan melanjutkan profesi Ncim sebagai penyerang terutama di Fisika dengan suaranya yang lemah lembut mendayu aduhai tetapi isinya menukik, mencabik, menusuk….
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
"A messy thread-ball..."
We are all now very familiar with the wonders that a world wide web can do to our lives. A novel innovation called Friendster has done thousands or even millions of them. Many are connected with friends in olden and golden days, some have even found their spouses from the network.
I was again reconnected with one of my close friend in primary school, D. Somehow one of our common friend works with him now and she (W) is connected to my close friend from NTU, T. And while T and I (as in - me - not an initial =P) were waiting for a bus to go roller-blading in East Coast Park, his name (D's) was mentioned (somehow) and... well, the story continues.
We haven't seen each other for a good 12 years. 12 years since we received our primary school transcripts - which means almost null today.
We both like to draw and paint in those younger days. And I believe, even until now. He happens to be in Singapore today so we had a short conversation over the phone.
He told me that there is something about me that he can't wipe it off from his head until now... So "impressive" to him that he still remembers very vividly until today....
I think it happened around 14 years ago... or 15? Can't really be sure.
I liked to be a challenger back then ha ha ha =D. Small (I had not grown vertically), extremely skinny, nerdy-looking with my already-thick-for-primary-school-kids glasses, extra-loud voice... I bet I just looked like a girl you love to hate in a kids television programme =)
I remember I sometimes told people "Draw any lines in any shapes you like, I will definitely be able to finish it into a drawing"
And D, being a good artist, took up the challenge and drew an entanglement of nothing. In short, he drew a mess. And with coolness emanating in my aura, I continued the mess and "submitted" the drawing to him with super-confidence shown on my face.
"What is that?", he asked.
"A messy thread-ball", I said, with no-surrendering expression.
Oh my my my... what a nerve.
Until now, I always think that my it's-how-i-like-my-world-to-be-so-back-off attitude and my so-what expression creeped in to my soul as I grew older. D has just reminded me that it has actually been embedded and flowing through my vein since such a young age.
Viva benang kusut!!!
I was again reconnected with one of my close friend in primary school, D. Somehow one of our common friend works with him now and she (W) is connected to my close friend from NTU, T. And while T and I (as in - me - not an initial =P) were waiting for a bus to go roller-blading in East Coast Park, his name (D's) was mentioned (somehow) and... well, the story continues.
We haven't seen each other for a good 12 years. 12 years since we received our primary school transcripts - which means almost null today.
We both like to draw and paint in those younger days. And I believe, even until now. He happens to be in Singapore today so we had a short conversation over the phone.
He told me that there is something about me that he can't wipe it off from his head until now... So "impressive" to him that he still remembers very vividly until today....
I think it happened around 14 years ago... or 15? Can't really be sure.
I liked to be a challenger back then ha ha ha =D. Small (I had not grown vertically), extremely skinny, nerdy-looking with my already-thick-for-primary-school-kids glasses, extra-loud voice... I bet I just looked like a girl you love to hate in a kids television programme =)
I remember I sometimes told people "Draw any lines in any shapes you like, I will definitely be able to finish it into a drawing"
And D, being a good artist, took up the challenge and drew an entanglement of nothing. In short, he drew a mess. And with coolness emanating in my aura, I continued the mess and "submitted" the drawing to him with super-confidence shown on my face.
"What is that?", he asked.
"A messy thread-ball", I said, with no-surrendering expression.
Oh my my my... what a nerve.
Until now, I always think that my it's-how-i-like-my-world-to-be-so-back-off attitude and my so-what expression creeped in to my soul as I grew older. D has just reminded me that it has actually been embedded and flowing through my vein since such a young age.
Viva benang kusut!!!
Oooaaahhhmmm
*Yawn*
I don't know what season are Tse-Tse Flies are going through now, but what I know is that they are now actively atacking Homo Sapiens species, or at least those in my office room.
For those of you who have forgotten about Tse-Tse Flies, they are the flies who like to happily sprinkle the sleepiness virus over people, sinful and not sinful alike =)
My after-lunch cup of Kopi Luwak (Civet Cat coffee) didn't help much. I was still dozing off over my work desk. And I managed to steal 10 minutes of nap!! Funnily enough, I was suddenly wide awake when the thumping noise stops.
"Oh, well.... the unit has completed its 100 cycles and I just need to run the next cycle"
So there I was, on my work desk. On the other desk on the other alley, my unit was frantically running its life cycle test. And the thumping noise has become my lullaby...
What an irony... At night, a single noise can jeopardize my beauty (eh?!?!?!?) sleep. Perfect tranquility is a must. Pitch-black and zero noise. Even then, I am still insomniac at times.
And on a broad daylight, what I craved most was a nap. A sleep. A slumber. Whatever you may call it.
And now the yawn has suddenly gone... May be a cup of coffee combined with a short nap is a good medicine...
I don't know what season are Tse-Tse Flies are going through now, but what I know is that they are now actively atacking Homo Sapiens species, or at least those in my office room.
For those of you who have forgotten about Tse-Tse Flies, they are the flies who like to happily sprinkle the sleepiness virus over people, sinful and not sinful alike =)
My after-lunch cup of Kopi Luwak (Civet Cat coffee) didn't help much. I was still dozing off over my work desk. And I managed to steal 10 minutes of nap!! Funnily enough, I was suddenly wide awake when the thumping noise stops.
"Oh, well.... the unit has completed its 100 cycles and I just need to run the next cycle"
So there I was, on my work desk. On the other desk on the other alley, my unit was frantically running its life cycle test. And the thumping noise has become my lullaby...
What an irony... At night, a single noise can jeopardize my beauty (eh?!?!?!?) sleep. Perfect tranquility is a must. Pitch-black and zero noise. Even then, I am still insomniac at times.
And on a broad daylight, what I craved most was a nap. A sleep. A slumber. Whatever you may call it.
And now the yawn has suddenly gone... May be a cup of coffee combined with a short nap is a good medicine...
Sunday, July 03, 2005
The Wedding Speech
Elaine, the gorgeous bride has asked me to deliver a speech in her beautiful wedding ceremony on 26th June 2005 at Tirtha Uluwatu, Bali. I nodded yes at that time, not realizing that it was a heavy task on my shoulder.
Why is it heavy?
Firstly, it will be part of one of the most memorable day in Leo and Elaine’s life, one milestone in their blissful marriage life. Surely I would have to chip in accordingly. I simply couldn’t take this task lightly and just give a speech as I wish.
Secondly, I have stage-freight. Funnily enough, many people think that I have a high confidence. I can directly look at the people when I talk, but my voice and legs will all be shaky. I just couldn’t imagine how I would stand before hundreds of people and delivering a wedding speech.
Thirdly, I have never, ever, known in my life how a wedding speech is like. I seldom attend weddings, so wedding speech is still alien to me.
Well, not knowing what a wedding speech sounds like can be a good thing actually, in the sense that I can make it an original one (cieeeeehhh…). As long as it is still of an acceptable standard, of course.
So, for around one and a half months the time given to prepare the speech, I kept procrastinating doing it. There must always be something that came along the way. Even my weekends were always occupied by something. My weekdays were already full with my office workload, where my project is now at a heightened stage.
‘Til the last weekend came before I flew off to Bali, I still didn’t manage to find a time or to find a nice and unique way to deliver the speech. Then, OK, I think I would just make it during the two and a half hours flight.
I did make something in the plane. But it was very… blatant. Very… ordinary. Nothing’s special. It was just like filling up a void. It’s only better than nothing.
It was only until around 16 hours before that speech that I found something to say, though it was still incomplete. Ironically, it was an accident that inspired me. Even my friends supported the idea of mentioning the accident that we had in the wedding speech.
I made an analogy of the accident that we had in Kudeta’s sands at 00.00 – 02.00 am (Bali Time) with their marriage life, though they are as different as heaven and earth. Ours only lasted for two hours, but theirs will be forever. Problems and stormy moments will come now and then. Sometimes they will see no lights at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes they will see helps as threats. Sometimes they will lose trust on each other. The time may come when their faith fades and hope falters. The grip of life loosens. Just keep trying. Keep pushing. Keep digging. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when required, and knowing always that all problems must have a solution.
As for them, their love has been united and blessed in the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit as they exchanged their wedding vow in front of the altar. This beautiful wedding scene in the chapel (with breathtaking sea view as background) also inspired me to add something in my speech =P.
Ha ha ha…. =D Actually I thought that my speech must have something which makes it more… well, sounds more sophisticated (cieeeehh…). Captivated by the beauty of the Sacrament of Matrimony, I thought of putting something about LOVE in it. As I had no time to prepare, so I just took the chorus portion of the closing song which I wrote for “Perhaps Love” The Musical. Well, it is still my original work and they truly really reflect the sacredness of love in my eyes. Impromptu and yet well-prepared =P. So I memorized each word from that chorus, and here goes:
There is one thing we call LOVEThe greatest mystery revealed
Some say it hurts, but more it heals
It makes you alive, and it may also kill
It is the reason to cry and laughter it may bring forth
It is the only reason your heart fights with your head
But hold on to it you will know when it arrives
Love is God, we obey and pray
That’s all we have to say
Ha ha ha…. =D This piece made my speech sounded a bit like well-prepared.
I continued the speech by catapulting us back to nine years ago, when I first knew Elaine as a bright and respectable senior in Santa Ursula High School. Our rollercoaster ride of friendship started taking off in NTU, Singapore though. Since then, we have shared many things, including some embarrassing moments =P.
Phew, finally my first ever wedding speech is done. Come to think about it, for an unprepared speech I think it was not bad.
Why is it heavy?
Firstly, it will be part of one of the most memorable day in Leo and Elaine’s life, one milestone in their blissful marriage life. Surely I would have to chip in accordingly. I simply couldn’t take this task lightly and just give a speech as I wish.
Secondly, I have stage-freight. Funnily enough, many people think that I have a high confidence. I can directly look at the people when I talk, but my voice and legs will all be shaky. I just couldn’t imagine how I would stand before hundreds of people and delivering a wedding speech.
Thirdly, I have never, ever, known in my life how a wedding speech is like. I seldom attend weddings, so wedding speech is still alien to me.
Well, not knowing what a wedding speech sounds like can be a good thing actually, in the sense that I can make it an original one (cieeeeehhh…). As long as it is still of an acceptable standard, of course.
So, for around one and a half months the time given to prepare the speech, I kept procrastinating doing it. There must always be something that came along the way. Even my weekends were always occupied by something. My weekdays were already full with my office workload, where my project is now at a heightened stage.
‘Til the last weekend came before I flew off to Bali, I still didn’t manage to find a time or to find a nice and unique way to deliver the speech. Then, OK, I think I would just make it during the two and a half hours flight.
I did make something in the plane. But it was very… blatant. Very… ordinary. Nothing’s special. It was just like filling up a void. It’s only better than nothing.
It was only until around 16 hours before that speech that I found something to say, though it was still incomplete. Ironically, it was an accident that inspired me. Even my friends supported the idea of mentioning the accident that we had in the wedding speech.
I made an analogy of the accident that we had in Kudeta’s sands at 00.00 – 02.00 am (Bali Time) with their marriage life, though they are as different as heaven and earth. Ours only lasted for two hours, but theirs will be forever. Problems and stormy moments will come now and then. Sometimes they will see no lights at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes they will see helps as threats. Sometimes they will lose trust on each other. The time may come when their faith fades and hope falters. The grip of life loosens. Just keep trying. Keep pushing. Keep digging. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when required, and knowing always that all problems must have a solution.
As for them, their love has been united and blessed in the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit as they exchanged their wedding vow in front of the altar. This beautiful wedding scene in the chapel (with breathtaking sea view as background) also inspired me to add something in my speech =P.
Ha ha ha…. =D Actually I thought that my speech must have something which makes it more… well, sounds more sophisticated (cieeeehh…). Captivated by the beauty of the Sacrament of Matrimony, I thought of putting something about LOVE in it. As I had no time to prepare, so I just took the chorus portion of the closing song which I wrote for “Perhaps Love” The Musical. Well, it is still my original work and they truly really reflect the sacredness of love in my eyes. Impromptu and yet well-prepared =P. So I memorized each word from that chorus, and here goes:
There is one thing we call LOVEThe greatest mystery revealed
Some say it hurts, but more it heals
It makes you alive, and it may also kill
It is the reason to cry and laughter it may bring forth
It is the only reason your heart fights with your head
But hold on to it you will know when it arrives
Love is God, we obey and pray
That’s all we have to say
Ha ha ha…. =D This piece made my speech sounded a bit like well-prepared.
I continued the speech by catapulting us back to nine years ago, when I first knew Elaine as a bright and respectable senior in Santa Ursula High School. Our rollercoaster ride of friendship started taking off in NTU, Singapore though. Since then, we have shared many things, including some embarrassing moments =P.
Phew, finally my first ever wedding speech is done. Come to think about it, for an unprepared speech I think it was not bad.
Monkey Attack!!!!
25th of June 2005 was my first day of holiday in Bali. It was.. impressive, I can say. On that day, many new things happened to me. On 24th, I arrived in Ngurah Rai airport with mixed feeling. Partly tired, due to workload and lack of sleeps on the last few days, but mostly I feel like screaming “Yippeeeeeee!!!!” and announcing to the whole world that finally my time for holiday comes. It’s my first holiday after 2 years of working. My cousin picked my up from airport, whom I haven’t seen for around 8 years. Luckily nothing much changed from us, so we both didn’t approach the wrong person.
Arriving at Sanur Paradise Plaza Suites at around midnite, I met my flat mates: R, A and C. R and C were my seniors in NTU. Different school, different batch and halls of residence limited our exchange of conversation back then. However, we hit it off instantly and we were no different from old friends anymore. Our loud voices accompanied our journeys. Teasing and laughters were also not left behind.
Saturday morning, we left our residence at 8.15 am to head towards Ayung River for my first Rafting Adventure. It was… WOW!!! The only drawback is the “natural stoney staircase” to and from the riverbank. The steps were sooooo high and it seemed like an endless journey. Our calves went shaky. Our breath went short. But it was all paid off when we reached the river. Wow, totally wow. We rafted below a gorge, below hundreds of bats. We passed through waterfalls, everything was still untouched. Though sometimes the rock hindered our cruise, but it is still better than a man-made one, right?
We could see more rainbows during our adventure than all the rainbows we have seen in our life.
The adventure was concluded by a lunch feast. A buffet of rice, fried rice, fried noodle, pecel (Indonesian mix of vegetables with peanut sauce), fried chicken, fried tahu and tempe, chicken satay, macaroni soup. Desserts of fruits, banana fritters and tapioca fritters just made it complete. The drink… Teh Botol Sosro, a bottled sweetened tea which is always missed by Indonesian abroad…
Next, after we went back to our suites, we went for massage at 3 pm. However, none of us really enjoyed it. So the story skips to Uluwatu Temple. It’s a Hindu temple above a cliff, in the southern part of Bali. From there, we can see beautiful sunset with the background music of ocean wave thumping the cliff. Everything was sooooo breathtaking. All visitors must wear decent clothings, those who wear shorts or mini skirts must be covered up by Balinese Sarong.
So here we were, amazed by the scenery, the weather, the ocean sound, and everything….
I forgot that there are many “wild” monkeys around!! They get “wilder” the higher you go (the place where you can find less visitors). When I was a bit off-guard, a monkey grabbed my glasses. It just stopped by my shoulder in a very tiny moment, and the next thing I knew is that my eyesight went very blur (what with my minus 925 and 875 plus astigmatism, my eyesight without glasses was significantly blur!!). I let out my soprano scream and few native people came and bribed the naughty monkey with peanuts or dunno-what since I couldn’t really see.
Afterwards, I always made sure that I held my glasses. My friend R walked beside me and holding her necklace’s pendant. But at one second moment, I was A BIT unattentive and there went my glasses for the second time!!! This time was scarier as the monkey stood at the top of one pillar and behind it was the cliff with the wild ocean wave below!!! My glasses could say good bye to me while flying down anytime. My friend also went panic. The guys, A and C could even hear our soprano screams. Luckily the person there could help me get my glasses back.
Well, twice is already more than enough for me. So off I went with R walked beside me and showed the way out.
With this, I definitely scrapped off the idea of going to Sangeh, The Monkey Forest.
Arriving at Sanur Paradise Plaza Suites at around midnite, I met my flat mates: R, A and C. R and C were my seniors in NTU. Different school, different batch and halls of residence limited our exchange of conversation back then. However, we hit it off instantly and we were no different from old friends anymore. Our loud voices accompanied our journeys. Teasing and laughters were also not left behind.
Saturday morning, we left our residence at 8.15 am to head towards Ayung River for my first Rafting Adventure. It was… WOW!!! The only drawback is the “natural stoney staircase” to and from the riverbank. The steps were sooooo high and it seemed like an endless journey. Our calves went shaky. Our breath went short. But it was all paid off when we reached the river. Wow, totally wow. We rafted below a gorge, below hundreds of bats. We passed through waterfalls, everything was still untouched. Though sometimes the rock hindered our cruise, but it is still better than a man-made one, right?
We could see more rainbows during our adventure than all the rainbows we have seen in our life.
The adventure was concluded by a lunch feast. A buffet of rice, fried rice, fried noodle, pecel (Indonesian mix of vegetables with peanut sauce), fried chicken, fried tahu and tempe, chicken satay, macaroni soup. Desserts of fruits, banana fritters and tapioca fritters just made it complete. The drink… Teh Botol Sosro, a bottled sweetened tea which is always missed by Indonesian abroad…
Next, after we went back to our suites, we went for massage at 3 pm. However, none of us really enjoyed it. So the story skips to Uluwatu Temple. It’s a Hindu temple above a cliff, in the southern part of Bali. From there, we can see beautiful sunset with the background music of ocean wave thumping the cliff. Everything was sooooo breathtaking. All visitors must wear decent clothings, those who wear shorts or mini skirts must be covered up by Balinese Sarong.
So here we were, amazed by the scenery, the weather, the ocean sound, and everything….
I forgot that there are many “wild” monkeys around!! They get “wilder” the higher you go (the place where you can find less visitors). When I was a bit off-guard, a monkey grabbed my glasses. It just stopped by my shoulder in a very tiny moment, and the next thing I knew is that my eyesight went very blur (what with my minus 925 and 875 plus astigmatism, my eyesight without glasses was significantly blur!!). I let out my soprano scream and few native people came and bribed the naughty monkey with peanuts or dunno-what since I couldn’t really see.
Afterwards, I always made sure that I held my glasses. My friend R walked beside me and holding her necklace’s pendant. But at one second moment, I was A BIT unattentive and there went my glasses for the second time!!! This time was scarier as the monkey stood at the top of one pillar and behind it was the cliff with the wild ocean wave below!!! My glasses could say good bye to me while flying down anytime. My friend also went panic. The guys, A and C could even hear our soprano screams. Luckily the person there could help me get my glasses back.
Well, twice is already more than enough for me. So off I went with R walked beside me and showed the way out.
With this, I definitely scrapped off the idea of going to Sangeh, The Monkey Forest.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Cicak Gaya...
Tulisan gua kali ini bisa dikategorikan sebagai pengakuan dosa kali. Di negeri yang mendewa-dewakan kebersihan ini, kemaren gua buang sampah dari lantai 15 block tempat gua tinggal.
Asal-muasal tindakan laknat ini (i.e. buang sampah sembarangan) adalah cuma gara-gara seekor cicak penuh gaya.
Kemaren di dapur, gua ngeliat cicak. Untungnya sih dia ga kelayapan di daerah-daerah yang makanannya terbuka. Nah reptil yang satu ini tuh genit banget. Sok gaya gitu. Dia pikir dia bisa ngibulin gua jadi pajangan kali yah. Doooh, ngaca dong.. ngaca... ngapain majang cicak ya gak?
Akhirnya gua udah ga tau mau diapain sebenernya tuh cicak. Bisa nemplok gitu bak fotomodel siap dipotret. Freeze... Terus pas di sodok pake sedotan bekas, dia maju trus diem lagi... gaya lagi!!! Masya rakaaaat... gitu terus sampe akhirnya gua jadi kayak ikutan play his game gitu. Sodok-maju-gaya. Sodok-maju-gaya. (Gua gak ikut gaya, cicaknya doank). Gak asyik banget sih.
Akhirnya gua grab aja tuh cicak gaya pake tissue. Pas gua pegang juga geleper-geleper gitu, jadi kan mesti langsung cepet-cepet gua buang daripada ntar dia gaya di tangan gua, ya gak?? Maklum di lantai 15, tiadalah itu yang namanya kebon atau tempat terbuka di depan rumah. Jadi satu-satunya "penghubung" antara gua dan alam sekitar ya jendela belakang.
Gak sengaja gua buang tuh cicak gaya bersama tissue-nya (maksud hati buang cicaknya aja). Ya ampun ternyata yang gua buang cuma ekornya doank. Si cicak gaya berhasil menggeliat dari cengkeraman jari lentik gua dan nangkring di lantai dapur. Untungnya belom sempet keliaran lagi....
Dan... yak, sodara-sodara seperti kalian juga pasti dapat menebak... dia lagi gaya!!! Gak lupa kalo sama yang satu itu. Gua sodok lagi. Dan yah terulang lagi lah sodok-maju-gaya itu. Gila mungkin dia tunggu gua potret baru berhenti gaya kali ya.
Akhirnya gua grab lagi dengan lebih "tega" cengkerem body-nya. Masih meliuk-liuk sok langsing gitu. Dan gua buang lagi dari tempat yang sama... tissue nya kebuang lagi.
Jadi, rangkuman dari pengakuan dosa gua adalah gua membuang sembarangan 2 helai tissue dapur, kepala + body cicak gaya dan ekor cicak gaya.
Makanya gua tulis pake bahasa Indo neh, in case ada HDB officer yang baca. Tapi kalo dia Malay by race and language sih sami mawon donk yah...
Kesimpulannya, jauh lebih gampang nangkep kecoa daripada nangkep cicak, karena:
1. Kecoa tidak sok gaya
2. Kecoa tidak meliuk-liuk sok langsing
3. Kecoa tidak bisa melepas ekornya (punya gak sih?)
Asal-muasal tindakan laknat ini (i.e. buang sampah sembarangan) adalah cuma gara-gara seekor cicak penuh gaya.
Kemaren di dapur, gua ngeliat cicak. Untungnya sih dia ga kelayapan di daerah-daerah yang makanannya terbuka. Nah reptil yang satu ini tuh genit banget. Sok gaya gitu. Dia pikir dia bisa ngibulin gua jadi pajangan kali yah. Doooh, ngaca dong.. ngaca... ngapain majang cicak ya gak?
Akhirnya gua udah ga tau mau diapain sebenernya tuh cicak. Bisa nemplok gitu bak fotomodel siap dipotret. Freeze... Terus pas di sodok pake sedotan bekas, dia maju trus diem lagi... gaya lagi!!! Masya rakaaaat... gitu terus sampe akhirnya gua jadi kayak ikutan play his game gitu. Sodok-maju-gaya. Sodok-maju-gaya. (Gua gak ikut gaya, cicaknya doank). Gak asyik banget sih.
Akhirnya gua grab aja tuh cicak gaya pake tissue. Pas gua pegang juga geleper-geleper gitu, jadi kan mesti langsung cepet-cepet gua buang daripada ntar dia gaya di tangan gua, ya gak?? Maklum di lantai 15, tiadalah itu yang namanya kebon atau tempat terbuka di depan rumah. Jadi satu-satunya "penghubung" antara gua dan alam sekitar ya jendela belakang.
Gak sengaja gua buang tuh cicak gaya bersama tissue-nya (maksud hati buang cicaknya aja). Ya ampun ternyata yang gua buang cuma ekornya doank. Si cicak gaya berhasil menggeliat dari cengkeraman jari lentik gua dan nangkring di lantai dapur. Untungnya belom sempet keliaran lagi....
Dan... yak, sodara-sodara seperti kalian juga pasti dapat menebak... dia lagi gaya!!! Gak lupa kalo sama yang satu itu. Gua sodok lagi. Dan yah terulang lagi lah sodok-maju-gaya itu. Gila mungkin dia tunggu gua potret baru berhenti gaya kali ya.
Akhirnya gua grab lagi dengan lebih "tega" cengkerem body-nya. Masih meliuk-liuk sok langsing gitu. Dan gua buang lagi dari tempat yang sama... tissue nya kebuang lagi.
Jadi, rangkuman dari pengakuan dosa gua adalah gua membuang sembarangan 2 helai tissue dapur, kepala + body cicak gaya dan ekor cicak gaya.
Makanya gua tulis pake bahasa Indo neh, in case ada HDB officer yang baca. Tapi kalo dia Malay by race and language sih sami mawon donk yah...
Kesimpulannya, jauh lebih gampang nangkep kecoa daripada nangkep cicak, karena:
1. Kecoa tidak sok gaya
2. Kecoa tidak meliuk-liuk sok langsing
3. Kecoa tidak bisa melepas ekornya (punya gak sih?)
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Brethrens in Foreign Land
Being far from home, we as social human beings will always try to create a new bond in the new (foreign) place. The closest to a family, perhaps. It may be considered as the natural instinct of survival. It becomes more prominent when we live in a struggling condition, a rocky and stony paths instead of a paradise. Friends are people who will always be around. They can be our pillars. With them we share both joy and sorrow. We, the fragile and the vulnerable, can unimaginably be the source of strength for others, in ways we would never know.
Six years ago, the tiny hills and valleys in NTU welcomed me to be one of its residents. It was my first time to be permanently away from my family. I was not scared, I was not worried, but there’s something missing in the daily cycle of my life. You were physically detached from your family. Surely it would have certain degree of impact into your life.
Luckily, not only the hills and valleys were welcoming. Warm smiles were also there, offering friendship and... a family. We were bonded as brothers and sisters, though without blood ties. We were there for each birthday, each celebration, each post-exam euphoria, each Chinese New Year, each Christmas, each new year… And now the time has come for a farewell.
Today, we said our temporary goodbye to one of our dear friend who will pursue her higher study in another part of the globe. It was like a wake up call for each of us, to come and gather once again, just as what we used to have in our younger days.
We have now lived different lives, we have gone into different directions. Some have achieved their dreams, some are still searching, some are still studying. We are not just a bunch of foreign students anymore. Most of us have already settled down, have a good job and steady income.
How different it was back then. We were students in this foreign country, pocketing our own problems. Financial difficulties, relationship problem, problem in studying, etc. The list can go longer. We have similar worries, some identical fears. We held hands and united in prayers during exam period. We cheered for each success, we gave each other a pat on the back. We went crazy in post-exam euphoria. We panicked with each other for study problems, and tried to help as best as we could. We were definitely there when somebody brought some Indonesian food along. We found solace and peace in as simple as the presence of each other.
Some of us have now had a smooth path to the future. Some may still have uncertain path. Some wedding bells will be ringing. Somebody will start deserving a “Happy Father’s Day” greeting soon. Some additional degree will entail some names. Some might pursue other field of study. Some might start their own business. We don’t live in the same frequency anymore.
And yet, the bond that we had will always synchronize our hearts.
The BBQ pit in one condo seemed just like one of NTU hall’s common ground. We gossiped just as before. Splashes heard from the swimming pool sounded like Nanyang Lake/ Nanyang Pond. Our first reaction to hear the word “birthday” is to throw the person into the water (no, no it didn’t happen today). The gastronomical appetite doesn’t change. Those who were always to finish the food still do the same duty until today. The one who usually became our treasurer still count the money today. The one who was always bullied is “almost” to be one again today. The one who stood as our MC and confetti-popper today is the same person as before.
As simple as an exclamation “cieeeeehh…” (with our special intonation and context) can even bring back the memory. It seems years we don’t really say the word in our special way =P.
We have gone through a lot, in our own way, during these six to seven years. Some friends that I see today, I haven’t seen from years. I haven’t even heard any news from some.
The bond that ties, will always unite us. When we meet again, we feel like being trapped in a time-capsule and catapulted to our younger days. We are just brothers and sisters, who need each other. We might not do what we did last time and we might not help in the same way anymore, but definitely time will not dilute the bond that we had woven, the friendship that we had cultivated…
When the fallen darkness reminded us to call it a day, the condo is now just a condo. No more NTU hall, no more NTU trees, hills and valleys. 10 pm was the time we used to start back then, but now it is the time to start packing up…. May be we are just getting old =)
I do hope that we don’t need to wait for another farewell to have a gathering. Reunion is good you know, it will make you feel young. You can save away those dollars that you may splurge in antioxidants….
Thanks for being there, in the past, present and future!! I will surely wish you all the best, in each unique direction that you have decided or will decide to take.
God be with you all!!
Keep in touch, friends… and don’t forget to share the pictures =)
Six years ago, the tiny hills and valleys in NTU welcomed me to be one of its residents. It was my first time to be permanently away from my family. I was not scared, I was not worried, but there’s something missing in the daily cycle of my life. You were physically detached from your family. Surely it would have certain degree of impact into your life.
Luckily, not only the hills and valleys were welcoming. Warm smiles were also there, offering friendship and... a family. We were bonded as brothers and sisters, though without blood ties. We were there for each birthday, each celebration, each post-exam euphoria, each Chinese New Year, each Christmas, each new year… And now the time has come for a farewell.
Today, we said our temporary goodbye to one of our dear friend who will pursue her higher study in another part of the globe. It was like a wake up call for each of us, to come and gather once again, just as what we used to have in our younger days.
We have now lived different lives, we have gone into different directions. Some have achieved their dreams, some are still searching, some are still studying. We are not just a bunch of foreign students anymore. Most of us have already settled down, have a good job and steady income.
How different it was back then. We were students in this foreign country, pocketing our own problems. Financial difficulties, relationship problem, problem in studying, etc. The list can go longer. We have similar worries, some identical fears. We held hands and united in prayers during exam period. We cheered for each success, we gave each other a pat on the back. We went crazy in post-exam euphoria. We panicked with each other for study problems, and tried to help as best as we could. We were definitely there when somebody brought some Indonesian food along. We found solace and peace in as simple as the presence of each other.
Some of us have now had a smooth path to the future. Some may still have uncertain path. Some wedding bells will be ringing. Somebody will start deserving a “Happy Father’s Day” greeting soon. Some additional degree will entail some names. Some might pursue other field of study. Some might start their own business. We don’t live in the same frequency anymore.
And yet, the bond that we had will always synchronize our hearts.
The BBQ pit in one condo seemed just like one of NTU hall’s common ground. We gossiped just as before. Splashes heard from the swimming pool sounded like Nanyang Lake/ Nanyang Pond. Our first reaction to hear the word “birthday” is to throw the person into the water (no, no it didn’t happen today). The gastronomical appetite doesn’t change. Those who were always to finish the food still do the same duty until today. The one who usually became our treasurer still count the money today. The one who was always bullied is “almost” to be one again today. The one who stood as our MC and confetti-popper today is the same person as before.
As simple as an exclamation “cieeeeehh…” (with our special intonation and context) can even bring back the memory. It seems years we don’t really say the word in our special way =P.
We have gone through a lot, in our own way, during these six to seven years. Some friends that I see today, I haven’t seen from years. I haven’t even heard any news from some.
The bond that ties, will always unite us. When we meet again, we feel like being trapped in a time-capsule and catapulted to our younger days. We are just brothers and sisters, who need each other. We might not do what we did last time and we might not help in the same way anymore, but definitely time will not dilute the bond that we had woven, the friendship that we had cultivated…
When the fallen darkness reminded us to call it a day, the condo is now just a condo. No more NTU hall, no more NTU trees, hills and valleys. 10 pm was the time we used to start back then, but now it is the time to start packing up…. May be we are just getting old =)
I do hope that we don’t need to wait for another farewell to have a gathering. Reunion is good you know, it will make you feel young. You can save away those dollars that you may splurge in antioxidants….
Thanks for being there, in the past, present and future!! I will surely wish you all the best, in each unique direction that you have decided or will decide to take.
God be with you all!!
Keep in touch, friends… and don’t forget to share the pictures =)
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
The fact is...
It's the "part two" of my previous musing...
The problem with me is, in my current job I don't have many chances to do what I like, things which I am good at...
My main agenda is still product design. =(
Sometimes, they can't see the significance of what I am doing. Product design engineers in general are more practical, more experimental and empirical.
They don't like numbers, which I like to deal with and always use in doing design justification/analysis/whatever...
I didn't mean that their appreciation of my work becomes the ultimate goal, but with they manouvering me to follow the way they do things, it deprives me from doing things which actually go along with my interest... and perhaps, strength.
That's why I actually want to look for the right niche for me to grow... so I hope both employee and employer can grow together...
Will it be good?? Or am I just being fussy and ungrateful? If you leave any comments, be it here or directly to me, I'll be more than thankful...
The problem with me is, in my current job I don't have many chances to do what I like, things which I am good at...
My main agenda is still product design. =(
Sometimes, they can't see the significance of what I am doing. Product design engineers in general are more practical, more experimental and empirical.
They don't like numbers, which I like to deal with and always use in doing design justification/analysis/whatever...
I didn't mean that their appreciation of my work becomes the ultimate goal, but with they manouvering me to follow the way they do things, it deprives me from doing things which actually go along with my interest... and perhaps, strength.
That's why I actually want to look for the right niche for me to grow... so I hope both employee and employer can grow together...
Will it be good?? Or am I just being fussy and ungrateful? If you leave any comments, be it here or directly to me, I'll be more than thankful...
Be Remarkable
These few days we are required to go back and forth between Singapore-Johor Bahru (daily commuting) for the product build, where a hundred over printers are assembled within 5 days.
This afternoon while we were waiting for the End of Day Meeting, I was trapped in a multidirectional missile launching of brainstorm among few of my colleagues. Apparently, they were discussing about some part issues. In no time, different ideas, suggestions, advices flying and criss-crossing in the air surrounding me. Complete with the design and tooling jargons.
As you can guess, I just kept quiet and tried to digest the discussion which was going on. Never, ever, I was fast enough to come out with a thought. I felt like a spectator for tennis match. Right-left-right-left. (Not for marching)
Again, something crossed my mind. How do I actually survive in this industry by the way? Two years and few days are not a short period of time. In fact I could be kicked out anytime in between, but I have survived somehow. Even until now, I haven't got a good grip in looking into product design problems and respond to them instinctively. You will still see me frowning 'til my eyebrows almost joined together without any solutions coming out. It will, after quite some time... after few "A ha!!" heard from the surrounding.
May be it just proves one of my theory right, a theory which I adopted from a book by Seth Godin, PURPLE COW. In the book, he emphasized that to win the market, one needs to be remarkable. To be different.
Which is aligned with what I always believe. To be different, sometimes you don't need to be a swan among the ducks. Even being a duck among the swans can also make you positively remarkable.
May be that's what happens to me in my work now. Being the only Mechatronics graduate around, I have distinct advantages of being familiar with firmware codes, motor (although for this very topic my knowledge is actually nothing better than theirs), programming, algorithm, creating flowcharts.... Analysis and simulation are no strangers to me.
I might not be good in product design. But I am considerably OK in dealing with numbers, in mathematical operations, in analysis and simulation... areas which actually product design engineers don't need to excel in. This "OK" cathegory can be "good" for my fellow colleagues, just because they don't understand what I am doing, which is VERY normal since it was my field of study and not theirs.
That's whyyyy... in their eyes, they see me as a good engineer, some say bright (I didn't say it), have high potential (emang power source??), blablabla... Just because I've done something (around last year) which for them was impossible to do, but for me, it was just an implementation of what I've learned.
With this, the fact that I am not a good product design engineer becomes oblivious to them. It has proven the theory that even being a duck among swans, as long as you are different (positively), you can gather the spotlight around you.
So dudes, just be confident with what you have and BE REMARKABLE!!!!
PS: there's actually one drawback... everytime i confess to them that I don't feel suitable for this job, they always over-encourage me by saying "Of course you can!! Remember the simulation you did last year??? It was an achievement, you know....." Owalaaaaahhhh pusing deh
This afternoon while we were waiting for the End of Day Meeting, I was trapped in a multidirectional missile launching of brainstorm among few of my colleagues. Apparently, they were discussing about some part issues. In no time, different ideas, suggestions, advices flying and criss-crossing in the air surrounding me. Complete with the design and tooling jargons.
As you can guess, I just kept quiet and tried to digest the discussion which was going on. Never, ever, I was fast enough to come out with a thought. I felt like a spectator for tennis match. Right-left-right-left. (Not for marching)
Again, something crossed my mind. How do I actually survive in this industry by the way? Two years and few days are not a short period of time. In fact I could be kicked out anytime in between, but I have survived somehow. Even until now, I haven't got a good grip in looking into product design problems and respond to them instinctively. You will still see me frowning 'til my eyebrows almost joined together without any solutions coming out. It will, after quite some time... after few "A ha!!" heard from the surrounding.
May be it just proves one of my theory right, a theory which I adopted from a book by Seth Godin, PURPLE COW. In the book, he emphasized that to win the market, one needs to be remarkable. To be different.
Which is aligned with what I always believe. To be different, sometimes you don't need to be a swan among the ducks. Even being a duck among the swans can also make you positively remarkable.
May be that's what happens to me in my work now. Being the only Mechatronics graduate around, I have distinct advantages of being familiar with firmware codes, motor (although for this very topic my knowledge is actually nothing better than theirs), programming, algorithm, creating flowcharts.... Analysis and simulation are no strangers to me.
I might not be good in product design. But I am considerably OK in dealing with numbers, in mathematical operations, in analysis and simulation... areas which actually product design engineers don't need to excel in. This "OK" cathegory can be "good" for my fellow colleagues, just because they don't understand what I am doing, which is VERY normal since it was my field of study and not theirs.
That's whyyyy... in their eyes, they see me as a good engineer, some say bright (I didn't say it), have high potential (emang power source??), blablabla... Just because I've done something (around last year) which for them was impossible to do, but for me, it was just an implementation of what I've learned.
With this, the fact that I am not a good product design engineer becomes oblivious to them. It has proven the theory that even being a duck among swans, as long as you are different (positively), you can gather the spotlight around you.
So dudes, just be confident with what you have and BE REMARKABLE!!!!
PS: there's actually one drawback... everytime i confess to them that I don't feel suitable for this job, they always over-encourage me by saying "Of course you can!! Remember the simulation you did last year??? It was an achievement, you know....." Owalaaaaahhhh pusing deh
Sunday, June 12, 2005
"You still shine..."
I have many thoughts recently; about life, about work, about career to occupy my mind almost fully.
Today, I went to St. Bernadette church to attend an Indonesian mass after missing for sooooo long. I feel like a come-back kid. "Rhea!! Ke mana aja? Udah lama gak keliatan..." (Rhea, where have you been, we haven't seen you for quite some time...)
It's good to meet many friends, to distract my mind from the lingering thoughts recently.
One that really surprised me was when Tante Jo approached me suddenly outside the canteen when I was talking to 2 Henrys. She suddenly grabbed my arm and exclaimed "Lady In Red!! A beautiful young lady!!" (Yea, i wore red shirt, red skirt, red bag, and pink sandal).
While I haven't recovered from the mild shock, she asked me about my love life. So I told her briefly (VERY briefly) about the Long Distance Relationship that we are currently going through. Before I talked further, she already told some soothing words about LDR.
Then she told me the historical sentence "But you still shine... shine very brightly!". That's her last sentence before dashing off.
I was a bit stunned. For someone who has just spent few weeks feeling low and lost for not knowing what to do next in her life, that sentence can really lift you up.
Tante Jo may have spending her quiet Sunday night now, not knowing that she just made my day...
And for you, grab each opportunity to tell somebody that she/he looks good, stunning, fresh, different in a better way, shining, etc.. the list may go on...
You would never know what difference you can make
Today, I went to St. Bernadette church to attend an Indonesian mass after missing for sooooo long. I feel like a come-back kid. "Rhea!! Ke mana aja? Udah lama gak keliatan..." (Rhea, where have you been, we haven't seen you for quite some time...)
It's good to meet many friends, to distract my mind from the lingering thoughts recently.
One that really surprised me was when Tante Jo approached me suddenly outside the canteen when I was talking to 2 Henrys. She suddenly grabbed my arm and exclaimed "Lady In Red!! A beautiful young lady!!" (Yea, i wore red shirt, red skirt, red bag, and pink sandal).
While I haven't recovered from the mild shock, she asked me about my love life. So I told her briefly (VERY briefly) about the Long Distance Relationship that we are currently going through. Before I talked further, she already told some soothing words about LDR.
Then she told me the historical sentence "But you still shine... shine very brightly!". That's her last sentence before dashing off.
I was a bit stunned. For someone who has just spent few weeks feeling low and lost for not knowing what to do next in her life, that sentence can really lift you up.
Tante Jo may have spending her quiet Sunday night now, not knowing that she just made my day...
And for you, grab each opportunity to tell somebody that she/he looks good, stunning, fresh, different in a better way, shining, etc.. the list may go on...
You would never know what difference you can make
2 years now...
It's been a while, in fact more than one month has passed since my last entry. Been occupied with works and other things. Nothing specific thought, it's just a miasma of my thoughts with myriads of particles (some are indistinct) inside.
My project at work is now like a Titanic which goes near to an iceberg, but still has a manouvering chance to avoid that. Hmm, may be not that bad. That negative analogy might only come out from me. Either I am a pessimist or a prophet with presaging ability , you decide.
Nah, actually it's still OK. Although I still feel like a rubber band being pulled to its yield point, but I am still pulling through. But I know that I have to stay in the elastic deformation region, where I still can go back to my initial form after that pressure. Must avoid entering the plastic deformation region. Those who are not with engineering background (esp. mechanical or material) may not be very familiar with these terms.
Some of my friends told me that they are impressed by the fact that I have stayed in my company for two years, doing something which is not my forte nor interest at all. I have never liked product design. In fact in my undergrad studies, I always avoided those subjects related to product design.
Lucky me to be in Mechatronics specialization, all Product Design related subjects were only at Introductory level. It's not about the subject being difficult nor complicated, it was just.... I don't like it, however hard I tried, you know what I mean. And chances were there to avoid doing that thing, which exacerbate things -> I never tried to start liking it.
In doing projects, we were given the liberty to choose our own project mates. And as many students do, our group almost always flock together. Since we have few projects going on in parallel, the job distribution was as enjoyable as: you do what I like. Since I like programming a lot which nobody else did, hence I had a full authority for the whole project. I killed two birds at one shot: I enjoyed what I was doing and I avoided doing those product design related projects (which my other friends who were gladly avoiding programming did). That's how I went through my Mechanical Engineering undergraduate days. Happy =) Once I skipped one part of a question in exam which asked us to do some design simplification. I really left it blank, as nothing was depicted in my mind at that time. You know what it was about: yes, product design.
And here I am, 2 years doing product design. A high-end, very complicated mechanical engine, with heaps and tonnes of requirements to meet.
It will be my first product cycle. I think I still need to wait for another 6-8 months for the completion. Being fully responsible for one subsystem and half for another, it is frustrating for me to "guess" what to be done next. It's true that we should be able to ask a senior, but in our team, I am among the 2 people who have done printer design for more than 1 year.
So here goes. Not my forte, not my interest, stressful environment, it's very logical if people ask: "why do you stay by the way?"
Hmm, I don't know. My visceral gut has not told me what to do next. It's also a challenge to know how far I can go in this area. Hopefully an angel will whisper in my ears later =)
If you ask me, no.. I don't regret working in my current job. It gives me a lot of experiences, lessons to learn, knowledge to fathom, practical know-how to know. Dealing with various kind of people, which certainly gives some degree of insights of the real world. It has also honed my intuition and judgement to make a decision, be it a technical or management.
My curiousity to sharpen my actual ability and strength make me considering to find the right niche for me.
Only God knows.
Hopefully a good update can come to you, may be soon, may be later... but I believe it will.
PS: 9 June 2005 was my second anniversary dwelling in product design
My project at work is now like a Titanic which goes near to an iceberg, but still has a manouvering chance to avoid that. Hmm, may be not that bad. That negative analogy might only come out from me. Either I am a pessimist or a prophet with presaging ability , you decide.
Nah, actually it's still OK. Although I still feel like a rubber band being pulled to its yield point, but I am still pulling through. But I know that I have to stay in the elastic deformation region, where I still can go back to my initial form after that pressure. Must avoid entering the plastic deformation region. Those who are not with engineering background (esp. mechanical or material) may not be very familiar with these terms.
Some of my friends told me that they are impressed by the fact that I have stayed in my company for two years, doing something which is not my forte nor interest at all. I have never liked product design. In fact in my undergrad studies, I always avoided those subjects related to product design.
Lucky me to be in Mechatronics specialization, all Product Design related subjects were only at Introductory level. It's not about the subject being difficult nor complicated, it was just.... I don't like it, however hard I tried, you know what I mean. And chances were there to avoid doing that thing, which exacerbate things -> I never tried to start liking it.
In doing projects, we were given the liberty to choose our own project mates. And as many students do, our group almost always flock together. Since we have few projects going on in parallel, the job distribution was as enjoyable as: you do what I like. Since I like programming a lot which nobody else did, hence I had a full authority for the whole project. I killed two birds at one shot: I enjoyed what I was doing and I avoided doing those product design related projects (which my other friends who were gladly avoiding programming did). That's how I went through my Mechanical Engineering undergraduate days. Happy =) Once I skipped one part of a question in exam which asked us to do some design simplification. I really left it blank, as nothing was depicted in my mind at that time. You know what it was about: yes, product design.
And here I am, 2 years doing product design. A high-end, very complicated mechanical engine, with heaps and tonnes of requirements to meet.
It will be my first product cycle. I think I still need to wait for another 6-8 months for the completion. Being fully responsible for one subsystem and half for another, it is frustrating for me to "guess" what to be done next. It's true that we should be able to ask a senior, but in our team, I am among the 2 people who have done printer design for more than 1 year.
So here goes. Not my forte, not my interest, stressful environment, it's very logical if people ask: "why do you stay by the way?"
Hmm, I don't know. My visceral gut has not told me what to do next. It's also a challenge to know how far I can go in this area. Hopefully an angel will whisper in my ears later =)
If you ask me, no.. I don't regret working in my current job. It gives me a lot of experiences, lessons to learn, knowledge to fathom, practical know-how to know. Dealing with various kind of people, which certainly gives some degree of insights of the real world. It has also honed my intuition and judgement to make a decision, be it a technical or management.
My curiousity to sharpen my actual ability and strength make me considering to find the right niche for me.
Only God knows.
Hopefully a good update can come to you, may be soon, may be later... but I believe it will.
PS: 9 June 2005 was my second anniversary dwelling in product design
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Kisah Sedih di Hari Sabtu
Sepucuk cerita yang gak penting tertanggal 11 December 2004. Cerita ini pernah di-posting di mailing list Retreat 2004, jadi mungkin udah ada yang baca. Karena emang ga penting, ya yang mau baca silakan, yang nggak juga gak akan ada yang maksa.
Kenapa kok tiba-tiba cerita ini muncul kembali ke permukaan? Simply b’coz tadi gue satu bus sama mak cik satpam yang menjadi salah satu lead cast di cerita di bawah ini.
Here the story goes…
Ceritanya dimulai dari semalem. Gue pulang dari kantor udah zombie banget, setelah
seminggu nonstop bekerja keras membanting tulang *gila, seakan-akan tukang bangunan ginih* tapi masih harus menunaikan tugas gue di rumah donk. Akhirnya dengan mata separo tertutup gue pun nyapu ngepel satu rumah... abis itu, mandi. Udah bersih dan wangi, baru inget kalo gue belom dinner... ya udah cuma dinner 1 biji roti dari bread talk. Saking capeknya kayaknya sensor laper gue lupa menunaikan tugasnya untuk mengirim signal ke otak.
Yo wis, tidurlah daku. Zzzzz..... eh tiba-tiba gitu kebangun, ternyata jam 3.54 am. Segar bugar gitu, buseeeet... setelah gue coba konsentrasi mencari tahu sebab musabab gue terbangun, akhirnya perut gue pun menuntut hak-nya. Berbunyilah ia, dan tahulah saya bahwa saya kelaparan setengah mati!!!
Entah berapa biji beng beng dan marie regal (satu lagi dari mayora) masuk perut. Setelah kenyang pun gue snuggled under my blanket again.... Akhirnya gue pun tidur lagi sampe jam 7 pagi. Pas tidur itu gue ngimpi: gue ke kantor, sendirian.. lagi asyik kerja gituh... eh ada psycho masuk kantor!! Dan gue sendirian!! Pas bangun tidur deg2an juga, sempet jiper ga mau ke kantor gituh... bujrut dah
Jam 8 pagi, gue berangkat ke kantor. Wih, sepi pisan kantor gue kalo hari Sabtu. Ya iyalah, tadi gue cuma ngeliat satpam-satpam doank. Nah, siang-siang gue mesti ke bernie karena ada acara dengan seorang dokter dari Jakarta (ya acaranya sih sebenernya udah dari jam 10an). Tapi karena gue harus menunaikan tugas sebagai seorang employee gue pun ga ikutan dan cuma ikut pas... lunch (biar di kantor gue kan juga butuh lunch toh? yo wis gue ke bernie aja, lha wong wis bayar..)
And here the story starts...
Sebelum cabut, gue ke WC dulu. Pas di WC, alarm kebakaran berbunyi. Gue sih ga panik, soale kebiasaan dulu pas di NTU hostel false alarms tuh udah jadi penganan sehari-hari (sering2 subuh2 pula... ugh...).Suddenly it stops. Tambah tenang donk gue...
When i saw the lift... mati deh, lift-nya masih dimatiin!! Dibilang ”FIRE, do not use lift". Mulai panik deh gue.. masalah e, kita tuh baru pindah gedung 3 minggu... belom pernah fire drill.... in other words, gue ga tau TANGGA DARURAT di manah!!! Aduh aduh... tenang... tenang... and gue juga ga tau itu kebakaran beneran pa kagak...
Akhirnya gue wandering around sendirian (ya iyalah, kalo tiba2 ada yang "nemenin" gue jadi tambah takut hiyyy...) dan nemulah tangga...Gue pun turun.... tau donk, gema-nya hak sepatu di ruangan tertutup dan besar gituh?
Btw gue di lantai 6.
Ketika gue nyampe lantai 3... DEG!!!! gila gue kaget banget, ada 1 cowok, TELANJANG DADA lagi duduk bersila ngeliatin gue!! Gila, mending kalo body-nya SEGITIGA KOTAK-KOTAK, ini kagak sama sekali!! Kayaknya dia tuh worker entah di mana, yang lagi bobo beralaskan koran, dan denger suara sepatu gue dia pun terbangun dan pas dia ngadep gue, gue pas turun di depan dia..... PANIK!!!
Gue pun mempercepat langkah gue.. FYI, gue lagi pake my heeled boots, jadi bukan sepatu keds yang bisa diajak sprint. saking pengennya turun cepet-cepet, ada sekali waktu gue langkahin 3 anak tangga sekaligus. DHUOOOOKKKK!!! Hak sepatu gue pun beradu dengan lantai...
Dan aku pun terus berlari menuruni tangga...
Di lantai 2, ADA LAGI!!!! Masya oloh... yang ini sih masi pules... Gila gue udah takut aje kalo ada lagi, soalnya sepatu gue kan Cuma sepasang... kalo mau nimpuk dengan kecepatan 1 tahun cahaya, 1 orang cuma kebagian 1... gue ga bawa cadangan sepatu boots buat nimpuk...
Nyampe lantai 1, udah tenang donk gue... Akhirnya pintu kaca itu pun tegak berdiri di hadapan gue, siap terbentang dan dunia luar pun akan menyambut gue lagi...
Satu langkah...
Dua langkah....
Emang dasar si pintu kaca itu nilai ergonomik-nya kurang, gue ga liat tulisan "push/pull" akhirnya dengan menyingsingkan lengan baju pun gue tarik pintu itu... TIADA BISA, sodara-sodara!!! Terus dengan semangat yang lebih menggebu-gebu pun gue dorong... terbuka... pheewwwww... Tapi saking menggebu-gebunya gue sampe nyosor ke depan (ga sampe terjerembab yah, gila kalo gitu mah film dono kasino indro banget).
Pokoknya pas gue keluar dari pintu kaca itu, si mak cik satpam langsung nengok ke gue dan bilang "the fire is actually not there, they just do the fire drill". Gila, bukan api-nya yang bikin gue panik.. tapi pria-pria itu.. mana gue masi inget mimpi gue tentangpsycho yang masuk kantor gue pula...
Gue pun put on my "coolness".
I flashed my megawatt smile, held my head up high and passed through... gile, itu sih PD abiiizzz padahal sih masi dag dig dug der.
Abis kenyang lunch di bernie, gue mesti balik kantor lagi donk... gile sempet ragu-ragu aje deh gue... Tapi karena saya adalah karyawan yang penuh dedikasi, dedicorbuzier dan dedimizwar, gue pun memberanikan diri balik ke kantor. Abis gimana lagi, kerjaan gue memanggil-manggil terus minta dikerjain... Kalo lift-nya masi mati, gue bakal cari satpam buat nemenin gue naek ke lantai 6...
Untungnya, lift-nya bekerja dengan baik, tekun dan taat beribadah.
Nyampe kantor, I found 1 agonizing fact.... selotip gue raib... Gue inget seh ada yang minjem. Tapi saking blurnya gue juga inget tangan gue terjulur menyerahkan itu selotip tapi gue ga liat sama sekali siapa yang pinjem!! Jelas komputer gue lebih ganteng daripada si peminjam.
Heeeh, sekarang udah jam 6 sore. sabtu-sabtu gini.... time to go back, bahkan Tuhan pun beristirahat di hari ke tujuh, i think i deserve that too. Capek. Kalo di tengah jalan dipalak kayaknya gue dah ga bisa melawan deh.
Laen kali, kalo gue mesti balik kantor sabtu2, rasanya gue mesti menguasai dulu "jurus melempar sepatu boot".
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Hmm..
I might sound a bit sarcastic or cynical in my recent postings. Actually, not really. My entries may look like some sort of complaints or the likes. But in fact, it is just a hunch, just a thought that crossed my mind. I might be too enthusiastic in penning them down, hence it may sound the unintended cynical =D.
Not that anybody has commented on this, basically. I just think that any of you may think that way.
As I've mentioned, I am happy, quite contented and definitely GRATEFUL for whatever my life has been granted with. But, well.. it is just a hunch, a question that keeps fogging my mind: Can I make my life more worthwhile? Can I make a better and fuller use of my time and talents? Can I reach a balance between my enjoyment and my obligations and better still... a combination of that? Is it the kind of life that I really want?
The bottom line is, I am still searching in this journey of my own life. I know that this journey has no end, but I just want to ensure that I am on the correct path to do better, better and better.
Warmest regards,
A girl who is just about to enter her quarter-life crisis...
Not that anybody has commented on this, basically. I just think that any of you may think that way.
As I've mentioned, I am happy, quite contented and definitely GRATEFUL for whatever my life has been granted with. But, well.. it is just a hunch, a question that keeps fogging my mind: Can I make my life more worthwhile? Can I make a better and fuller use of my time and talents? Can I reach a balance between my enjoyment and my obligations and better still... a combination of that? Is it the kind of life that I really want?
The bottom line is, I am still searching in this journey of my own life. I know that this journey has no end, but I just want to ensure that I am on the correct path to do better, better and better.
Warmest regards,
A girl who is just about to enter her quarter-life crisis...
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Weekend Misconception
You know what, I’ve never regretted buying a laptop in May 2004 although the computer that I was using was fully functioning. With its lightweight attribute, it has become so handy to carry this thing around. It was my savior during the musical preparation time, what with I became so mobile and yet still needed to finish up few things. Without this laptop, I would need to wait until I reach home before I can employ the ever loyal Microsoft Word. Writing few articles for the Mudika KKIS’ e-bulletin was more enjoyable to be done in a café; with coffee (of course, need you ask?), few snacks, and new environment to let the inspiration free-flowing.
And now here I am, inside a rented Malaysian car, to (again) have a cross-the-country-border journey from Singapore to the neighboring Johor Bahru, Malaysia for the sake of the running of our project. Smuggling a personal laptop I am (and now I am announcing it to the entire cyber-world? What am I thinking? Smuggling and announcing do not really go together I suppose) to kill my usual boredom during the 1 hour (2.5 hours on Friday evening) trip. Though I have to bear with a disturbed screen-view (but I cannot blame the too-bright sun rays at this time of day, right?) but it is better than seeing greeneries, cars, greeneries, immigration counter, and more cars. And what with a vast selections over more-than-a-thousand songs in my MP3 list, it makes the trip more worth-going.
Recently I have a tiny thought of weekend misconception. If any of you reads a bible, it is written there that on the seventh day God takes a rest after his six days of work and has done enough. PS: It does not imply that I dutifully read the bible, but – well- I do know some of the contents (and that’s what’s more important I guess – correct me if I am wrong). Do you all notice (or is it only me?) that as time goes, there is a drift in that concept. Oh, well, some people are just not lucky enough to ought to work during weekend (including Sundays). I would like to narrow down the scope to those who work 5 days (or 5.5 days) a week and having their Sundays off.
Sundays, as can be a short form of sunny days, are destined to be bright and beautiful. Many people take it as a family day, a resting day. May be that’s why the churches choose Sundays to have their weekly masses, so that the congregation can attend in calm and fresh mind. Do you remember a song that was taught during our younger days? “This is that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it”. Yes, that song also refers to Sundays.
But nowadays, people tend to have the conception that Sundays are the time to have fun (often it includes clubbing, gossiping, luckily not for me), and to catch what you’ve been missed during weekdays. With all the five working days being packed from work to work, people are longing for some fun, some social life, some sports, some activities, may be some courses or community services and I guess you all agree that they can only squeeze them all in the 2 days weekend. At the same time we can’t forget our Godly responsibility to attend Sunday mass/services. AND, as we are still normal human being, our body needs rest, our mind and soul need rejuvenating and refreshing. Don’t forget our loved ones too. To do our work, we spend 5 days a week. But to do ALL the aforementioned things, we are only left with 2 days.
More often than not (as I have also experienced it an ample of time), the last item was neglected. I think 90% of my Sunday night I spend thinking “Oh my God, I haven’t had enough rest, I am still exhausted and yet the next Monday is already here, waving its hand and smiling broadly to welcome me to indulge in work-and-work routine.” What’s wrong actually? Do I need to let go something? Am I trapped in an unhealthy working routine which leaves me with a little time to do all those refreshing stuffs? Or do I pamper myself too much by demanding for more rest? Do I just have to continue on living like this and change the weekend mindset and decide that resting is too much a luxury for this fast-pacing world?
Hmm, what do I do during weekend? Swimming, going for a Novena Devotion (sometimes, when I have the time), going out with my dearest (only in the afternoon), attend the Saturday Sunset mass, having dinner, writing on my blogs, replying e-mails, doing some paintings (be it homework or not). And on Sundays, breakfast at TCC, painting class, lunch, going out for a while, go back to do the homework, finding some important stuffs through the net, taking care of the laundry, ironing, cleaning up. Catching up with some old friends is sometimes inserted in the agenda. With this, I hardly spend the time doing nothing at home. I only take a nap when I am sick and get a Medical Certificate (means a day-off from work, yey!). I still have 6 hours (7 at most) sleep at night. Should be enough, but sometimes I wish I can have more, at least during weekend. Oh well, reaching the manufacturing plant soon… Will continue later.
FYI, I am now already at home. I always have a pang of guilt whenever I am lazing around, because it seems to me that actually I still have an endless list of things to do. Be it reading something important and useful, searching for some information through the net (for work or others), practicing my painting, polishing my English… In short, there is really no end for learning process. And it is sometimes frustrating to think whether we have done enough or not. Are we wasting our time? Are we wasting our resources? Talents? How enough is enough? There seems to always be something after something.
One of my biggest mistakes is that I always tend to compare my glorious school days to the tiring, endless working days. I know I am not supposed to do that, as it will only torture my conscience, but I just can’t help it. In those days, I KNEW that I just needed to pull through until the exams finish, and after that the golden semester break was just around the corner where I could forget all about the strenuous subjects and projects. Whereas now, I just have no idea when it would all be over. Even when I take my leave from office, the thoughts would still haunt me. Oh-so-scary.
Well, it is just me blabbering around and complaining about things. It is not that I don’t appreciate the life that I am leading now. I am still very grateful with whatever I have and have achieved, as there are soooooo many people who are just not as lucky as I am. Am I too selfish to wish for all these?
Anyway, I am fully aware that a person has to make a choice. A person definitely can’t get anything that she/he wants. I KNOW that I must make a choice: should I change my mindset (i.e. stop demanding for more rest and start accepting the life as it is) or should I restructuring my life (i.e. change the priority and time-distribution and management completely)? Even to think about this I have been procrastinating for months….
And now here I am, inside a rented Malaysian car, to (again) have a cross-the-country-border journey from Singapore to the neighboring Johor Bahru, Malaysia for the sake of the running of our project. Smuggling a personal laptop I am (and now I am announcing it to the entire cyber-world? What am I thinking? Smuggling and announcing do not really go together I suppose) to kill my usual boredom during the 1 hour (2.5 hours on Friday evening) trip. Though I have to bear with a disturbed screen-view (but I cannot blame the too-bright sun rays at this time of day, right?) but it is better than seeing greeneries, cars, greeneries, immigration counter, and more cars. And what with a vast selections over more-than-a-thousand songs in my MP3 list, it makes the trip more worth-going.
Recently I have a tiny thought of weekend misconception. If any of you reads a bible, it is written there that on the seventh day God takes a rest after his six days of work and has done enough. PS: It does not imply that I dutifully read the bible, but – well- I do know some of the contents (and that’s what’s more important I guess – correct me if I am wrong). Do you all notice (or is it only me?) that as time goes, there is a drift in that concept. Oh, well, some people are just not lucky enough to ought to work during weekend (including Sundays). I would like to narrow down the scope to those who work 5 days (or 5.5 days) a week and having their Sundays off.
Sundays, as can be a short form of sunny days, are destined to be bright and beautiful. Many people take it as a family day, a resting day. May be that’s why the churches choose Sundays to have their weekly masses, so that the congregation can attend in calm and fresh mind. Do you remember a song that was taught during our younger days? “This is that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it”. Yes, that song also refers to Sundays.
But nowadays, people tend to have the conception that Sundays are the time to have fun (often it includes clubbing, gossiping, luckily not for me), and to catch what you’ve been missed during weekdays. With all the five working days being packed from work to work, people are longing for some fun, some social life, some sports, some activities, may be some courses or community services and I guess you all agree that they can only squeeze them all in the 2 days weekend. At the same time we can’t forget our Godly responsibility to attend Sunday mass/services. AND, as we are still normal human being, our body needs rest, our mind and soul need rejuvenating and refreshing. Don’t forget our loved ones too. To do our work, we spend 5 days a week. But to do ALL the aforementioned things, we are only left with 2 days.
More often than not (as I have also experienced it an ample of time), the last item was neglected. I think 90% of my Sunday night I spend thinking “Oh my God, I haven’t had enough rest, I am still exhausted and yet the next Monday is already here, waving its hand and smiling broadly to welcome me to indulge in work-and-work routine.” What’s wrong actually? Do I need to let go something? Am I trapped in an unhealthy working routine which leaves me with a little time to do all those refreshing stuffs? Or do I pamper myself too much by demanding for more rest? Do I just have to continue on living like this and change the weekend mindset and decide that resting is too much a luxury for this fast-pacing world?
Hmm, what do I do during weekend? Swimming, going for a Novena Devotion (sometimes, when I have the time), going out with my dearest (only in the afternoon), attend the Saturday Sunset mass, having dinner, writing on my blogs, replying e-mails, doing some paintings (be it homework or not). And on Sundays, breakfast at TCC, painting class, lunch, going out for a while, go back to do the homework, finding some important stuffs through the net, taking care of the laundry, ironing, cleaning up. Catching up with some old friends is sometimes inserted in the agenda. With this, I hardly spend the time doing nothing at home. I only take a nap when I am sick and get a Medical Certificate (means a day-off from work, yey!). I still have 6 hours (7 at most) sleep at night. Should be enough, but sometimes I wish I can have more, at least during weekend. Oh well, reaching the manufacturing plant soon… Will continue later.
FYI, I am now already at home. I always have a pang of guilt whenever I am lazing around, because it seems to me that actually I still have an endless list of things to do. Be it reading something important and useful, searching for some information through the net (for work or others), practicing my painting, polishing my English… In short, there is really no end for learning process. And it is sometimes frustrating to think whether we have done enough or not. Are we wasting our time? Are we wasting our resources? Talents? How enough is enough? There seems to always be something after something.
One of my biggest mistakes is that I always tend to compare my glorious school days to the tiring, endless working days. I know I am not supposed to do that, as it will only torture my conscience, but I just can’t help it. In those days, I KNEW that I just needed to pull through until the exams finish, and after that the golden semester break was just around the corner where I could forget all about the strenuous subjects and projects. Whereas now, I just have no idea when it would all be over. Even when I take my leave from office, the thoughts would still haunt me. Oh-so-scary.
Well, it is just me blabbering around and complaining about things. It is not that I don’t appreciate the life that I am leading now. I am still very grateful with whatever I have and have achieved, as there are soooooo many people who are just not as lucky as I am. Am I too selfish to wish for all these?
Anyway, I am fully aware that a person has to make a choice. A person definitely can’t get anything that she/he wants. I KNOW that I must make a choice: should I change my mindset (i.e. stop demanding for more rest and start accepting the life as it is) or should I restructuring my life (i.e. change the priority and time-distribution and management completely)? Even to think about this I have been procrastinating for months….
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Air dan Api
“Eh lho kok ujan yah?” Kalimat yang terlontar dari mulut temen gue L bikin gue kaget dan panik pisan. Mungkin kalian pikir, “Buseeeeett… badan segede gitu masa takut sama ujan? Gerimis doank pula.” Masalahe, gue tuh lagi berusaha dengan sepenuh tenaga, daya dan upaya untuk menghidupkan api di BBQ Pit #14 di East Coast sana. Bayangin donk, kita lagi ngipas-ngipas dan maen api dengan penuh harap, terus masa seh hasil karya budi pekerti kita yang mulia (gimana ga mulia, kalo kita ga nyalain api berapa perut tuh yang akan unjuk rasa?) ini tiba-tiba sia-sia belaka? Bete donk, ya gak.
Hari itu, adek gue yang paling kecil ngerayain sweet seventeen birthday party with her friends (yang ngerayain ga dia doank sih) dengan acara bakar-bakaran (yang sah tapinya) di belahan timur Singapura. Pertama kali gue denger rencana ini, yang pertama terlintas adalah… “Yak ampun, adek gue udah nambah umur sampe 17 rupanya.” Biasalah, kita pasti nganggep orang yang lebih muda dari kita tuh kecil banget, dan kita kalo inget-inget pas 17 taon rasanya dulu kita udah gede banget. Kalo dulu jaman SMU, di antara temen-temen gue banyak yang menganggap hari ulang tahun ke 17 itu adalah The Pearly Gates to enter the dating series. Tapi bukan buat gue sih, males banget dulu mah pacar-pacaran. Untuk kasus kita (cieh, kesannya serius banget pake ada kasus segala) gue ninggalin Jakarta untuk mengadu nasib (kalo di film-film jaman dulu tuh digambarin dengan bawa-bawa tongkat berujung buntelan, tapi gue sih kagak, bawanya berkoper-koper) adik gue masi SD. Masi imut, putih, lucu, masi suka nangis kalo kebanyakan PR, pokoknya masi anak-anak banget deh. Eh tau-tau udah sweet seventeen. Time flies, dan artinya gue juga nambah tuh sampe kadang-kadang udah mulai dipanggil tante (yah walau kesannya tua tapi masi untung ga dipanggil oom).
Yah anyway, mau pantes mau kagak yang jelas adek gue ulang taon bulan lalu dan dirayain kemaren. Jadilah gue jadi “kakak” selama BBQ itu. BTW yang uda tuwir bukan gue doank sih, ada 4 orang lagi. Jadi total 5 matured, calm, dignified and good-natured adults and around 24 screaming, highly-enthusiastic, energetic small ch… oops, teenagers. Kebetulan hampir semua temen-temennya itu anak Indo yang tinggal di CJC hostel.
Yah, seperti biasa, BBQ itu dimulai dengan… ngejer-ngejer ayam buat di-marinade dan dibakar. Ih ya nggak lah, kesian deh lu kalo percaya. Namanya juga bakar-bakaran, perlu apa donk? Yak, tepat sekali. Perlu api. Gue tuh sebenernya paling males kalo ngurusin api pas BBQ. Karena menurut pengalaman-pengalaman gue, paling nyiksa tuh nyalain api. Pernah sampe sejem. Apalagi kalo alam lagi ga bersahabat alias arah angin yang acakadut kayak ngerjain kita dan bikin apinya mati mulu tiap mau disulut.
Drama babak pertama dibuka dengan kenyataan bahwa mereka ga punya korek api/lighter. Masya allah, pusing donk gue. Akhirnya kita pun minjem korek api dari pit sebelah (yang akhirnya lupa dibalikin dan udah terlanjur basah kuyub juga - oops). Setelah ga sukses-sukses juga, kita pinjem lighter dari pit sebelahnya juga (oops lagi and now you know why).
Segala daya upaya dikerahkan untuk menjinakkan angin yang buandel tenan. Panas-panas gitu anginnya kenceng banget dan ganti-ganti arah pula. Kan capek gue yang mayungin sampe tolol muter-muter. Judul babak pertama itu bener-bener Ora Et Labora deh, berdoa dan bekerja. “Nyala donk… nyala donk… nyala donk..” gitu deh kira-kira mantra kita (apa gue doank ya?). Dan gue udah mikir juga, setelah sekian lama apinya masih mundung, apa gue perlu pake senjata rahasia gue. Dulu, tiap BBQ, kalo apinya ga nyala-nyala biasa gue ny…. Oops, ga rahasia lagi donk kalo gue kasi tau.
Yah anyway, lagi berdiri dengan penuh dedikasi ublek-ublek charcoal, tiba-tiba terdengar suara merdu L di belakang gue “Eh lho kok ujan yah?”. Reaksi gue? “Cepetan gih suruh orang lempar – maaf - kolor biar ga ujan.” Alkisah itu adalah salah satu cara yang biasa ditempuh oleh para pawang ujan. Setelah merasa tak puas akan tanggapan yang diberikan – cuma cengar-cengir doank – akhirnya gue pun menyingsingkan lengan baju lagi balik nyalain api.
Eh makin lama ujannya makin deres… deres… dan bikin basah (ya iyalah, namanya juga ujan). Oh la la yang lain udah pada lari-lari sambil bawa tas-tas kita ke shelter yang kebetulan cukup dekat. Heroically, kita tetep berusaha nyalain api. Masih berdua aja tuh, udah blontang blonteng itemnya arang padahal. Perlahan namun pasti, mulai datang dukungan-dukungan. Satu cowok (dari kelompok remaja) menawarkan bantuannya pada kami berdua (dari kelompok dewasa). Kita bertiga pake dua payung, jadi dua orang megang payung dengan satu tangan dan maen api (kata nenek itu berbahaya) dengan tangan yang lain. Akhirnya datang lagi 1 orang mayungin kita jadi kita bisa mayungin api. Pokoknya formasi akhir adalah R (remaja) mayungin dirinya dan E (remaja). E (remaja) mayungin R (dewasa). V (remaja) mayungin dirinya dan D (remaja). D (remaja mayungin arang (bukan remaja dan bukan dewasa). R (dewasa) mayungin J (dewasa) dan arang. Wuih pokok e kalo ada helikopter mudeng-mudeng di atas bakal ngeliat lingkaran-lingkaran bak lambang Olympiade tapi ga bolong-bolong deh.
Tiba-tiba… ujannya tambah dereeeesss!!! Byuuuurrr!!! Suddenly, despite the beautiful formation of the umbrellas, kita tetep basah. Tapi kita memang pantang menyerah dan patah semangat. Pokoknya mau basah mau kering api harus nyala. Jadi kita makin gigih mayungin dan makin gigih ngipas-ngipas dengan koran tipis yang makin lama-makin lepek (gue tau pasti ada yang udah mulai siap dengan telunjuknya dan “kesiaaan deh lu”). Ketika arangnya udah mulai membara (thanks to bentuknya yang hollow cylinder and did help the heat transfer.. catet tuh, catet ya kalo mau beli arang) kita pun tutupin dengan aluminium foil di atas jeruji besinya. Eh lagi bungkus-bungkus, abis tuh aluminium foilnya. Alhasil kita lanjutkan dengan koran yang tadi keburu lepek itu. Terus berbondong-bondong kita lari ke shelter sambil tetep berdoa (walaupun sudah berhenti bekerja).
Ketika hujan mulai reda, gue yang emang kancheong in nature (gampang panikan maksudnya) pun balik ke tempat api (pake payung, of course) untuk inspeksi. Udah menabahkan dan menguatkan hati tuh kalo misalnya apinya udah mati. Tenang aja, bunuh diri sih kagak, paling nangis bombay dan bikin ujan lokal. Ternyata doa-doa yang dipanjatkan di bawah shelter pun terkabul sudah. Helaan napas lega terlontar dari mulut gue yang ga didengar siapa-siapa karena gak ada yang kurang kerjaan ujan-ujanan ngecek api. Rugi juga sih tapi gapapa lah. Aer ujan yang ketampung di aluminium foil udah mendidih tuh.
Yah akhirnya… berakhirlah babak satu drama kami. Api pun menyala sudah, baju pun sedikit demi sedikit mulai mengering. Yang lain pun segera menyusul dan mulai membuka acara BBQ ini lengkap dengan gunting pita seperti layaknya gubernur-gubernur meresmikan acara di Balai Kota (kalo di Jawa biasa dibilang Alun-alun). Pheeeww, jadi juga kita BBQan dan ngasi makan ke 20an perut.
Yah udah segitu dulu ceritanya. Babak-babak berikutnya menyusul kalo gak males hihihihi =D Udah malem nih, besok mulai lagi my routine of going to and fro to JB for the project. Masih banyak cerita asyik di BBQ, walau mungkin ga sedramatis nyalain api ujan-ujan. Mau tau? Cepek dulu donk….. (US$ bukan kayak Pak Ogah)
Hari itu, adek gue yang paling kecil ngerayain sweet seventeen birthday party with her friends (yang ngerayain ga dia doank sih) dengan acara bakar-bakaran (yang sah tapinya) di belahan timur Singapura. Pertama kali gue denger rencana ini, yang pertama terlintas adalah… “Yak ampun, adek gue udah nambah umur sampe 17 rupanya.” Biasalah, kita pasti nganggep orang yang lebih muda dari kita tuh kecil banget, dan kita kalo inget-inget pas 17 taon rasanya dulu kita udah gede banget. Kalo dulu jaman SMU, di antara temen-temen gue banyak yang menganggap hari ulang tahun ke 17 itu adalah The Pearly Gates to enter the dating series. Tapi bukan buat gue sih, males banget dulu mah pacar-pacaran. Untuk kasus kita (cieh, kesannya serius banget pake ada kasus segala) gue ninggalin Jakarta untuk mengadu nasib (kalo di film-film jaman dulu tuh digambarin dengan bawa-bawa tongkat berujung buntelan, tapi gue sih kagak, bawanya berkoper-koper) adik gue masi SD. Masi imut, putih, lucu, masi suka nangis kalo kebanyakan PR, pokoknya masi anak-anak banget deh. Eh tau-tau udah sweet seventeen. Time flies, dan artinya gue juga nambah tuh sampe kadang-kadang udah mulai dipanggil tante (yah walau kesannya tua tapi masi untung ga dipanggil oom).
Yah anyway, mau pantes mau kagak yang jelas adek gue ulang taon bulan lalu dan dirayain kemaren. Jadilah gue jadi “kakak” selama BBQ itu. BTW yang uda tuwir bukan gue doank sih, ada 4 orang lagi. Jadi total 5 matured, calm, dignified and good-natured adults and around 24 screaming, highly-enthusiastic, energetic small ch… oops, teenagers. Kebetulan hampir semua temen-temennya itu anak Indo yang tinggal di CJC hostel.
Yah, seperti biasa, BBQ itu dimulai dengan… ngejer-ngejer ayam buat di-marinade dan dibakar. Ih ya nggak lah, kesian deh lu kalo percaya. Namanya juga bakar-bakaran, perlu apa donk? Yak, tepat sekali. Perlu api. Gue tuh sebenernya paling males kalo ngurusin api pas BBQ. Karena menurut pengalaman-pengalaman gue, paling nyiksa tuh nyalain api. Pernah sampe sejem. Apalagi kalo alam lagi ga bersahabat alias arah angin yang acakadut kayak ngerjain kita dan bikin apinya mati mulu tiap mau disulut.
Drama babak pertama dibuka dengan kenyataan bahwa mereka ga punya korek api/lighter. Masya allah, pusing donk gue. Akhirnya kita pun minjem korek api dari pit sebelah (yang akhirnya lupa dibalikin dan udah terlanjur basah kuyub juga - oops). Setelah ga sukses-sukses juga, kita pinjem lighter dari pit sebelahnya juga (oops lagi and now you know why).
Segala daya upaya dikerahkan untuk menjinakkan angin yang buandel tenan. Panas-panas gitu anginnya kenceng banget dan ganti-ganti arah pula. Kan capek gue yang mayungin sampe tolol muter-muter. Judul babak pertama itu bener-bener Ora Et Labora deh, berdoa dan bekerja. “Nyala donk… nyala donk… nyala donk..” gitu deh kira-kira mantra kita (apa gue doank ya?). Dan gue udah mikir juga, setelah sekian lama apinya masih mundung, apa gue perlu pake senjata rahasia gue. Dulu, tiap BBQ, kalo apinya ga nyala-nyala biasa gue ny…. Oops, ga rahasia lagi donk kalo gue kasi tau.
Yah anyway, lagi berdiri dengan penuh dedikasi ublek-ublek charcoal, tiba-tiba terdengar suara merdu L di belakang gue “Eh lho kok ujan yah?”. Reaksi gue? “Cepetan gih suruh orang lempar – maaf - kolor biar ga ujan.” Alkisah itu adalah salah satu cara yang biasa ditempuh oleh para pawang ujan. Setelah merasa tak puas akan tanggapan yang diberikan – cuma cengar-cengir doank – akhirnya gue pun menyingsingkan lengan baju lagi balik nyalain api.
Eh makin lama ujannya makin deres… deres… dan bikin basah (ya iyalah, namanya juga ujan). Oh la la yang lain udah pada lari-lari sambil bawa tas-tas kita ke shelter yang kebetulan cukup dekat. Heroically, kita tetep berusaha nyalain api. Masih berdua aja tuh, udah blontang blonteng itemnya arang padahal. Perlahan namun pasti, mulai datang dukungan-dukungan. Satu cowok (dari kelompok remaja) menawarkan bantuannya pada kami berdua (dari kelompok dewasa). Kita bertiga pake dua payung, jadi dua orang megang payung dengan satu tangan dan maen api (kata nenek itu berbahaya) dengan tangan yang lain. Akhirnya datang lagi 1 orang mayungin kita jadi kita bisa mayungin api. Pokoknya formasi akhir adalah R (remaja) mayungin dirinya dan E (remaja). E (remaja) mayungin R (dewasa). V (remaja) mayungin dirinya dan D (remaja). D (remaja mayungin arang (bukan remaja dan bukan dewasa). R (dewasa) mayungin J (dewasa) dan arang. Wuih pokok e kalo ada helikopter mudeng-mudeng di atas bakal ngeliat lingkaran-lingkaran bak lambang Olympiade tapi ga bolong-bolong deh.
Tiba-tiba… ujannya tambah dereeeesss!!! Byuuuurrr!!! Suddenly, despite the beautiful formation of the umbrellas, kita tetep basah. Tapi kita memang pantang menyerah dan patah semangat. Pokoknya mau basah mau kering api harus nyala. Jadi kita makin gigih mayungin dan makin gigih ngipas-ngipas dengan koran tipis yang makin lama-makin lepek (gue tau pasti ada yang udah mulai siap dengan telunjuknya dan “kesiaaan deh lu”). Ketika arangnya udah mulai membara (thanks to bentuknya yang hollow cylinder and did help the heat transfer.. catet tuh, catet ya kalo mau beli arang) kita pun tutupin dengan aluminium foil di atas jeruji besinya. Eh lagi bungkus-bungkus, abis tuh aluminium foilnya. Alhasil kita lanjutkan dengan koran yang tadi keburu lepek itu. Terus berbondong-bondong kita lari ke shelter sambil tetep berdoa (walaupun sudah berhenti bekerja).
Ketika hujan mulai reda, gue yang emang kancheong in nature (gampang panikan maksudnya) pun balik ke tempat api (pake payung, of course) untuk inspeksi. Udah menabahkan dan menguatkan hati tuh kalo misalnya apinya udah mati. Tenang aja, bunuh diri sih kagak, paling nangis bombay dan bikin ujan lokal. Ternyata doa-doa yang dipanjatkan di bawah shelter pun terkabul sudah. Helaan napas lega terlontar dari mulut gue yang ga didengar siapa-siapa karena gak ada yang kurang kerjaan ujan-ujanan ngecek api. Rugi juga sih tapi gapapa lah. Aer ujan yang ketampung di aluminium foil udah mendidih tuh.
Yah akhirnya… berakhirlah babak satu drama kami. Api pun menyala sudah, baju pun sedikit demi sedikit mulai mengering. Yang lain pun segera menyusul dan mulai membuka acara BBQ ini lengkap dengan gunting pita seperti layaknya gubernur-gubernur meresmikan acara di Balai Kota (kalo di Jawa biasa dibilang Alun-alun). Pheeeww, jadi juga kita BBQan dan ngasi makan ke 20an perut.
Yah udah segitu dulu ceritanya. Babak-babak berikutnya menyusul kalo gak males hihihihi =D Udah malem nih, besok mulai lagi my routine of going to and fro to JB for the project. Masih banyak cerita asyik di BBQ, walau mungkin ga sedramatis nyalain api ujan-ujan. Mau tau? Cepek dulu donk….. (US$ bukan kayak Pak Ogah)
Saturday, April 16, 2005
I Had A Dream…
Yes, as it is written there, I used Past Tense. I used to have few dreams. Nonetheless, as I journey along my so-called life path I’ve seen more of my dreams shattered rather than coming into life. It is true, though, that something else came along the way and turned to be… well, better that what I had wished for. Now I see life more realistically. The ever-optimist and dreamful Rhea always believed (notice the past tense) that we can get whatever we dream for, any time we want it to happen. But one day, I woke up with my eyes open-wide and realized that in real world, nothing can come in at an instant. Life is a struggle and a battlefield. There is no constant smoothness along the journey. On that day also, I was dragged out from my cocoon, my comfort zone and was forced to taste the bitterness of life, apart from its blissful sweetness. But on that very day, I started to learn about the essence, the significance and the true meaning of life.
When I was younger, I used to see the world from a rose-tinted glass. As a student, what can you worry about? My cocoon consisted of my caring family, warm home and a bunch of joyful friends. What else could you ask? What I did were just studying, enjoying my time with the loved ones and dreaming about my future, which at that time I assumed to be bright and hopeful. Ironically, now as a young adult embracing her quarter-life, I spend a large portion of my time worrying and questioning about my future. As a student, getting some respectable (and even dignifying) achievements was not really out of my ability (or luck, perhaps?). It had then misled me to savor some degree of complacency. I thought that I will continue achieving my other glossy and astronomical dreams with same level of handiness. Luckily enough, it was not too late for me to realize that I was wrong. Completely wrong.
Dear optimists out there, please don’t condemn me as yet. Dear pessimists, don’t snigger at me… yet. I still keep some degree of optimism intact. I DO believe that dreams will come true, eventually. It may be sooner than what we expect but there is a possibility also that it may come much later. On one condition, that we really put what it takes wholeheartedly.
I still do have some dreams, though truthfully sometimes I am just afraid to keep them. Afraid of losing them, afraid of seeing them shattered again just like their brothers and sisters previously, afraid that I am flying to high and a typhoon may hit me hard. So hard that I fall FLAT to the ground. Or worse still, flat and crushed.
As I have grown more maturely (I suppose, or rather… I hope) I am now able to humbly put more pieces of reality and bits of true facts of life in constructing my puzzle of life. The way I see it now is that it still lacks most of the pieces, and I still keep my finger crossed while filling in the void with whatever I had. I have limited time and resources. These constraints really become the major hurdles for me as per now. With all its limitation, human being indeed can only do certain things in a given time. I know that I may need to sacrifice something to get the other. It is just that for this very moment, I am still not capable of justifying and bang the hammer on the table to announce that a decision has been made. I still have to survive in this competitive and rat-race world, anyway.
I have wrapped my dreams in a soft linen to keep it warm, embalmed them with scents to keep the mist of hope and put them inside a beautiful and stunning mummy caskets. I know they are there now, waiting for the right moment for me to unlatch the lock and breathe some new fresh air into its nostril. Resurrection is what I am going to do one day, after I have finished sorting things out. After I have enough contemplation to know what I am really after in this life, what I really enjoy doing and what is most meaningful not only for me, but also for God and Church (as the center of my life), my dearest family now and later. After I master skillfully the art of taming this fast-pacing life and at the same time not letting myself to lag too far behind.
A resurrection of my dreams is what’s going to happen one day, I promise you. Meanwhile, I need to arm myself with a bunch of things. To learn how to fly high, really high. To stagger on even when the typhoon (or tsunami as long as I live in South-East Asia) comes and challenge my courage. To be ready even when I have to fall flat (and crushed) to the ground. To learn how to gather myself again, with whatever remains behind, and stand up from that disgraceful position. To learn how to MAGNIFY my courage and determination even after a series of falls and failures. To learn not to lose my faith, wherever my life may lead me to. And then… I’ll be ready for more stellar dreams and adventures.
COURAGE IS THE MASTER OF ALL FEARS. This is what my fortune cookies told me one day, coincidentally when I was faced with one of the most fearful occurrence in my life (yes, along the journey to pursue one of my incredible dream…).
With this, I say to God “God, just walk with me. I know I will then need no other things.”
And I know He will say “So be it. AMEN.”
Regards,
Rhea, who suddenly gain more optimism….
When I was younger, I used to see the world from a rose-tinted glass. As a student, what can you worry about? My cocoon consisted of my caring family, warm home and a bunch of joyful friends. What else could you ask? What I did were just studying, enjoying my time with the loved ones and dreaming about my future, which at that time I assumed to be bright and hopeful. Ironically, now as a young adult embracing her quarter-life, I spend a large portion of my time worrying and questioning about my future. As a student, getting some respectable (and even dignifying) achievements was not really out of my ability (or luck, perhaps?). It had then misled me to savor some degree of complacency. I thought that I will continue achieving my other glossy and astronomical dreams with same level of handiness. Luckily enough, it was not too late for me to realize that I was wrong. Completely wrong.
Dear optimists out there, please don’t condemn me as yet. Dear pessimists, don’t snigger at me… yet. I still keep some degree of optimism intact. I DO believe that dreams will come true, eventually. It may be sooner than what we expect but there is a possibility also that it may come much later. On one condition, that we really put what it takes wholeheartedly.
I still do have some dreams, though truthfully sometimes I am just afraid to keep them. Afraid of losing them, afraid of seeing them shattered again just like their brothers and sisters previously, afraid that I am flying to high and a typhoon may hit me hard. So hard that I fall FLAT to the ground. Or worse still, flat and crushed.
As I have grown more maturely (I suppose, or rather… I hope) I am now able to humbly put more pieces of reality and bits of true facts of life in constructing my puzzle of life. The way I see it now is that it still lacks most of the pieces, and I still keep my finger crossed while filling in the void with whatever I had. I have limited time and resources. These constraints really become the major hurdles for me as per now. With all its limitation, human being indeed can only do certain things in a given time. I know that I may need to sacrifice something to get the other. It is just that for this very moment, I am still not capable of justifying and bang the hammer on the table to announce that a decision has been made. I still have to survive in this competitive and rat-race world, anyway.
I have wrapped my dreams in a soft linen to keep it warm, embalmed them with scents to keep the mist of hope and put them inside a beautiful and stunning mummy caskets. I know they are there now, waiting for the right moment for me to unlatch the lock and breathe some new fresh air into its nostril. Resurrection is what I am going to do one day, after I have finished sorting things out. After I have enough contemplation to know what I am really after in this life, what I really enjoy doing and what is most meaningful not only for me, but also for God and Church (as the center of my life), my dearest family now and later. After I master skillfully the art of taming this fast-pacing life and at the same time not letting myself to lag too far behind.
A resurrection of my dreams is what’s going to happen one day, I promise you. Meanwhile, I need to arm myself with a bunch of things. To learn how to fly high, really high. To stagger on even when the typhoon (or tsunami as long as I live in South-East Asia) comes and challenge my courage. To be ready even when I have to fall flat (and crushed) to the ground. To learn how to gather myself again, with whatever remains behind, and stand up from that disgraceful position. To learn how to MAGNIFY my courage and determination even after a series of falls and failures. To learn not to lose my faith, wherever my life may lead me to. And then… I’ll be ready for more stellar dreams and adventures.
COURAGE IS THE MASTER OF ALL FEARS. This is what my fortune cookies told me one day, coincidentally when I was faced with one of the most fearful occurrence in my life (yes, along the journey to pursue one of my incredible dream…).
With this, I say to God “God, just walk with me. I know I will then need no other things.”
And I know He will say “So be it. AMEN.”
Regards,
Rhea, who suddenly gain more optimism….
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
