Ngantuk

It's Friday now, all right... But this fact doesn't really help to shun away my post-lunch drowsiness. And when it is mixed with some relieved feeling, it is just worse, what with my adrenaline has stopped rushing and taken some dormancy.

Nothing really exciting at work now, I've done all programming that I need to do, and my next task will be to do some networking thingy (TCP/IP). Got the idea already, boss... but still don't know what to do next (i.e. how to start the program). This TCP/IP will be part of the program though, so the program to be written will still be DSP (Digital Signal Processing, that is).

So, first thing I did was to find out what does TCP stand for. Thanks to wikipedia, it's Tranmission Control Protocol. Is that right?

Oh well, sometimes I feel like a general helper here in this program. LOL. Which is good, actually. That's actually one of the main reason of me leaving my previous company and joining a Research Institute instead. You know, by end of my first semester in NTU I had rather regretted for not opting Computer Engineeering instead (that's after my Computing lesson). But since MPE was so much fun (I really had a blast there!! The peers, and even the lecturers are friendly) so I stayed (as if switching to other major was an option) and streamed into Mechatronics specialization which, I thought, will give me more programming experiences. It did. All my favourite subject were programming-related. And I managed to escape from other projects (well, almost) by directing them to other team mates (luckily we had freedom to choose out team mates and the usual guys fell on the usual group) and promising that I would do all the programming stuffs. They were always more than happy to accept that (they are mechanical engineers-to-be, remember?). I also did a 100% programming project for my Final Year Project (and I always refer my final semester in NTU as my long enjoyable holiday, cheers to that).

So, to finish off what I've left, after having spent two years plus in product design, I missed programming (not in a very sentimental kind of "miss" though) so I thought "oh well, must give it a shot". Though I still doubt myself "Which company in its right mind want to hire me to do programming with very limited background?". My previous manager, who for only-God-knows reason wanted to retain my employment, tried to "pass" me to the software development dept, which was to no avail as its manager doubt my ability to perform the programming task. Oh well, as if I still want to stay... *grin*

Some people attempted to discourage me from joining a government-funded Research Institute (RI). They said:
1. the pace is too slow: well, it suits me. As I need a slow pace which may allow me to really learn at the beginning. I am not a programmer, remember?

2. they are too detail minded: well well well we're talking about researcher and scientist here, of course they HAVE to be extremely, excruciatingly detail minded. Unlike industry which (mostly) focus on deliverables, RIs focus more on detail and... how to put it... perfection? I was TOO detail minded and TOO critical in my previous job, I felt like a wrong peg in a wrong hole.

3. the pressure is bigger though hidden: you'll not be chased out for deadlines, but you are demanded to egg out certain number of papers and publications each year. But isn't how you can enjoy all the gadgets you have in your pocket, at home, in office and any other places? Those papers and publications are the rudimentary stage of technology development.

4. they are a bunch of nerd (really, some people told me that): well, didn't you say I am one?

All in all, nothing can waver me from joining an RI. And really, I would never regret it. I now feel that my life is more... well, on-track.

So here I am, joining this RI since Sept 2005. Spent the first two months to catch up with DSP, with programming (the last time I used C I think was in Computing lesson, right... that was in my first semester) and also the other development that has been done for this project. Honestly, I felt so stupid sometimes (I was surrounded by experienced people who really know what they are doing.. and beyond, remember?), felt like digging the ground and then burying myself in there (it's not an understatement). I kept telling myself, it will just take time. So stagger on! So stagger on I do. And now, I am open to anything new to learn. Including TCP/IP, that is. The most embarassing moment has passed (hopefully).

For any true-blue programmers reading this, well... I am still minuscule compared to you guys. So don't ask me to discuss any too-technical topic, OK? But I am enjoying and (hopefully) catching up...