back to square one

Back to school brings a mixed feeling to me. Part of me thinks "yeah, so this is it," but another part says "Oh Gosh, I am waaaay behind my friends."

In each gathering I feel so small to hear my other friends who have started a family, or ventured a new business, hopped on to another lucrative job, etc. Me? I am back to a low-income and struggling student. Square one.

I often asked myself "will I ever reach the stage that they have comfortably been at at this moment?" or, better still, "will my effort be paid off one day and I can surpass them?"

All in all, I think it is all back to what we want in life. Life is a choice and I've made this decision of what kind of career and life that I want to have one day, and getting a PhD degree is the only way to get it. In addition, getting a PhD from a well-known university is critical to secure the job I want. It's all about reputation and... prestige?

Anyway, I know that life will be extremely difficult in the years that follow. I really hope that we will reap the fruits one day...